


How much is redemption

by ChestOfStories



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Angst, F/M, Family, Friendship/Love, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:50:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 70,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChestOfStories/pseuds/ChestOfStories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Kai crashes Jo's wedding and turns himself into a vampire-witch heretic, he and Bonnie are due for a final stand. Their agendas, however, clash in unexpected ways. / AU season 6 finale AU season 7</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kai's POV

**Author's Note:**

> Given how long it grows as it unravels. The story came alive and took over, galloping beyond our control. Enjoy the ride!

# Chapter One

Kai thought his hand would shake when he had Bonnie caught in his magical grip and her boots tore off the floor, but it didn't. With the blurry veil of looming death finally lifted off his eyes, he saw hers flooded with fear and realization of defeat. He held her there, like a damn Darth Vader, and wanted to relish in her terror that was his reward. He really wanted to – and for a moment there, he thought he did. Kai liked to have an upper hand after what felt like an eternity of misery and losses. He liked being the reason her heart thrashed – and felt the momentary urge to laugh at his former stupidity: God, was he stupid or what when he thought this frantic pulse might ever overcome her for another reason when she looked at him. There were not enough apologies in the world to make anyone see what they didn't want to see. His problem was, however, that there was just one person in the whole world he wanted to see it. And she not just chose ignorance – she stabbed him with the same weapon he gave her himself. Ironic, indeed. Also, too damn painful. So painful it felt impossible that there could be so much hurt available to harass you constantly. He desperately wished to turn it off, to go back and rewind it, but never could.

Not until now.

Now, Kai recalled, he truly could turn it all off. Take advantage of the vampire perk. It was exactly what he would do, after this was over. One last piece was missing, and there's no cake without an icing.

He gnashed his teeth, absorbing the horror her face was oozing. Nor did she hide the disdain and … what was it? He could bet his damned life, it was hatred there, too.

_Good. Let her hate me. Let her choke on it if that's what she wants._

A fleeting grimace of wrath gripping his face, he flicked his wrist, sending Bonnie Bennett's fragile human body into the wall. He felt himself flinch as her spine and ribs cracked before she hit the floor and lay there, motionless and breathing in short, sporadic gasps like a rabbit about to die from fright. Kai smelled her blood – the little of it that oozed from her ear or the corner of her mouth – and as peckish as he felt by then, hunger was the last thing to hold his attention. Something was trembling inside of him when he made himself sit on the wooden stage step. He let out an unsteady breath, locked his hands together in front of him to ground himself and focus. There was blood everywhere, but hers kept pulling his strings. Kai kept wondering how he knew it right away, and hated that new vampire nose.

He started to understand he hated a whole lot about this day.

It had to become the feast of newly won freedom. It was going there up until now – until that little crack of bone that sent his mind reeling. He realized he was indeed trembling, tried to make himself stop, could not. Not while she kept drawing air in those tiny gasps like a small wounded animal. A hot flash of anger almost made him tell her – again – it was all her fault, her doing, but then he didn't. No point when he had told her just that on the tape. Kai heaved a sigh and rubbed his neck. At least something in him wasn't aching, anymore.

Damon finally showed up. Took him long enough – Kai was beginning to worry the vampire would come to his dead friend – but he made it in time. Broken glass crunched under Damon's shoes as he approached her, scowling as if a pit bull was gnawing at his left bullock. He observed her, squatted down. "Bonnie… Hey, Bonnie?"

She gave a strangled sob. "D—Damon…"

"So, Damon," Kai began, and Damon looked up at him as though just now noticing, "here's the thing. Your choice just got much easier to make – you're welcome, by the way. We all know how much of a wreck you are without your 'damn girlfriend' as you put it earlier, so hereby you get a chance to reunite with her… in, say, a few minutes. Bon's not doing so hot. Of course, you can throw it off by a hundred years – witches are good at longevity. Or you could just let the injury take its toll, no blood on your hands. Kiss and hug and make up and walk away and then you get what you want. How about that? Happily ever after was tonight's motto – or was supposed to be, after all, right?" Kai gave him a mock hearty smile.

"Da—Damon," Bonnie croaked. "P—Please…"

Damon's face was a kaleidoscope of scattered emotions shifting into each other: hurt, anger, grief, fear, sympathy – they all danced around in a frenzy of doubt. It struck Kai amazed how much doubt.

And it struck him dumbfounded there was any at all.

A faint grimace of misery creased Damon's features. "I'm so sorry, Bon," he whispered.

Bonnie wheezed; her pulse jumped. Kai saw her head jerk in Damon's direction as if she didn't trust her eyes and ears.

Kai knew he no longer wanted to trust his.

Damon leaned in to place a tender kiss on her forehead, then pried his hand from hers clutching at it as though it were a life belt. Flabbergasted, Kai watched him slowly walk away from her, like an ashamed dog with its tail tucked between its legs.

With a sudden impulse of indignation, Kai bolted up and threw his hand forth. That crack caressed his hearing and touched his mouth with a satisfied smile. He scoffed a laugh as he stood over Bonnie, overseeing Damon's body a dozen feet away. "Did you see that, Bon? That was it. He just left you. Wow, man. I mean, one would think four months is a long enough time to get to know someone, but look at that! And not only I didn't know anything – you were as clueless." He looked down at her, gauging her reaction and drinking it in, all of it, tear by tear that rolled from the corners of her eyes and gathered in her ears and hair. She wasn't looking at him – her eyes were locked on some space within her broken heart. Kai couldn't hear it break, but he saw the shards.

And he felt the pain.

"Fate's sense of humor is a twisted thing, hey, Bon. Or call it karma or whatever else – the point stays the same." He seated himself on the floor next to her. "You know, when I sat back there with those heretics sucking my life out, one painful drop after another, I dreamt of this moment. It was a bit different every time, but frankly, I couldn't imagine it quite like it's panned out. This is really more than I could ask for – it shows you exactly what the one person you trusted most stands for, and how much you're worth to those you consider your family. Oh, I'm so experienced in that kind of hurt – and I really, really wanna feel glee now that you've discovered that pain and joined my club… but somehow it sickens me. It sickens me to see you betrayed me for a bogus. It sickens me to see you've thrown me back in the pit of hell when I only just climbed out – for THIS."

Her eyes finally flicked to his and locked, welled up, spilling. And there was hate, burning brighter than before, flanked by hurt and terror.

And that hate did Kai in. He felt his heart crunch up with all the ire, exasperation, disappointment and despair finally reaching the rim and pouring out bubbling. He stared down at her, almost breathless. "You'll never get it, will you? You'll never actually grasp it, no matter what I do." Bitterness filled him to the top of his ears; it burned him like acidic rainstorm raging inside. "It's always gonna be me to pin the blame on, huh. He walked away, and it's still my fault? Right? Of course. Would it still be my fault if it were you the sleeping one and neither of them ever remembered about you while living out their happily-ever-after? Of course… And you know why? Because it's always easier to justify those you love. That's why they screw you over – because you let 'em." Unconsciously, he wiped his cheek with the back of his hand and found there was a tear on its way down. Another one was about to spill before he got it, too. He didn't want to look at Bonnie. He didn't think he could stand to read how much she hated him.

She wheezed – probably another sob.

He let out an abrupt exhale, bit his wrist and pressed it to her mouth. He expected her to fight it, but she didn't. She latched on and drank while he regarded Damon's corpse in the hallway. Kai took his hand away, got up and strolled to the stage. The dark pool of blood was drying. He remembered Alaric's gaze – a void filled with nothing but raw suffering. Kai felt like a sick man between the delusions. Her was vaguely aware he had to be feeling something – and that there was too much to register without overheating the core.

Behind him, Bonnie was scrambling to her feet.

He suddenly knew she would run to check on Damon, and couldn't conceive of witnessing it. There was a limit to what he could take at this point. "Go away," he said without turning, his eyes glued to the pool of Jo's blood. "Get away from me."


	2. Bonnie's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon left Bonnie for dead? Kai fed her his blood after trying to kill her? What is happening and how will she react?

Bonnie snapped a leg off one of the damaged wedding chairs, being cautious to do so, not wanting to alert Kai of her objective while he busied himself with his werewolf bite. She stalked towards him, slowly approaching from behind, brandishing the unpolished stake with the purpose of driving into his back. All she needed was one passable arc of the wrist and her walking-talking boogey monster riddled nightmare would be over. Along with every shortness of breath, the increasing anxiety of what she knew—and now witnessed—he could and would do – all of it. That would be done, this chapter of her life would be over and the ugliness that consumed her for the better part of two and a half years would disintegrate. Just like that and just like he would. It was that simple. She had to believe it.

She _did_ believe it.

"You know what's funny? I didn't even know werewolves were real until I got bit by one," he piped up suddenly. "The thing is, Bon, the only way a guy turns into a wolf is if it's magic, right, so technically, their venom's magic, too."

Bonnie tightened her sweaty grip on the piece of wood the closer she got, blood pumping in her ears, practically drowning out what he was saying, kicking both anticipation and adrenaline into high gear.

"So I just went ahead and siphoned it up."

_Wait. What did he say?_

She blinked, mulling over what he'd chattered about the last few seconds, her mind racing almost as fast as her heart, an instinctive and warning sweat breaking out across her skin as he stood. 'No,' she thought with uncontrolled alarm, her eyes widening as he turned to face her.

"No, no, no, no," she muttered over and over, reading his immediate intent, the strength and determination seeping from her body almost as swiftly as it reentered his own. This was all wrong! This wasn't possible!

She gasped, contradicting her thoughts as an invisible hand closed around her, immobilizing, the piece of wood slipping from her grasp as she rose to the air, guided like a puppet being pulled from its stage. She wanted to cry, to scream and rage as he stared at her, his face amass of indecipherable emotion, no longer looking as though he was taking pleasure in what he was doing and every bit as though he planned to skin her alive.

That look frightened, haunted her dreams, and fuelled what she always knew: that he was a monster.

He appeared to read her thoughts, his face devoid of its usual mirth and momentarily contorted with hatred as he sent her flying across the spacious room. Air rushed from Bonnie's lungs as she bounced off the wall and crashed to the hardwood floor, hand-delivered to the layer of dead bodies already scattered around the shaken barn. She briefly blacked out, a sob tearing from her throat in panic as she hurdled back to reality, pain radiating throughout her body—agony she'd never experienced before—tears streaming down the sides of her face.

'I can't move,' she told herself in a voiceless panic, unable to flex her hands, to move her legs, and more importantly, she had to fight for her breath, her increasing heartrate doing nothing to support her troubles. She didn't want to go like this, she didn't want to feel her life slipping from her hands and know that she wouldn't get the chance to experience having a family of her own, a career or even something as indefinite as an actual future. She wanted those things, she wanted to make good of the vows she made to herself, and she no longer wanted to be alone.

Damon appeared as he always did, like they'd had a tiff moments ago and he realized what an ass he'd been. He'd fix this, he'd fix her and the pain would be gone.

"D—Damon…" she sobbed, his name barely struggling from her lips, her body prickling with overpowering relief that fleetingly overrode the blinding discomfort.

"Bonnie… Hey, Bonnie?" he said in a bemused voice, stooping beside her, taking a moment to catalogue her injuries, the look in his eyes further frightening her.

"So, Damon," Kai interjected from somewhere, making himself known once more, "here's the thing. Your choice just got much easier to make – you're welcome, by the way. We all know how much of a wreck you are without your 'damn girlfriend' as you put it earlier, so hereby you get a chance to reunite with her… in, say, a few minutes."

'No!' Bonnie wanted to scream, picking up on what he was trying to do, tears leaking from her eyes, losing themselves in her hair, another sob ripping from her throat in a weak attempt to stop him.

"Bon's not doing so hot," Kai remarked as he went on. "Of course, you can throw it off by a hundred years – witches are good at longevity. Or you could just let the injury take its toll, no blood on your hands. Kiss and hug and make up and walk away and then you get what you want. How about that? Happily ever after was tonight's motto – or was supposed to be, after all, right?"

"Da—Damon," Bonnie struggled out. "P—Please…" 'I don't want to die', she craved so desperately to shout at him, unable of find the voice to do so, her breath tittering into her lungs haphazardly, nearly choking her.

Various emotions played over Damon's face, agonizing seconds ticking by, time feeling as though it had stopped altogether, brutally transporting Bonnie back to the moment she'd shared with Matt in the Salvatores' Parlor.

"You have to get out town now, Bon," Matt stated as soon as he'd viewed Kai's message.

"I'm not letting Kai win," she replied.

"Bon, Elena's the only thing that Damon Salvatore cares about," Matt beseeched, trying to make her see reason, his voice and concerned face fading away to make room for Damon's contemplative one.

In the past, Bonnie might have followed Matt's advice, but things were different now, she and Damon were friends - close friends. What they'd experienced in nineteen-ninety-four and the value of their friendship wasn't something either of them could just brush off.

"I'm so sorry, Bon," he whispered in an apologetic tone, shocking her, stealing of the sparse breath from her damaged lungs, her head jerking toward him as though he'd slapped her. Blurred in her watery vision, Damon leaned down to press a misleadingly tender kiss to her forehead, her strength temporarily returning as he pried himself free, her nails clawing at the top of his hand, desperate to hold onto him for as long as possible. Which was no more than a second. Her hand shot back to her chest and was cradled against her aching heart, her face turned away from him, the wall unseen as she silently wept.

"Did you see that, Bon? That was it. He just left you. Wow, man. I mean, one would think four months is a long enough time to get to know someone, but look at that! And not only I didn't know anything – you were as clueless."

For those few seconds she'd forgotten Kai was there, his every word like a swift hand purposely rubbing salt into the wound. Again, he was right and everything she thought she knew and believed was wrong. So very wrong.

"Fate's sense of humor is a twisted thing, hey, Bon. Or call it karma or whatever else – the point stays the same."

Bonnie paid no mind as she heard him take a seat beside her, probably so he could have a front row seat and enjoy the remainder of her painful show.

"You know, when I sat back there with those heretics sucking my life out, one painful drop after another, I dreamt of this moment. It was a bit different every time, but frankly, I couldn't imagine it quite like it's panned out. This is really more than I could ask for – it shows you exactly what the one person you trusted most stands for, and how much you're worth to those you consider your family. Oh, I'm so experienced in that kind of hurt – and I really, really wanna feel glee now that you've discovered that pain and joined my club… but somehow it sickens me. It sickens me to see you betrayed me for a bogus. It sickens me to see you've thrown me back in the pit of hell when I only just climbed out – for THIS."

Her eyes welled up, each word striking a cord—and it was meant to—making her hate him all the more, making her hate herself for ever believing that her friends would see some kind of value in her. That maybe—this one time—she wouldn't have to face the big bad wolf and her impending doom alone. She believed she had that in Damon, she thought she had that in Elena and yet—as fate always had it—here she was, staring up at Kai who'd both emotionally and physically ripped her to shreds in a span of minutes, exposing her every insecurity like he knew exactly which buttons to push.

God, she hated him.

"You'll never get it, will you?" he asked. "You'll never actually grasp it, no matter what I do."

What the hell did that mean?

"It's always gonna be me to pin the blame, huh. He walked away, and it's still my fault? Right? Of course. Would it still be my fault if it were you the sleeping one and neither of them ever remembered about you while living out their happily-ever-after? Of course… And you know why? Because it's always easier to justify those you love. That's why they screw you over – because you let 'em."

Bonnie continued staring up at him, trying to make sense of what he was trying to tell her, confused by his apparent need to make her understand. Was he crying? She could hardly tell through her own waterworks.

She rasped, cutting short the thought, the pressure upon her chest increasing painfully. She blinked when he unexpectedly pressed his wrist to her parted lips, and took his offering with both hands, her eyes closing to savor the taste, her tongue caressing the wound as though her life depended on it. And it did, as she wanted nothing more than to live and hardly stopped to think of what it meant or what new game he'd cooked up in his head.

When he pulled away, got up and walked off from her, Bonnie stayed where she was for a couple of seconds, feeling the searing agony fade away and her breathing return to normal.

She raised herself up on her elbows, peering over her shoulder to where Kai was studying something on the floor, and then sat up, pausing for half a second when she caught sight of Damon sprawled upon the floor. She pushed off, shaking off the phantom numbness in her legs that threatened to send her tumbling again, and stumbled over to her former friend's body. She inspected Damon from head to toe with her eyes to make sure Kai hadn't killed him – not permanently. The still raw feeling of betrayal cutting through her like a hot knife in butter.

"Go away," Kai said, jarring her back to the present once again reclaiming her attention. "Get away from me."

Something in the air shifted, taking with it the encompassing fear that struck her senseless earlier. Bonnie didn't even know what it was, but somehow it felt as if their quandaries reached their climax.

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry for leaving you in 1903," she began, staring at his back, feeling the need to say something, wanting him to understand that what transpired wasn't something they could simply take back. "I'm not. And I'm not going to apologize for stabbing you in the back or even attempting to kill you," she said frankly. For whatever reason, she needed him to know that. He'd hurt her, scarred her in a way that no one else ever had, a physical reminder neatly tucked just under her left breast. "Not after you came back and did the very thing I knew you would. The very thing I _feared_ you would." She shuddered, throwing a glance at a woman grotesquely draped over a chair; her back clearly had been broken in the middle of his vivacious revenge. "These people didn't deserve this, Kai," she stated, her voice breaking slightly as she walked up behind him, taking note of the dark bloodstain he was staring at. "Your sister didn't deserve this. Jo was a good woman, marrying an equally decent man whose life you ripped apart without even thinking." She felt anger seep into her tone. "I even know that this it isn't entirely your fault. That I—" she swallowed thickly, feeling tears gather behind her eyes again, hating that in spite of her better intentions, and of healing herself, she'd contributed to destroying a family that hadn't had a chance to bloom. "—I'm mostly to blame. I drove you to this, obviously," she continued with a bitter laugh, his speech having made her see that. "I… whatever you suffered by the hands of those… things, those people…" she deliberated, trying to shake off the image he'd placed in her head, "that's all I can ask forgiveness for." Whether he got up now, snapped her neck or laughed in her face, she'd said what she'd said and that was it – what more could she do?


	3. Chapter 3

_"I'm not going to say I'm sorry for leaving you in nineteen-o-three,"_ she said, making Kai shudder.

Her voice reverberated within his body, physically aching and ripping at the strings of his weakening self-control.

_"I'm not. And I'm not going to apologize for stabbing you in the back or even attempting to kill you,"_ she continued, clueless to how close to another bout of torture she was teetering. _"Not after you came back and did the very thing I knew you would. The very thing I feared you would. These people didn't deserve this, Kai. Your sister didn't deserve this. Jo was a good woman, marrying an equally decent man whose life you ripped apart without even thinking."_

Another shiver traveled through him instead of a nervous laugh he thought would slip out. Without thinking… He had a long fucking time to think, that was for sure. If anything, he'd thought about it thoroughly.

_"I even know that this it isn't entirely your fault. That I—"_ he heard her throat click as she swallowed, _"I'm mostly to blame. I drove you to this, obviously. I… whatever you suffered by the hands of those… things, those people… That's all I can ask forgiveness for."_

"Forgiveness," Kai repeated dumbly. The pool of blood started morphing into a black patch of starless space, a crack in reality, making him dizzy. He was distantly aware he was losing it a little along the stitches. The smell of blood was suffocating, and her voice still rang inside his skull, words bouncing off the walls like dry peas. "Forgiveness," he repeated in a soundless breath, probing himself for reaction. He felt like someone threw a thick tarp over his raging emotions and they kind of lost their direction under it, groping their way around, not knowing where to step. And then laughter started in his chest, like a buzzing cell phone gradually gaining volume, as he turned to look her in the eye.

Bonnie studied him, unmistakably seeing him stiffen, half-expecting Kai to lash out at her, and grimaced when instead he started laughing like a manic. She'd heard it enough to know the difference and tonight, that lethal look in his eyes, the one he currently zeroed in on her, held none of its former frivolity. No, this was someone else, something broken, and something she now knew she had a part in creating.

He must have looked like a loony, he reckoned, laughing like a cartoon villain amidst the chaos he's caused, but none of the glee was real or heart-felt. At this moment, Kai wasn't sure where his heart was and if it was. "What the fuck is that forgiveness and why would you want it? Look," he spread his arms at the wrecked room.

She looked, agreeing with him internally, knowing there was no way to make up for murdering these people. How could there be?

"Is there a thing like forgiveness in the world like that? I dared to think so – and then you know what happened. So tell me, Bonnie," all gaiety drained from his face as he fixed her with a sharp, heavy stare, stepping away from the stage towards her, "why would I forgive you for dismissing my efforts as if I were shit stuck to your dress shoe? Why would I forgive you for handing a dozen chances per day to Damon and denying me a smidgen of that share?

Bonnie flinched slightly, recalling how earnest he seemed in his attempts to make nice with her, how afraid she'd been, how incapable of trusting that Kai could be anything other than the monster that haunted her nightmares.

"And why would I leave my damned family to live happily ever after when they never stopped plotting to lock me away to rot? WHY? They could've just killed me, for crying out loud, if I were that much of an ugly duckling to them, but they PUT ME IN HELL! What I did to them here is mercy compared to what they dealt me."

"You're right," she responded, taking an automatic step back as his voice rose, swallowing away the lump in her throat, forcing herself to forget what he'd done to her minutes ago and stick to her prior resolve.

Kai could smell it she was placating him, and for a second, thought he would launch himself at her to see how much of her blood he could drain in one gulp.

"They alienated and pushed you away for something that was beyond your control. It's harsh, it's lonely and it's hard. But do you honestly believe you're the only person in the world to deal with inattentive assholes for parents? That you're alone in feeling neglected and unloved? Say what you will, Kai. Pass the buck. Blame me. Blame your father for putting you in some hellish prison world. God forbid you can even blame your brother Timmy," she studied him, hoping—for some unknown reason—to see a flicker of what had been there before she dropped him in nineteen-o-three, "the one that struggled as you drowned him in your pool, you remember him, don't you?"

He did. It was something from another galaxy. Something he must have seen in some stupid thriller.

"I'm sure whatever he did to you was deserved and far less brutal than having to endure eighteen years of solitude. At least you have a life—something you can try to mend and heal from, what does he have? What does your sister, her twins and would-be husband have?" She knew she was playing with fire, that if he wanted to, he could snap her neck or worse, but she didn't care. "You think this is mercy?" she said, spreading her arms in the same way he had before. "It's simply proving what they always thought you were. What I believed you were."

In the dark abyss of his being, Kai sensed the dying out ember of anger brighten to life in the flare of helpless despair. He was never getting out of this vicious circle. Trying it before indeed was stupid.

"When does it stop?" she demanded. "With me? I clearly wasn't mature enough to embrace that concept. With you? Where? Did I truly break you that much?"

Kai stared at her, nonplussed, for a long moment of blankness. Then it hit him like a bat upside the head, pushing the baffled disbelief up like a giant air bubble rising from under water to the surface to release poisonous gas. A brief, uncontrolled laugh fell from his mouth, and he drew a deep breath, squelching the urge to resort to violence and just take it all out on her instead of having to cough up explanations that, obviously, were as useful as a condom with its end cut off. His lips drew back in a little sneer of a man who's found out that what he thought was a nightmare happens to be real. Then a glint of dour knowing flickered in his eye as he regarded her, pondered on pouring it out, decided to go with a point-blank. "Did it truly break you that much when he walked away?"

An incredulous and incomprehensibly bitter laugh automatically spilled from Bonnie's lips, her eyes unconsciously darting over her shoulder to where Damon still lay. Kai damned well knew that it hurt as he'd seen their friendship unfold as if it were his very own entertainment. Damon was her confidant and her best friend. She loved him. Just thinking about it now was like enduring that back-breaking pain all over again, gripping and twisting her heart, literally squeezing until she was left with nothing but agonizing frailty. She stared at Kai, studying his features, eyeing the significant smile that twisted his lips, like he'd shared something she'd missed by a mile.

And then, like a Mack truck, those cutesy little looks he'd given her, the weirdly endearing commentary about her palms and his insistence to 'go if you go' seemed to make sense.

It was like Damon said: "You're just not used to guys hitting on you."

He regarded her expression that was a quickly changing slideshow: hurt, bemusement, disbelief, ire, inquiry, shreds of feelings that had no time to grow roots and swept past and twirled around. She studied him, like someone would study their apartment upon discovering it has been redecorated while they've been away for lunch.

"You hardly know me," she began, suddenly finding the entire situation surreal, not wanting to voice aloud what she was thinking in fear of giving life to something she wasn't sure she was ready to hear the answer to. "I mean, I hardly know you. And what I do know is downright terrifying." In an odd panic, she took another glance around, suddenly saddened by what he was trying to imply. "Or it was. Is." She exhaled as if to focus. "I get it," she said, having assured herself that she'd come to the conclusion, that the comparison was easily explained, and that he was simply projecting. "I felt it too when you left me there. That place, the loneliness, it swallows you whole and breaks away pieces of who you are, who you used to be. It's only natural that you'd feel a connection to the people who'd shared that experience with you." And why was she even talking about this? None of this changed anything, nothing about his confession would bring these people back or revive Jo. What's done is done.

Head tipped to one side, Kai watched her trying her damned best to play a shrink, to humor him. To lie to him. Again.

"So… what now? Where are we supposed to go from here? Am I supposed to feel guilty?" She quirked up a brow, curious, genuinely wondering what he expected from her. "Because I do. And not because I didn't feel it back." She needed him to recognize that, needed him to know that although there was an attraction of sorts in the beginning, she never viewed him the same. Not after his happy family-hunting stories came to light. "Or that I didn't see it and couldn't fathom something like that, but because all of this could have been prevented somehow. That is the point of this, right? That why you linked me to Elena, why you can rally your victory in driving a wedge between Damon and I? You healed me so that he can despise me, so that I can hate him for not choosing me as much as you do me. Right?" She took a step forward, no longer feeling quite as scared as she was before, suddenly feeling as if she'd found all the answers and his entire game plan had been revealed.

With a feeble wonder, Kai discovered he could still be hurt more. Something cringed inside his chest, then a silent pulse went through his being, like a sonic wave after a nuclear explosion, deafening his feelings. And the only solid feeling he was left with was exhaustion. An exhaustion of a man who's been there from the day one of the earth. Too long to be. It started to seem to him he had accidentally switched his humanity off, but then a thin thread of hurt glistened in the distance, lacing through the fibers of his soul. He drew in a long breath, let it out, looked at her listlessly. "I linked you to Elena because of Damon, yes." He shrugged, a tiny fleeting smile with no joy in it creasing his mouth as he did. "Maybe, it was to make you both pay. Or maybe I gave you both a chance. For you to see how he truly felt for you in return for what you obviously felt for him against all odds that were Elena and his inhuman temper that drove him to be the monster you only see in me."

Damon and what Bonnie might be feeling were the least of her concerns at this very moment in time. Even if she knew Kai was right. She did love Damon. How and to what extent? She wasn't sure, yet. She mentally shrugged off trying to decipher the standing of their relationship—still too hurt, still to numb—and what it never would be. And there it was again, the revealing repetition that she saw him as the enemy – what she was gradually starting to believe was the actual reason he was so hurt. Clearly recalling that during their not-so-horrible pre-peace thanksgiving dinner that his father referred to him as an abomination and treated him as such for years. He'd looked hurt sharing that piece of information, much like he was now, briefly surpassing his deceptive twenty something looks in essence. It made Bonnie wonder if that was why he chose to go this far, and if he was merely giving her what she'd asked for and believed she needed. A monster.

"And for Damon to pull his head out of his ass and notice the treasure at his feet he never noticed while staring anywhere but – and that I could only do by taking away his main fixation that was Elena."

Bonnie stared, uncertain of how to handle the backwards way in which he confessed to wanting to see her happy. It was a sacrifice no one else had ever made for her—and guiltily, as much as it hurt knowing her best friend's life was erased from existence for the next fifty or sixty years—another part of her was overwhelmed.

His face distorted momentarily with a scornful wince as her last argument refreshed itself in his mind. Ire – that had been slowly boiling under the thick crust like lava – now started bubbling towards the surface, sizzling as it mixed with hurt. Kai locked his eyes on hers in a penetrating stare. "No, Bonnie, I didn't heal you so he would despise you – I don't give a rat's ass about what he feels for you or Elena or anyone else. I healed you so you wouldn't die." He backed away from her in a tardy stagger, like a drunkard trying to get out of the closing pub, overwhelmed with equally strong urges to tuck into her neck and merely ghost away from here, away from her. He felt the veins of wrath and hunger swell under his eyes; the sharp tips of his fangs pricked his lower lip, gums itching savagely. "Get the fuck away from me before I take it back."


	4. Chapter 4

"No," Bonnie responded stubbornly, ignoring his notice, remembering what he'd been searching for when she walked in. "You're hungry and newly turned vampires typically struggle with controlling their bloodlust." She squatted, picking up a piece of glass from one of the broken lamps, inhaling deeply as she worked up a little courage, and stood again. She'd never been the type for having vampires feed on her—and was the last to volunteer—but somehow, where Kai was concerned, it seemed fitting as she'd accidentally slotted him into a similarly brutal situation. Also she wasn't thrilled at the prospect of him running off to contribute to his overloaded body count. She wanted no one else to get hurt tonight.

Like a man in a dream, Kai watched her pick up a shard of glass from the debris on the floor. He could see the struggle on her face, all plain and vivid – imagining the pain and coaxing herself to do this. It split his attitude in two: the anticipation of her scent hitting him with new force made his mouth water but it also made him nauseous. What was it, the last test? To contribute to the monster image? Or she actually had a plan to end him by luring him into a trap she was sure he wouldn't escape?

"If you're going to be feeding from anyone," Bonnie said resolutely, running the piece of glass across the smooth untouched flesh between neck and shoulder, "it's going to be me." She observed him gape at her, looking shaken to the core by the blood and at the same time like a lethal animal fighting the urge to pounce its prey.

His breath catching, Kai couldn't resist looking at the gash, at the blood welling up and trickling teasingly over her collarbone and down her cleavage, soaking the blouse. The itching in his gums became unbearable, his lips pulling back in a half snarl of hunger and dismay. The room around him swayed as if in a slow dance while he found himself transfixed. Her pulse invaded his head, beat in his temples, her blood flushed in his ears, calling out to him, pulling – as though she had a leash around his neck and tugged at it. A cramp gripped his solar plexus, making him wince, and actually jerking him awake from the trance. He staggered back, tearing his eyes from the wound to glare at her. "What the hell do you want from me?" he screamed, fury sizzling in his veins like ignited gunpowder. "You want me to kill you? Or do you want more proof of what a rabid beast I am?"

'Neither', she opened her mouth to say, but within an instant, he was on her, and her back hit the wall as Kai pinned her to it, his hand wrapped around her throat. Her hands automatically clutched on his wrist, fingers digging. Her eyes were wide with surprise and fright. Her nerves dispersed temporarily, and fear yet again wormed its way into her belly like an unwelcome acquaintance.

Hunger wrenched Kai's innards, but he paid it no mind. "I'm not your typical vampire, Bonbon," he uttered in a deceptively soothing tone, their faces so close to each other their breaths mingled. "I'm nothing typical, if you think about it. But you can still get what you want. You wanna die?" He gave a small, mad-hatter chuckle. "Need I remind you what that would mean with my blood in your system? Ah, Bon. You might make such a hot vampire… Oh, and what if that was my plan all along…"

Terror rushed in on Bonnie like tempered water, threatening to drown her, drawing a muffled sob from her lips, a sound she hardly recognized.

Kai donned a mock amiable expression, taking in how fear broke the barriers and whooshed into her, making her pulse race and her pupils dilate. "Because what would be the worst thing to happen to a witch if not losing her powers in favor of becoming a supernatural parasite… right?"

"If you were that hard up for my blood you'd have tasted it by now," Bonnie responded before she could think to tapper down the anxiety and anger vying through her, her eyes meeting his resentfully. "You're trying to scare me." She removed the bloodied hand she'd used to cut herself, hoping to prove a point as she brought it against his cheek, cupping it with deceptive tenderness befitting of a lover.

Kai felt a thrill run through him at her touch, and at the same time, his wrath that had been boiling and steaming started to grow cold, allowing calculation. He searched her face and read pretense in big, bold letters. And hated himself for yearning she meant it.

"You're trying to push me away so you don't rip my throat. I may not know you as well as you know me. But I do know one thing… and that is that you're a remarkable liar," she stated, surprised her voice wasn't shaking and that she sounded far calmer than she felt on the inside. "I fell for it once," she removed the restraining hand from his wrist, allowing him the chance to snap her neck if he wanted, instead taking a hold of his suit's jacket in attempt to draw him closer. "I'm not falling for it again."

Kai looked at her with a surprised adoration, a subtle smile playing over his mouth. "Oh, look at all that open-hearted trust! I'm awestruck here, Bons. Except…" He slowly leaned in to her ear – the aroma of her blood almost unbearably tempting and eliciting another bout of hunger to bite him on the inside – and whispered, "you're a little too late to grant it." As slowly, he pulled away to his previous position to read her face hovering so close to his. There was some unspoken conversation flowing between them like a current. And he sensed her fear swell a little more. "Had you gifted me with that trust when I needed it so damn much – it'd all be different. But now, Bon – now…" He trailed off as though there was suddenly something important to contemplate. "You know, I'd think I'd be exploding by now with all the frustration and hatred – oh, you really made me mad with hate and rage… I wasn't sure which it was most. But now… it's like you reached out and switched it off in me. There's… nothing." He gave a short amazed laugh and looked at her as if dumbstruck. "I think you finally finished him – that Kai who nearly died on your birthday while trying to help you, the Kai I became before you dumped me in that hellhole with Lily's heretics. And that means, little Bonster, you're in real trouble." He was smiling again, whereas she looked more worried by the second. It was good. The balm he sought to ease his soreness. "I can turn you any time – unless you end me first, of course – I've never dismissed how tough you are." He laughed softly. "I always believed in you, Bon, unlike you in me. Anywho… I think there is a sharper edge to vengeance when I can just let you live and continue to kill in your name." He looked at her ingratiatingly, assuming the same kind of tone to accompany it. "Every person I feed on from here on will die because of your choice to deny me the chance I asked for when I did. And there's no lie in it, either: I truly wouldn't be here right now the way I am if not for the choices and decisions you made. I could even do better and bind each of my victims to you and you would feel every death, up close and personal. Oh no, not physical pain – I believe you've had enough of that to last you for eternity. But we both know physical pain is not the worst kind." He unwrapped his fingers from her neck and took his hand away, holding her eyes with his and smiling a little.

A groan reached them and a few glass shards shifted against the dusty wooden boards. Damon started to come to his senses.

Bonnie's head snapped to the sound, and when she looked back, Kai wasn't there, anymore. Only a faint gust of wind kissed her face in the wake of his departure. 

* * *

 

Kai stood at the red Jeep, peeking into the trunk through the window that needed washing for a week or two. Jo's face seemed so beautiful and peaceful through the blue of the gauze veil Alaric covered her with. Like the Sleeping Beauty. Only her sleep was eternal and would certainly begin to ruin her beauty in a few days. A small pang, like a drowning swimmer too weak to fight the current any longer, made itself known with a last splash in Kai's chest, then gave up and went down under.

There was a grunt; a heartbeat picked up a notch.

Kai walked along the side of the Jeep and squatted beside Alaric's sprawled form. His useless handgun lay a couple of feet away, glistening in the electric decorative lights, as if taunting. He wasn't fully awake yet, and Kai didn't need him to be. He leaned over his never-to-be brother-in-law. "God, you're a bit slow today, buddy. I didn't even hit you that hard… But whatever. We might still have a score to settle there, Ric. When you're ready, you know where I'll be. I believe you'll find me. Find me, Ric. Jo's waiting for you. Don't make her wait too long." He got up and ghosted away into the night that grew deafeningly quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be so kind as to leave a review.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Oh, look at all that open-hearted trust! I'm awestruck here, Bons. Except…"_ Kai leaned in, Bonnie's hand falling away from his face and between their bodies; she stiffened as his breath played against her earlobe.

Bonnie sensed—before he even spoke—that her gentler tactic failed to hit its mark.

_"You're a little too late to grant it."_

She refused to wholly give into the fear and sorrow progressively bubbling to the surface. Going from feeling full-fledged loathing to unspeakable regret and wishing she hadn't followed through with the spur of the moment revenge Damon presented to her a couple of weeks ago. Bonnie knew he'd been manipulating her, saying what she needed to hear to get what he wanted—same as she'd ultimately done to Kai—but at the time she'd been too consumed with her fears.

None of which healed or faded even after she abandoned him in nineteen-o-three; in fact, it had only gotten worse.

_"Had you gifted me with that trust when I needed it so damn much – it'd all be different. But now, Bon – now…" Kai said, trailing off to some extent, a look of contemplation creasing his brow. "You know, I'd think I'd be exploding by now with all the frustration and hatred – oh, you really made me mad with hate and rage… I wasn't sure which it was most. But now… it's like you reached out and switched it off in me. There's… nothing."_

For a second Bonnie was concerned he'd turned off his humanity and that any minute now that incredulous look in his eye would turn deadly. She'd witnessed it once tonight.

He laughed. "I think you finally finished him – that Kai who nearly died on your birthday while trying to help you, the Kai I became before you dumped me in that hellhole with Lily's heretics. And that means, little Bonster, you're in real trouble."

Damon had filled her in on the short point version of what had happened during their mock birthday party. Kai showed up uninvited with newfound feelings of guilt, they manipulated him into helping with the device, Liv murderously intervened, and things got messy and ultimately Jeremy was the one who'd saved Bonnie. Damon hadn't spared much of the small details and she hadn't asked.

What more was there to know? She no longer felt confident about her former assessment.

"I can turn you any time – unless you end me first, of course – I've never dismissed how tough you are."

Why the games? Why not do it already if that's what he wanted?

_"I always believed in you, Bon, unlike you in me. Anywho… I think there is a sharper edge to vengeance when I can just let you live and continue to kill in your name. Every person I feed on from here on will die because of your choice to deny me the chance I asked for when I did. And there's no lie in it, either: I truly wouldn't be here right now the way I am if not for the choices and decisions you made. I could even do better and bind each of my victims to you and you would feel every death, up close and personal. Oh no, not physical pain – I believe you've had enough of that to last you for eternity. But we both know physical pain is not the worst kind."_

A wave of dizziness momentarily overwhelmed her, more than capable of grasping the terrible picture he'd painted in her mind's eye and unable to accept that more people would pay for her selfish weakness. She wanted to plead he see reason while at the same time feeling as though the only thing to do was finish what she started – and not miss this time. Kai was beyond saving, he said so himself, and planned on going out of his way to prove it to her. In fact, if the bodies that littered the barn were of any gruesome indication, he'd already done so.

How many more people needed to die before she did something about it?

A recognizable groan filled her ears, cutting short her plans, and temporarily distracted her. She turned to look, trembling as the hand disappeared from her throat, replaced by that of a faint breeze.

When she looked back, Kai was gone.

Anticipation kicked in as Bonnie bent to pick up the improvised stake she'd dropped earlier, hardly sparing Damon a look as she charged for the door, intending to follow and, with a bit of luck, catch up to Kai before he got too far. She was barely outside a minute when she was sharply whirled around, the stake impulsively raised in defensive.

"Whoa, careful where you point that thing, pokey!" Damon nit-picked, wincing as the tip of the wooden chair leg brushed his stomach. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"It's the least you deserve," Bonnie jeered, yanking her arm free—which he'd allowed her to do—permitting her the chance to put distance between them. She didn't want to look at him.

"Bonnie," he said, using her full name, immediately recognizing that any former flatteries at this time would be lost on her. "About what—"

"Save it," she said, cutting short his apology, the crippling pain of desertion taking a hold of not only her heart but of her body, unable to hear anything but his gentle 'sorry' before he intended to have her die.

"Bonnie, please—" he retorted in an uncharacteristically pleading tone, his sparkling blue eyes locking upon hers. Damon very rarely gave into this façade. "I know what you must be thinking and feeling—"

"Do you?" she spat, narrowing her eyes to regard him a moment, wondering if he in fact knew her half as well as he thought he did. "Because what I'm feeling right now is hurt and inexplicable amounts of rage."

"I made a mistake. I misjudged Kai," he began, once more trying to cut through her heavy defenses. "I thought that maybe if he believed I'd given up on you, that I'd sneak up behind him and—"

"I nearly died," Bonnie tossed in for extra measure, sounding every bit as bitter as she felt.

"I'm sorry," he said, making her smile bitterly in response to how easy those apologies were coming to him now, looking as downtrodden as he had the day he'd tried to force Kai on her at the Rave.

"You're sorry?" she parroted, brushing off his remorse, strolling forward, and loathing that she was spending time quarreling with him when she should be searching for Kai. "Is that what you would have said at my funeral? Is that what you would have told Elena while she was firmly nestled in your arms at night? That you're sorry? And that when you had the opportunity to help me, to put an end to my excruciating pain you instead chose to play games with my life?" Damon hadn't listened when she told him she didn't want to be a part of his nineteen-o-three debacle with his mother and nor had he cared about her when he handed the device to Lily. He needed Bonnie then, he needed her in nineteen-ninety-four and now – now Damon simply didn't know what to do, and who to choose. Bonnie knew it probably wasn't his aim to have her die and that he probably hadn't entertained the idea of Kai's retaliation, but she couldn't help but be bitter at the thought of the giant 'what if' floating about between them. "Just go," she said, waving Damon off, heading down the side of the hill toward the cars parked in the distance. "I can take it from here. You should be with Elena."

"Team Blondie and Broody has it covered."

"And you think they'll be enough? What if Kai backtracks to the hospital?"

Damon seemed to contemplate this for a second, his hands balling into instinctive fists. "It seems too obvious and unlike his scheming neck snapping style. Besides, there is no way I am leaving you here while you're running around looking and smelling like buffy the blood-stained buffet."

"If he wanted to kill me, he'd have done it by now," Bonnie said in disagreement, sounding deceptively indifferent.

Damon didn't look convinced. "He wants to kill everybody! That's the point!" he retorted with exasperation, staring at the Bennett girl as though she'd missed the biggest clue and like she was deliberately trying to be pig-headed.

She inhaled deeply, taking wider strides to put a little more distance between them, fighting the urge to run, almost wanting to snap Damon's neck for the sake of getting him to leave her alone like he originally planned.

A distant groaning caught her attention. Damon's expression having changed before he dashed away, leaving Bonnie's heart to plummet into her shoes and her to give chase.

When she caught up, he was crouched beside a broken Alaric, the former history teacher, cradling his head, blood seeping from the wound above Alaric's eye. "Ric! You okay, man? How many fingers am I holding up?"

Alaric stared at his best friend as though he didn't even see him, looking glassy-eyed and distant. He shoved Damon's hands away, his features contorted into a hateful grimace as he looked up at Bonnie.

She crouched beside Ric, cautiously checking the wound with one hand, searching his neck for any signs of vampire teeth, and helped him to his feet, ignoring the way he'd jerked himself away from her once standing.

"I thought you said they couldn't get back here," he stated after a prolonged silence, addressing her first, his eyes gradually yet accusingly darting to Damon. "I thought you said we were safe. That you had this covered."

"I'm so sorry," Bonnie said, feeling the ache of his loss in her heart, further contributing to the pain already there.

Alaric chuckled, a hollow laugh devoid of even a hint of humor. He dropped his gaze, searching for something, and then staggered over to what Bonnie acknowledged was a handgun. He reached down to pick up it up, holding onto the nearby Jeep to keep from falling on his face. He checked it, tossing aside the empty clip and smoothly replaced it with a new one he'd retrieved from the inside of his car.

He'd never scared Bonnie more.

"I know you're suffering right now, that you're angry, but it's not her fault," Damon said, standing up for Bonnie, trying to assess the situation, sensing his friend was losing it. "None of us could have predicted he'd get out."

"Jo did," Alaric interjected as though talking to himself, his voice low, almost unheard by either of them. "She never said so, but a part of her feared that he would, that he'd come for her, for our unborn children."

Bonnie's heart sank as she, too, dreaded that very thing, especially with Lily Salvatore so adamant on returning to nineteen-o-three to collect her out of control family. Bonnie knew she'd set Kai free.

"Bonnie destroyed the ascendant to make sure he couldn't," Damon explained, putting stress on the word destroyed. "It wasn't possible. It shouldn't have been possible."

Bonnie didn't know what to say to that, didn't know how to justify what happened when she'd been having recurring nightmares of his return since the day she'd left Kai to rot in that prison world.

"You're right," Alaric murmured, no longer sounding like himself. He turned the gun on them, squeezing the trigger.

Bonnie gasped and Damon jerked, a sound of pain spilling from his lips before either of them could comprehend what Ric had done. Bonnie's eyes were wide, round and fearful.

"It's your fault," Ric declared, accentuating the accusation with another bullet.

Damon dropped to his knees, his hands clutching his stomach in shock.

"If you'd left Isobel alone I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have come to Mystic Falls in search of you," Alaric hissed, tears streaming down his drawn face. He lowered his arm before Bonnie could think to intervene, ignoring the sounds of agony coming from Damon, the blood pouring from his mouth. "You wouldn't have died and I wouldn't have lost another woman that I love because of you! First Isobel, then Jenna... and now—" Alaric reached into his car, pocketed something and shut the passenger's door. "I'm going to make sure that son of a bitch doesn't see sunrise."

Bonnie ignored Damon, rushing after Alaric, making a grab for his suit jacket to forestall his suicide mission, only to have him turn on her, the gun's muzzle suddenly pressed beneath her chin.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bonnie. But I will," he said, applying more pressure, a soft sound of discomfort slipping from her lips as the piece of wood she'd been carrying clattered to the ground.

"Jo wouldn't want you to do this," she replied, feeling tears well in her eyes once more. "She wouldn't want you to throw your life away like this."

"Maybe not," he said, swallowing thickly, sounding by no means swayed by her pleading. "But… after what he's done, after the people lost… she'd want me to end it. She'd want me to kill him."

"You're going to get yourself killed," Bonnie stated, already envisioning it, knowing that as things were headed Kai probably wouldn't hesitate to kill him. Which made her wonder why he hadn't done it yet.

"And then…" Ric began, lowering his weapon for all of a second, suddenly bringing it against the side of Bonnie's temple, carelessly shoving her out of the way to the ground, "it'll be over."

She dropped to her knees, dazed, as he scrambled away from her, determinedly strolling around the side of the car to get into it. He wasted no time starting the engine and pulling away from the gravel parking.

Bonnie forced herself to focus on the back of his truck, ignoring the drumming in her achy head, extending a hand before her. "Phasmatus ruptis!" she hissed, the car's wheels abruptly popping like four balloons, forcing it to veer to the left and through the nearby wooden fencing. She saw the driver's door swing open and then Alaric appeared at the back of the car, staring at her a moment—angry, she supposed—before turning to regard the car's cabbie window. He didn't look back and, before she knew, he took off on foot, dashing into the forest.

Where was he going? God alone only knew. But something told Bonnie there was a part of the conversation that Damon and she were missing and that there was a reason Kai hadn't straight-out killed him.

"And to think that this night started off on a high note," Damon grated, coughing, sounding in pain.

She turned back to look at him, allowing her gaze to fall to his belly where he was digging around with his fingers as if looking for hidden treasure.

"Ugh, I hate getting shot," he groaned, gritting his teeth, his hands trembling as he removed them, peering up at her with a mixture of irritation and mild pleading. "Mind giving an old friend a hand?"

She wanted to make some spiteful comment, to rub in how much it must hurt and remind Damon of the condition he'd left her in, but there wasn't time. Not only they were hunting Kai, but Alaric, too, and time wasn't on their side and unfortunately, the fastest way to do that was with Damon's bloodhound of a nose. She said nothing in relation to his comment, feeling surprisingly better as she dropped to her knees beside Damon. She guessed Kai's blood was still doing the trick. She ripped Damon's shirt away, dipping first one finger into the wound, forcing it wider, trying to grab a hold of the lead with her nail, indifferent to his sounds of agony.

"Grab it already!" he snarled, his hand swiftly latching out to clamp around her wrist, averting any further digging, drawing a startled gasp from her lips. What was it with these men trying to manhandle her?

"Stop being a baby. I'm trying to help you," she snapped, glaring.

"Is that what you're doing?" he asked, looking in no way like he believed her.

"It's too slippery."

"Argh," he moaned, forcing himself to let go of her hand. "Just do something. Please—"

Something cold wrapped around her heart, squeezing, reminding her of how she'd begged for herself and how he'd denied her. How easy—if only for appearance's sake—he made it look to walk away. She removed her finger from the wound, closing her eyes, feeling a breeze pick up around her, and then spoke, "Vitas phasmatis ferro venire ad me." Immediately the two bullets shot from his abdomen, making Damon cry out in shocked pain, his eyes rolling in his head as though he were on the verge of passing out. They floated over him an instant and then dropped. His face white from the pain he'd experienced. Bonnie pushed aside the touch of guilt that writhed its way into her and stood, going in search of her stake again.

"I asked for that," he grumbled, refraining from complaining like he wanted to.

"You did," she retorted, not at all smiling as she started across the gravel parking lot to wonder into the forest. "Enough dawdling. We need to find Alaric."

"Dawdling? I was shot," Damon pointed out, making sure she didn't mistake his pain for laziness.

"Let's go! Also, you might want to call Stefan and update him on what's happened. Let him know Kai is still running around and that he should be on the lookout."

Damon nodded, produced his phone and did just that.


	6. Chapter 6

It was so dark and quiet in the Boardinghouse it felt like a crypt. And perhaps it was what it was, exactly, for its inhabitants – the crypt of their hopes and dreams for better lives and happy endings.

Happy ending…

Kai chuckled, strolling down the basement corridor, and reflected that this whole 'happy ending' bullshit was nothing but that: bullshit. There was no such thing: it had been proven to him many times, and he had been the one to prove it to others. No such thing, he thought grimly, observing the trail of blood that belonged to Bonnie. It had almost dried out, but still held her scent. He winced, suddenly angered at how she ingrained herself in him, how she knew that she did, and how she went ahead and used it, attempting to manipulate him and thinking she was so smart and so safe while doing it.

He discarded his bloody costume on Damon's bed, piece by piece, as he pulled on one of Damon's tee-shirts and black jeans. He curved his mouth in a slow smile and whispered, "Phasmatos incendia."

The flames surged up like a hungry tiger leaping, then sprawled across the sheets and covers and pillows, leaking on the wooden posts and headrest.

Smiling, Kai strolled out and away from the Salvatores' mansion.

* * *

 

"Ew, again? I thought you quit? You promised you'd quit." She slapped the guy's arm, scowling, as though that scowl alone would dip him in terror of losing the one and only love of his life if he was to light that cigarette.

He did, smiling as he did so.

She glared. "You're disgusting. Don't bother coming in until you stop stinking." Her heels click-clacked towards the porch, up the three stairs and to the door, then inside. The door slammed shut hard, relaying the indignation and a promise of reprisals for the disobedience.

The guy laughed quietly, drawing deep on the cigarette, exhaling smoke. One moment, he was leaning against his Chevy, and the next, he was gone.

"Smoking is bad for your health and smell, but I do like the rebel spirit," Kai shared, throwing him on the ground behind someone's garage.

The guy grunted in pain, tried to get up while starting to ask what the fuck that moron was doing and could not. His windpipe – a wide subway tunnel – was abruptly reduced to a pinhole as he floated up into the air directed by Kai's hand, his legs jerking in futile attempts to find a footing. He was scratching at his throat as if to pry the invisible cord away, his eyes bulging with horrified inquiry. He had lost his cigarette somewhere between his Chevy and this garage, but the smell still clung to him.

"You won't be the best drink I've ever had, but you'll do for now," Kai told him, held out another hand, and the guy's denim jacket hung over it. "Not to get messy," Kai explained, dropping it on the lawn, then drew him closer.

The guy wheezed, jerking, his pulse skyrocketed in fright. When Kai yanked his head to the side and bared his teeth, his eyes rolled wildly in their sockets like a horse spotting a snake on the road, and his bladder let go.

Kai grimaced, "Gee, could you be more gross?"

"What th—what the—what…" the guy sputtered.

"Phasmatos attexo," Kai said, and smiled as he added, "Bonnie Bennett says hi."

"Wha—" the guy began again, but the rest of the question drowned in a gurgle as Kai fed.

And while he did, he sensed her as if she were standing next to him, partaking in the feast in spirit. Partaking in every teardrop of fear the nameless guy felt before his heart gave up with no more blood to pump. Kai licked his lips clean, shrugging the denim jacket on, then surveyed the body. "Phasmatos incendia." The orange light reflected in his eyes and flickered across the teeth his smile showed before he turned away and left.

* * *

 

Damon walked ahead of Bonnie, his eyes and nose fixed ahead, sniffing and seeking in turn, hoping to stumble upon his friend soon, disappointed by how much of a head start they'd given Alaric.

"Where could he be going?" Bonnie asked with an inkling of frustration, unable to make out a damn thing in the pitch black of night, relying solely on Damon and his nose to get them there.

"Beats me, Bonnie. I'm not the witch here. Can't you do some supernatural nosedive into his brain and start digging?"

"In order for that to happen, I would firstly need something of his, secondly we would have to stop and thirdly, we don't have the time!"

Damon said nothing, sensing how irritated she was becoming, and chose to chew his tongue this once.

Bonnie stumbled slightly as a rush of fear overcame her, her heartrate picking up all at once; she extended a hand to steady herself upon a tree.

Damon's boots crunched on leaves and debris with every step, unintentionally pulling ahead her as he concentrated on finding his friend.

She inhaled deeply, shaken to the core by the familiar and yet strangely foreign emotion, tears spilling down her cheeks unchecked when it was over. She didn't need to see what had happened to know that Kai had kept his promise and was another step closer to trying to break her. To punish her for her treachery.

"Hey!" Damon asked, suddenly appearing beside her. "What happened?"

"I tripped. I think I might have twisted my ankle."

"Can you walk?" he asked, too distracted to remember the blood in her system.

"Yeah. I'm fine—" Bonnie stated, forcing her tone to sound steady. "Don't worry about me. Just… go."

She couldn't see his face but she sensed his hesitation for a second, knowing he wanted to argue with her. "Yeah. Not going to happen," he said, scooping her into his arms before she could think to tell him to let go of her, making quick work of reclosing the distance he'd made, setting her back on her feet only once he was sure they were headed in the right direction.

* * *

 

A small laugh escaped Kai as he turned to face his stalker. "Oh, look at you – not as speedy these days, are you? I thought you'd never catch up, the way you were huffing and puffing for a mile."

Tyler snarled, his eyes assuming the yellow glint of those of a wolf, reflecting the light of the moon hovering over the treetops above them. He made to lunge at Kai, but there was a loud snap as though someone broke a thick branch over a knee, and he fell on the ground with a wail of pain.

Kai displayed a mock sympathy. "Aw, that's nasty. Though I do respect your resolution to finish our feud despite how bad a day you're having – it's practically 'that day of the month' for you." He laughed. "Funny. But anyhow, we do have an account to settle, I reckon. That in my little sister's name. Gee, those are multiplying – I've got another one of those penciled down for later tonight. Those naughty sisters…"

Another bone snapped, then another. Tyler rolled, screaming; fallen leaves and branches crunching beneath him, too loud to Kai's new vampire hearing. It was as if someone was dancing on the dry chicken bones scattered on the floor within his skull.

Kai heaved an exaggerated sigh, observing Tyler's body torture itself. "That's taking so damn long, pal. I've got a date I'm almost late for."

The werewolf's grunt of pain morphed into a growl as he suddenly leapt at Kai.

Kai dashed to the side the last second, and Tyler collided with a tree, pushing off it to jump the opponent again, his teeth now looking sharper. That one Kai failed to avoid, and they tumbled in a fighting heap. Tyler's jaws snapped a hair shy of Kai's throat before Kai sent him flying backwards with the Motus spell. He found his feet the same instant, and witnessed Lockwood bouncing off another tree trunk. Tyler yapped at the hit, but was up right away, more furious than ever.

Kai caught him in a magical grip as Tyler lunged himself into the air, and kept him suspended, smiling at his momentarily baffled look. "Yeah, no, you can't do that to me again. See, Fool me once… and all that. Not gonna give you the second time. Not today." His fingers wiggled slowly, as if beckoning, then bent a little like claws.

Tyler grunted and gave a strangled groan that came out half like a gurgle as blood spurted from his mouth, then ears and corners of his eyes. The trickles were detaching from his face, being drawn from it as though by an invisible magnet, and gathered in a growing, shifting sphere in front of him. More seeped from the front of his shirt, oozing from every pore of his thrashing body and adding to the liquid sphere. His eyes were bulging, as if he couldn't believe it was being done to him and it wasn't a dream he could wake from.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Kai said, a friendly smile taking over his mouth when he looked at Tyler from the sphere of his blood turning in front of Lockwood's chest like a ball of liquid silk, its sides rippling smoothly as new drops added on. "It's what magic is: beauty. And life. It's the live force even when it brings death… But there is no actual death, did you know that? Energy can't just die, or disappear forever. It can only take another form. So let it be your solace, Tyler, for that little clot of energy that you are cannot utterly cease to exist. Poetic, to say the least. And true, to say it all the way it is."

Tyler managed a quiet sound that suggested he either disagreed or didn't have it in him to react properly any longer.

Kai flexed his fingers, speeding it up a tad, and thought of Bonnie, wondering if she had felt any of it tingling the ethereal link they had between them.

Tyler's eyes rolled up showing whites. Even in the moonlight, Kai saw his skin pale and turning greyish, veins standing out in darker color like rivers on a map. His heartbeat slowed to impossible where no human would register any. Then, Kai let him drop.

He gazed at the blood sphere for a second longer, then let it lower and gently spill, soaking the ground at Tyler's still feet. Surely, that amount would bring here any vampire in the vicinity. Kai could think of one, at least, who would probably happen by. Unless the mansion burned brighter than Kai anticipated. "I'm sure you weren't tasty enough to try," he told Tyler's cooling body and hurried away into the forest.

With the silver dollar of a moon hanging in the sky, so brightly white and round, the cemetery looked like one should in the best tradition of the classic horror movies, be it vampires or werewolves to star in them. Kai walked past the Gilberts' stones and into the dark maw of the crypt. If he were human, he reflected, it would be so quiet in here as if the world outside had ended. But it wasn't now. A thin lace of subtle noises, shuffles, whispers and rustles hung around, vibrant, and he found himself lulled by it for a clockless moment until the shuffling sounds from the forest yanked him back to reality.

A figure trudged, wavering, between the trees, like a drunkard on his way from the bar. Something glistened silvery in his hand; his half-undone tie rocking on his chest like a clock's pendulum measuring his last minutes.

Kai watched, smiling, and when the man was approaching the low fence surrounding the crypt, he walked out of its mouth. "Took you long enough, and I thought I'd be late. Your buddy Tyler ate a few minutes of our time."

Ric stopped, rocked on his feet a little as if trying not to fall – Kai suspected he nearly did – and looked at Parker like someone would when trying to recognize a person they didn't see for some decent amount of years. "What did you do to him?" he asked finally in a listless tone.

"Nothing I regret." Kai looked at the gun in Ric's hand and chortled softly. "Look at you, the hero of the west. Yul Brynner, however, is a tough act to follow."

Alaric raised the gun, aiming at Kai's head, but three first shots hit the stony arc of the crypt entrance before he stopped to reassess, and his wandering eyes of a very intoxicated man found Kai leaning against the high tombstone Damon and he had chained him to some weeks ago. Slowly, like moving under water, Ric raised and aimed and shot.

Kai grabbed him by the nape of his neck from behind, his other hand squeezing Ric's wrist and crushing the bones in it. Ric cried out; the gun dropped and bounced a little off the tip of his shoe. His good hand made a grab for Kai's tightening on his sore other, but Kai jerked his arm behind his back. Alaric gave another cry as his shoulder clicked, dislocating. "What are you waiting for?" he asked breathlessly. "Finish it."

"Yeah, so easy it's disappointing, in a way," Kai mused. "But I don't feel like dancing here with you all night under the stars and ripe moon. So, sure, I'll send you to Jo right away."

"You killed her for nothing, you freak," Ric uttered between his teeth. "She's not your damn father. She was done with your damn coven for good."

"Oh no," Kai laughed, "one cannot be done with our damn coven until one dies. And she wasn't an angel to me, either, Ric. All these years in the prison, her little parting smile of triumph haunted my dreams. Those years were long and many, so I was kinda bitter to begin with. And when your merry band of friends landed me in yet another prison, I kinda started wondering if she was involved. And even if she wasn't, I believe she was inappropriately happy I was locked away again. So yes, Ric, even if I was gonna be more lenient after she gave me her magic and we made nice, that little merry band I mentioned has ruined that to hell. I hope you had your chance to file that complaint to them, because after a few minutes you won't be worrying about this earthly crap." Kai murmured the link spell, tipped Saltzman's head sideways harshly and tucked into the side of his neck.


	7. Chapter 7

"He couldn't have gotten that far from us," Bonnie groused, frightened for the history teacher and feeling helpless. Alaric wasn't thinking straight and Kai was able to move from one place to the next in seconds, like Damon, like any vampire. "We should have caught up by now."

"You forget he is a trained hunter," Damon stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and as if she should in some way feel embarrassed for forgetting. "If he doesn't want to be found. He won't be."

"And you forget that he lost the love of his life," Bonnie retorted, feeling the tension rise in the air. She didn't have to see his face to know she'd hit a sore subject. A matter she knew would be with them for as long as she continued to live and Damon was deprived of the love of _his_ life. "And that he is acting impulsively."

"You said it yourself, Bon-Bon. He lost the woman he loved, and right now, he has absolutely no ground to stand on. He hardly knows which way is up."

"That doesn't give him the right to go charging off into the unknown to get himself or anyone else killed," she said, aware of how hypocritical that sounded considering she'd been the one to start this.

"Maybe not," Damon agreed. "But for the few seconds your world is spinning out of control and you have no way in which to anchor yourself anymore. It helps."

Bonnie wished that was something Damon mentioned during his spellbinding speech some weeks back, while trying to recruit her for his mission and before she involuntarily assisted in the murder of a coven and her new friend.

"So much for my niffler theory," she muttered, removing her phone from her pocket, tapping at the screen to bring up the torch app, hopeful that she would recognize and understand where he was heading herself.

"A… what now?"

"A treasure seeking—whatever, look, shouldn't you be able to pick up on his cologne or something?"

"It's not that simple."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Kai's been busy. This place is saturated in blood from every approach and to a vampire—even one as controlled as me—that can be a little overwhelming."

How long had they been walking anyway? Ten minutes? Fifteen? It felt like forever and that lingering fear still swept through her, increasing as soon, it seemed, as she put my mind to it. She stiffened, feeling a rush of anxiety close around her heart, prominent distress taking a hold of her being like a puppet master pulling at unwilling strings, it wasn't as bad as the first course, but it was perceptible.

Damon, too, seemed to pick up on something, his face unseen in the dark as he stared ahead, his arms suddenly wrapping around her, unaware of her inner turmoil as he picked her up and raced through the forest. There was nothing to do but hold on and make sure she didn't drop her phone.

When he set her down on her feet she immediately registered the human shaped lump and rushed toward it, raising her phone to help make out what the moon and the trees overhead hadn't allowed her to fully see. "Oh god, Tyler," Bonnie whispered as soon as she saw who it was, his face gray and streaked with similar lines she'd seen on a desiccated vampire. How was that even possible? He'd only recently transitioned back to wolf.

"Looks like Lockwood Junior finally bit off more than he could chew," Damon remarked indiscreetly.

"Damon," she barked, glowering at him, imploring him to focus, two fingers automatically attempting to find a pulse, and failing. "Oh, God," she murmured in horrified disbelieve, her heart thumping in her chest erratically, nausea pulsing its way up her throat threatening to steal her breath. "I can't find a pulse. Damon… I can't-," her voice cracking, unable to voice aloud what her head was screaming, 'He's dead!' She and Tyler might not have been best friends, but they grew up together, played sports together, and had been a part of each other's lives since they were six years old.

"It's there," Damon responded and crouched on the other side of our fallen ally, biting into his wrist, prying open his mouth to force the blood down his throat. "His heartbeat," he clarified. "But it's faint."

She kept a hold on Tyler, briefly wondering if it had been him she felt a few moments ago or if this was an unhappy coincidence.

If it was, that meant Kai was still close by, right? That this was recent?

Bonnie blinked the tears from her eyes and distractedly noticed the dissimilarities in color upon the ground, an unsettling feeling taking a hold of her as she raised her phone to take a better look, her eyes widening at the sight of the blood she was kneeling in. She shot up like a bullet, as if stung, and gasped at the grotesque picture before her. Tears coursed down her cheeks unchecked.

Damon pulled his wrist free and glanced over at her for a second, still tending to Tyler, taking over where she'd started and waiting for the magical lifesaver to do its job.

"Where are we?" Bonnie asked, hoping they were closer to having a response.

"Nearer the cemetery," Damon answered without hesitation, having been in this area enough over the last few months to know.

"Are you sure?"

"Niffler nose, remember?"

She nodded, trusting Damon to be right, and wasted no time calling Caroline, hating the feeling of Tyler's blood soaked into her pants, sticking to her knees in dreadful reminder of what happened. She felt uncomfortable.

"Bonnie?" Caroline answered, sounding nothing like herself, as though she feared to hear someone else on the other side of the line.

"It's me."

"Oh, thank God! Are you alright?"

"No," Bonnie answered, feeling no need to hide from her.

"Are you hurt?! Stefan said you went after Kai. Why didn't you tell me?!"

"No. I'm okay. I'm fine—I mean physically. Caroline—it's Tyler."

"Tyler?" she echoed, sounding alarmed and confused all at the prospect of what Bonnie might tell her.

Bonnie knew that their relationship—at least romantically—was over, but they were good friends. They meant something to one another, the same way Jeremy would always mean something to her.

"Is he—"

"No," Bonnie responded. "I don't know—Damon gave him of his blood, but—"

There was a sob from across the line and I heard Stefan mutter something supportive, offering to take the phone from her. She refused.

"You need to come get him. Alaric's gone Rambo rampage and Damon as I are trying to get up to him."

Damon stood as though in reaction to the mention of his name. Three shots ringing out in succession.

"Okay," Caroline said, sounding more determined. Bonnie could already hear her walking, her footsteps echoing off the hospital tiles, along with raised voices here and there in the background.

"Bonnie!" Damon said in a rush, gesturing sidelong into the distance, taking off without her.

Bonnie detested that she needed to leave Tyler unattended and prayed the blood would kick in. "We're in the forest near the cemetery. Hurry! He won't be too hard to find, but be careful, Caroline and do me a favor," she said, sounding out of breath as she ran after Damon.

"Anything."

"Don't stick around! Take him and go!" She hung up, grunting as the blood slicked to her boots sent her sailing off balance and crashing to the ground. She yelped as her knees connected with an unseen stone, the phone slipping from her hand, temporarily lost beneath a pile of fallen and broken leaves. She knew it would bruise instantly—or might have—if not still for the blood in her system. She drew in a breath, forcing herself up again, shaking out the pain, and collected her phone, using the light to navigate the way, her stomach promptly filling with a sinking feeling, one she instantly recognized as being artificially induced.

Kai was attacking again. 

* * *

 

Damon found the two without difficulty, a branch in his hands swung like a hefty baseball bat, effortlessly dislodging the psycho from his best friend's neck, sending him sailing across the uneven sand. Damon attempted to replace him, biting into his wrist and trying to press it to Alaric's slack mouth, scarcely wasting time to see if he was too late or if Kai managed to get to his feet again.

Kai was in no particular hurry and quite sated, so he drew it out a little, taking pleasure in the way Alaric's body still fought for life while his mind lowered its weapons and shields wishing for the torture to be over. His heart beat erratically against Kai's temples like a scared bird thrashing in a cage at a cat's approach. Kai pulled long, full gulps from his vein, still feeling he could use extra fuel tonight before the dark dissipated. Alaric's good old pump began to slow and stagger, and each convulsive contraction of it sent a jolt of energy through Kai's body, igniting the nerve endings as if in anticipation for a grander pleasure. Those last moments of their lives, Kai found, were the drug all vampires craved, the big finale with fireworks and exaltation.

There was a firecracker, all right, but not the one Kai was nearing. It exploded in the back of his head, and as the hit sent him flying into a tombstone, he saw some constellations that weren't supposed to exist. Pain shot through his bones and muscles as he propelled into the stone, momentarily blinding him; a bone crunched breaking in his shoulder. Propped on his fours, Kai jerked it straight, grunting, then found his feet and spent a second observing Damon cradle Ric in his arms, pressing his wrist to the pale man's lips.

Kai raised a hand and Damon floated up leisurely, like those warriors in Chinese movies before the attack. "You son of a bitch!" Salvatore spat, glaring, his limbs flailing as if he were trying to stay afloat in water. "Put me down and let's fight like men."

Kai laughed. "Yeah, I noticed you're the best at that specific way of fighting – like men – aka hitting from behind." He turned his wrist, and Damon cried out as his spine broke in three places.

On the ground, beneath Damon's flailing feet, Alaric groaned weakly.

"Now, what should I do to you?" Kai mused, eyeing the older Salvatore like he were an exotic butterfly pinned to a cardboard. He could hear Damon's spine heal – the tiny sounds that you might mistake for your own brain cells shifting around. It was like claiming you heard how the trees grew, but it was exactly the analogy to pop in his mind. He flicked his wrist again; Damon gave a strangled cry as something crunched and broke along his body. His legs hung like lifeless rags, his eyes rolling slowly, on the verge of passing out. Kai smiled. "Funny you all came here tonight – dying in the very place of your eternal rest has a certain ring to it. I like it. Too bad you can't compose a few lines about this beautiful moment like samurais did – not because you're in such pain, but because I honestly believe you don't possess enough brainpower or imagination to muster something like that. Shame. But one thing I can do for you: I can grant you the spectacular end of a samurai. You'll have it easier – in a way – I'll have to gut you myself whereas those brave fellas did it with their own swords and hands. And I shall be your kaishakunin to take your head off when you're done taking your noble torture." A slow smile of wicked diversion shimmered over his mouth as Kai pointed a finger at Damon and began shifting it sideways while Damon jerked and screamed.

His shirt darkened on his abdomen as a gash opened in his right side and crawled towards his left like a cracking grin spilling blood like a cut wine-skin. A first ribbon of intestines slithered out, like a bond of sausages from a torn pack, and hung in a lifeless loop over his crotch.


	8. Chapter 8

Bonnie kept low as she rushed past and through row after row of headstones, foolishly nursing the idea that Damon might have waiting for her, unable to sense in what direction to go and becoming frustrated with herself. An agony filled cry punctured the air, anguish, Bonnie acknowledged immediately, belonged to her former partner in crime. She reached around her waist to take hold of the improvised stake, assuming she'd tucked it into her back pocket, grimacing when she found it wasn't there. She couldn't remember when she last held it and resigned herself to the unfavorable fact that she'd dropped it when Damon zipped her from place to place.

"Too bad you can't compose a few lines about this beautiful moment like samurais did – not because you're in such pain, but because I honestly believe you don't possess enough brainpower or imagination to muster something like that," she heard Kai say, panic flitting through her.

Bonnie snuffed out the light on her phone and pocketed it, relying on the dim light provided by the moon, hoping his distraction would buy her a little time. She remained crouched—unlike she did earlier where she thought she could walk in and take control of the situation—this time was different, this time she wasn't going to play life's risk. She closed her eyes, diving deep into herself, ignoring Kai's yammering in the background and the screams that filled the air.

She _had_ to.

Wind picked up slightly, howling through the treetops like a caged beast seeking escape, ruffling her hair, temporarily thrusting her back to the time when she was determined to contact Qetsiyah, dealt with expression and searched for assistance to subdue Silas. A man, who, at mere thought alone, filled her with hatred so intense it took mere seconds to link Kai and her. Was that expression? Or simple magic? She didn't even know, but she felt it lock in, twisting and rooting itself in her soul and his like a perceptible chain that would prevent him from getting away from her a second time.

Kai's cut had crawled almost two thirds of its way across Damon's abdomen, the loops of his intestines slipped further down from the gaping wound. His screams turned into wheezes; his limbs trembling a little as though there was a low current running through his body disguised as pain. Kai could imagine how bad the pain was – it was one of the things he knew and wished to forget.

And then, he sensed it. A bashful dab like a lackadaisical breath of wind on the tight and thin strings of his inner sensors. _She is here. Bonnie made it here._

Kai found himself smiling. Somehow, it felt right, like a long and jumbled scheme suddenly clicked in place and everything finally fit. There was more to it: a feeling of being watched from the inside of his own head. As the wind picked up, shifting the dead leaves between the tombstones and trees, he knew she had done something to pay back his own trick. It made his smile wider, he didn't mind. It could only make things more interesting.

She stood, trying to catch her breath, trying to ignore the delicious hum of power that spread through her as the wind grew stronger, closing around the crypts delineated area like an invisible barrier. She emerged from hiding, her eyes widening slightly as they fixated on the scene ahead filling her with nausea that soon turned to ferocious hate. Bonnie rung her hands together, imitating snapping Damon's neck, making sure he would no longer have to undergo Kai's savage torture. "Motus!" she hissed, wasting no time in awaiting on a retaliation, sending Alaric skittering across the dirty ground and away from Kai as though he were a human puck being swatted by a giant hockey stick.

Saltzman stilled a dozen yards away, let out a meek groan and didn't move. Kai reckoned Damon hadn't managed to put enough blood in him for any effective healing to take place. Then again, Kai didn't really care. His eyes went to Bonnie who strolled towards him, wind playing with her hair, moonlight spilling over her figure, outlining her form and making her seem like the goddess Nemesis.

There could have been an adoring expression plastered on his face, Kai recognized, and didn't care to change it. A wave of his hand sent Damon's body flying; the vampire collided with a tree trunk and dropped at its roots, his guts clustered at his middle like dead snakes.

Bonnie steeled herself as Kai dismissed Damon, forcing herself to keep eye contact and not look where he landed. Kai was grinning too, like a sadistic fool.

"Bonster! Finally. I was starting to miss you – your friends are being a bunch of bores. So, what now?" Tipping his head sideways, Kai smiled a friendly smile. "Revise the old tricks or got something new? Or maybe you decided a set of fangs would suit you better than magic that never saves anyone the way you want it to, mm?"

"I've never been a fan of fangs. Especially in regards to my neck." Her lips twisted into a deceptive smile that matched his own, much like it had earlier in the evening, fading as abruptly.

Kai could see right through her smile, and it was the same as before – no, even more steel behind it, cold and distant.

He hurt her in return – and succeeded. His blows had found their aim, just like he wanted and knew they would. Somewhere behind that wall of steel she had built, there was the heated core of duty that brought her back to him. He was a bit curious, but his curiosity had hurt on its arm. It still nibbled at him that she would never see his side of the story, that she would always pick another side and deem him a reckless beast. And it still bothered him that he could never even begin to explain what exactly had made him this way. There were things that could not be explained, or put to words. They could only be experienced; and they could only twist you in unnatural ways and directions, many times over, until you believed it was what you really were.

"I think I'll take my chances with the magic," Bonnie said, giving way to tight voice, a hand clawing at the air, stealing away the breath she knew he had no need for, squeezing his windpipe to give weight to her answer. "All this practice with and _on_ you is positively helping bring up my average. Besides—" she flung him back against the nearest tree as if she'd shoved him, "—I'd love to know what you did to Tyler and how it's even possible to desiccate a werewolf."

Kai waved back, hitting a tree behind him so the remaining air whooshed out of his lungs. He made a swooping gesture, and she went down as though he swayed a leg under hers. Her magical grip loosened and Kai chortled, unnecessarily rubbing his throat as he made a few steps away from the tree trunk. "The marvelous thing is, I've no idea and yet I did it." He gave a laugh of a person that has finally flipped a pancake in the air without dropping it on the laminate instead of the pan.

Bonnie was scrambling to her feet, her face momentarily distorted with the small aches and bruises of the fall. That revelation frightened her. What else could Kai do? Would he be able to compel her? He was a witch, after all, and a huge contrast to Klaus—who was a mix of vampire and werewolf— she didn't want to find out.

"There are not too many ways to pacify a rabid dog, you know," Kai shared. "Funny thing about rabid dogs… Have you ever given it a thought? I did. You see, I've read that story once that I liked very much – Cujo by Stephen King. And it teaches you that rabid dogs don't consider themselves crazy – rather all the rest of the world starts to seem that way, a little too noisy, a little too nuts. So, if you ever – God forbid – find yourself cornered by a rabid dog, Bonsey, before you hate it, remember something: 'It would perhaps not be amiss to point out that he had always tried to be a good dog.'" Merriment seeping out of his countenance, Kai had her in his own clutch and suspended, the soles of her shoes a couple of inches short of the dust beneath. His fingers wiggled, and her chest tightened, allowing breaths too shallow for comfort.

_Oh, god, no!_ Bonnie made a bid to deflect his intention and felt her chest tighten with what she assumed to be anxiety, afraid of further repetition, a phantom pain running up her spine in preparation of what she believed was to come. That anxiety grew, revealing what she recognized was Kai similarly stealing her breath away as she had only done moments ago, merely playing games with her head and heart.

He canted his head to one side as if admiring a piece of art on his wall, and smiled a little. "And he tried, indeed. He might not have fully known what it was like – no dog ever knows until its shown the way and, most importantly, the encouragement to do the right thing – but he did try. It was a bit like groping your way through a dark room where no shadow makes sense before you find the light switch, but he did try. He wanted to try. And then he still got that damn rabies. Life's not fair, is it? It never fucking is. Or maybe, just for that godforsaken dog. In any case, he tried and then shit happened, and he could try no more."

"Phas—" Bonnie choked out in an inaudible whisper of panic, struggling to form the words needed to break his hold. She gasped softly at the gentle squeezing of her ribcage.

He approached her with leisure steps, tightening her sternum ever so slightly, and searching her face in the moonlight. "Take a good look, Bonnie Bennett, for before you stands what you have created. From the look in your eyes I take it you don't like what you see. Now, take a wild guess, why the Frankenstein monster killed its creator? I'm dead certain it's for that precise look in his eyes." His face twisted with a brief grimace of either disdain or pained dismissal, and he released her to slump.

Gravity promptly delivered her to her knees, giving her a few unforeseen seconds to try and expel the lingering sensations that still threatening to smother her. Bonnie unconsciously took his counsel, staring up at him, really looking at the person she allegedly created, and trying to gauge her next attack.

"You're not a Frankenstein," she retorted, glad her voice showed no signs of strain or fear or anything that might make her appear weak or as if she was trying to pacify him. "And nor are you a rabid dog infected by an incurable disease." Although, out of context, both equivalences made a lot of sense. "You're sick," she said, feeling the truth dawn on her amidst the reiteration of his heartfelt speech, by no means meaning offense or trying to sound spiteful. "I was alone for two months, maybe more and I couldn't hack it. You were alone for eighteen years. It eats away at your state of mind—it did mine. I'm still not sure I've recovered and at times I doubt I ever will," she deliberated, undaunted that he might scoff at her approach, explaining only what she'd shared with Damon and what even Damon didn't seem to comprehend. It was as if that connection they'd made—to some degree—was lost and she was alone again, floundering on the outs, trying to find her footing on a skyscraper ledge. "What you're doing now," she motioned to Damon who was still unconscious and probably would be until his intestines were returned to the inside of his body (or, at least, she hoped so), "what you did tonight, was a conscious choice. I never made you be this person, I never meant for you to be this person." And she still didn't. "You say you're the product of the people around you – well, so am I. Trust breeds trust. And this person," she gestured to his chest, "this is who I believed you were – the one that scared me so much the only way I could think to continue with MY life… was to get rid of him." She'd said it once tonight already, but she needed him to know she meant it and that he'd only further reinforced that thought. You couldn't turn your back on a pit bull and that you almost always got bit. Damon had done it multiple times in the past, and although she was her friend now, although she trusted him to a certain extent—she hadn't forgotten and never would. Damon, like Kai, was unpredictable and would stab you in the back—or front—with a smile, friend or foe. "You want to prove otherwise, you want me to see the light and go back to thinking you're just a good-looking guy with a very wordy vocabulary? Then do something about it – be better than me. Or…" she added, an invisible hand finding Kai's throat once more, the other used to immobilize him, drawing him forward slowly as though skating on ice and to his knees in front of her so that they were eye to eye. There was no malice in the action, only determination. And why now? Why suddenly she felt it important to see how badly she screwed up—or whether or not he was trying to play her—she didn't know.

Kai felt a hold tighten on his throat once again, and without even trying yet, he suddenly knew he couldn't move. She was pulling him towards her and down to his knees, and there they stood on the same eyelevel. She was scrutinizing his face – and there was wariness, a whole lot of it, while she tried to gauge whether or not he was going to lash out, but there was also something he'd craved to see back in the barn: she was no longer wearing the amicability camouflage while seeking a weak spot to hit from underneath it. She was being honest, or at least strived to be.

"I can just take a look in your head and see at what you've been so quick to tell me. But afraid to really show me." Bonnie released the pressure on his throat, as well as his limbs, and raised a hand, slowly leaning forward to brush her index and middle fingers against his temple, anticipating his attack or allowing for his permission. Something she knew would make or break how they moved on from here or whether or not one of them was really going to die tonight.

Things she said were thrumming in Kai like a thunderstorm over the ocean, waves clashing and crushing, lightning cutting through the dark and catching the tumult in blinding snapshots. It was near to impossible to snatch the emotions from the boiling stew to dissect. Indignation was there, he recognized vaguely. So was hurt, his ever loyal accomplice, and so was despair with its faint fragrance of decay. Amidst them, there was a tiny, dying firefly of hope he dared to pick up. He wasn't sure if it would live or he could as well smash it now to spare it misery.

Kai chuckled, like an alien trying to mimic it for the first time. "Trust is something out of this world for me, Bonnie. I might as well ask you to explain it to me at this point, but that'd be long – not for you to explain but for me to perceive." He shook his head with another meek chuckle, took her hand in his gingerly and drew it down from his temple, looking at her with a penetrating gaze.

Bonnie made no move to withdraw her hand, a show of acceptance and a temporary truce. His touch was gentle and deceptively different, and not in a way that was entirely unpleasant.

"Right now," he said, "I feel there's only been betrayal, because we always yearn for happy moments and yet tend to remember the sad. Isn't it twisted? No matter how bright a happy moment is and how deep it touches you, this memory will fade like an old picture while the tiniest embarrassment will haunt you for the rest of your life craving to become your obsession. I've had quite a few to compete for the obsession title, but somehow your back-stab stands out. I've figured my family out pretty early in my life, and I always expected a hit in the back with them, so they just merely confirmed it. But you – oh, you I had thought of differently. There was trust I put in you, but it bred your darkest dreams coming true – the very ones you said you were trying to end. Ironic, huh? Is this world really screwed up or what?" Kai gave another laugh he didn't really mean. They came like some unwitting physical reactions he no longer watched closely. "You say you didn't mean for me to turn into this – then tell me, Bonnie, what the fuck did you mean? Did you really want to kill me despite having Jo and the rest of us the Flintstones die? Or did you intend to trade your nightmares for mine? For it's exactly what it looked like, and guess what – you got me good."

Did she want to kill him at the time? Yes, yes and yes! Bonnie admitted as much twice tonight and might have done it a third time if he'd given her room to do so. She felt compelled to do so. Her grams used to tell her that it was wrong to run away from your problems and that eventually—no matter how long you thought you could hide—they'd come back and bite you in the bum. Bonnie was too weak to remember that, so consumed by everything and trying to reacquaint herself with the noisy world that she'd become selfish. She could admit that, too. But what did Jo have to do with it? Or the Flintstones? Or was that one of his many crypt references?

"You wonder what it was like to live in it?" he asked. "What I'm afraid to show? It was indeed like a dream you can't wake up from. At first, it's a wonder – the way all new things are. You poke around it and try to decipher, but later it gains new colors and those colors darken by the second with every drop of realization to seep in. And then you start wondering whether you'd be better off if you let the madness in – it's right there teetering on your threshold anyway."

Bonnie knew was he was talking about, she felt part of that madness when she stabbed him in the back and arranged to finish the job. It had been scarily overwhelming, an inexplicit high and like this dark abyss that sucked you in whole. Even now as she continued to meet his keen gaze and recalled that moment to memory, she couldn't imagine that that was her. It felt as if it were someone else, someone new, someone far feistier and determined to protect herself. It scared her and made her wonder when she lost herself and when the idea of murdering someone—no matter how immoral—became acceptable to her?

"And then you fear it," Kai continued, "because it's the scariest thing of all – even for a man stuck in his nightmare – to lose himself. Because, at that point, Bonnie, himself is the very sole and last thing the damn man has left. And then, after eons of the same torture with no hope of getting out, you decide oh fuck it and let it in, and guess what – it doesn't. Help. Squat. Madness is just not designed to soothe your sufferings. It adds a new edge to every picture, but the edges are sharp. And also, while you're testing its limits, it steals the very core that is you, grain by grain, until there's nothing but a stump you can't relate to. And then the hell really starts when there's no longer any ground under your feet and you're falling into an eternal rabbit hole with nothing to grab on to stall it. It all blurs into the same – just darkness, just pure, raw agony with nothing to make out and blame it on. And when there's nothing to grab on, you can't fix it. And then there was you." He put her hand on her lap when he became aware he was still holding it, and let go, releasing a shaky breath and partially hating himself for biting the bait and coming too close to the edge of the pit he tried his best to keep away from ever since he got out of the prison.

The longer Bonnie stared at him, the more she felt the gradual rising of guilt start to stir. Kai was no innocent, she knew that, she believed that wholeheartedly and he'd even gone so far as to prove it—more than once—but a part of her now understood it better, saw things from his perspective and could relate on a level that humanized him. How was he supposed to be good, to try and make things okay when people—like her, like his family—were unwilling to do so or at least give him the benefit of the doubt? She didn't want to hear it, not when Damon brought him to her and not when she met him in that diner, purposely ignoring every single sign that made her second-guess her intentions or what she might do, determined to believe that the merge was temporary and that when it changed, she'd be the first on his hit list. Bonnie guessed that was something she'd learned from Damon, Elijah and Klaus. They didn't respect weakness or civility and as soon as you showed them even the slightest hint – it was over, someone you loved paid the cost, and for once in her life, she wasn't going to leave things to chance.

She glanced down at her lap, curling her fingers into her palm, disconcerted by the sudden lack of warmth that spread throughout my body, and feeling as wrecked by his emotions as she was by her own.

Kai looked at her face again, no longer certain he had any feelings left – peeking in that pit exhausted them, sucked out their souls. "I bet you at least once wondered why I only revealed myself to you two after four months. Truth is I had to first backtrack to being human again – and boy, was that impossible. I watched you to remember what it was to be a human, how to interact with another human, and to build back what I had been before I was a void." Kai swallowed hard and drew a deep breath, forcing himself away from the ever hungry pit of darkness engraved into the floor of the main hall of his inner self. "Trust me, you don't want me to actually _show_ it all to you, because when you peek into the abyss, it peeks into you. You hurt me really bad, Bon, and a part of me thinks it's fair to plant the same pain in you that you chose to revive in me. So be careful what you ask for – you could get it."

She swallowed, shaken by the impact she—they—had on his life and how much of a shock it must have been for him. She could hear the pain of such an admittance in his voice, like he was afraid to be vulnerable again.

He rendered her speechless, making her reevaluate her desire to slide a decent amount of wood through his heart and end this story once and for all. His pain would be over and justice would be served. But at what cost and for whose gain? It wouldn't change anything. Jo would still be dead, Alaric's life would still be ruined and Bonnie'd still be trying to keep her head above water. Death wasn't the answer—not this time—and suddenly, in light of what he'd said and what she now understood, Bonnie found herself unwilling to repeat her mistake.

A heartbeat picked up behind Kai, and he sensed Alaric stir.

Kai felt his mouth crease in a slow jovial smile that had a predatory hint to it. He had an unfinished business. But as he dashed to oblige, a harsh yank in his solar plexus stole the air from his lungs and brought him down on his knees again, yards shy of where his sister's lover lay. He started to laugh quietly and looked around at Bonnie with wicked mirth. "That's what you did! You put a leash on me."

Bonnie steeled her nerves, shrugging dismissively, matching his sudden change in attitude, and stood.

Laughing, he got up, eyeing her with a wry admiration. "Neat. But so stupid."

She swallowed, ignoring the bout of fear that automatically wanted to play into her nervous system, and forced herself to remember that he was still unable to hurt her and that he'd spent ten minutes pouring his heart out to her. And it wasn't an act, it wasn't some means of trying to win her over.

"How stupid is it to hold a rabid dog on a leash and jerk at it? Huh? Oh, I remember you said I could prove I wasn't that bad, after all. But don't you remember in your turn when I told you I could do it no more? There was that moment when I wanted to – I didn't know WHY but I goddam wanted to!" Anger spilled its warmth in his gut, and Kai felt a little comforted, a little more grounded again. "And WHY, why would I want it now when you freed me from the sole motivation I had to do so?"

"I don't believe that," she said, refraining from moving, not wanting to treat him like the savage pup he deemed himself to be, that wasn't the point of this exercise. She wasn't that stupid. "It's not over for you, you don't get to give up because times are hard and the people you care about can't see past their own self-centeredness to grant you a little faith. Being bad isn't easier, it's cowardly. And I should know. I've been there, I've been to the place you are right now and frankly, I didn't like it. You, on the other hand, fall upon it like it's habit. Like Damon," she stated with trivial disgust, registering that this one was yet to wake up and fully out for the count. Kai did a number on him.

Kai scowled at the name. God knew he was done hearing it for tonight.

"You blame the world for your issues and your family for what has happened and refuse to take even the slightest responsibility for anything yourself. I did you wrong, but that man—" she gestured toward Alaric, "—he hasn't. But that doesn't matter to you, does it? Because you're too scared of what it would mean and too afraid to admit that you've taken this too far and don't know how to stop, don't know how to turn this around and make it better."

With and expression of a geek attending a lecture on the deep space telemetry, Kai listened with a mixture of vague wonder and sardonic humor while she tried to dissect his current state of mind. The recollection of his 'dark hour of the soul' took so much his feelings were dazed from the overload. He couldn't relate to what she was saying he should be feeling, and it struck him a little bit funny.

"I get it," she said. "Until this moment I didn't know how either. But I'm going to help you."

Abruptly, Bonnie snapped his neck with the same efficiency she had Damon's.

"And you're going to let me."


	9. Chapter 9

"Quod videtur realis, non," Bonnie murmured, extending a hand in front of her, flipping Kai over onto his back, dragging him toward her with no more than a beckoning motion. She met him halfway.

She could make out Alaric's silhouette in the dark as she stepped over Kai, crouching down on him, a hand lowering into the dirt beside his sprawled form. "Quid est autem, non."

A piece of wood materialized in her right hand as she pulled it from the earth itself. Her knees coming to rest on either side of his hips as she straddled Kai's waist, hesitating for a second as an image of his frightened face sprung to memory, only this time he had nowhere to go and couldn't poof himself to safety. And surprisingly, knowing she would win this time was nowhere near as satisfying as Bonnie remembered thinking it would be. She closed her eyes, preparing herself for the killing blow, and swiftly stabbed the wood into his heart, his body quickly starting to gray, veins webbing their way across his face and anything else left exposed in the moonlight.

Bonnie looked up, barely able to disconcert what Alaric was thinking or to fully make out his expression. He came no closer and nor did he say anything, seemingly quiet as he backtracked into the forest and took off again.

Her heart went out to him but she didn't give chase. She stayed seated on Kai's unmoving frame, removed her phone from her back pocket and redialed Caroline.

She answered after one ring. "Bonnie?"

"Did you find Tyler?" Bonnie asked immediately, forging the usual greeting, scrutinizing the body beneath her.

"He was sitting up by the time I got there, muttering about Liv and crying. God, there was so much blood, Bonnie. I nearly lost it. I tried to take him to the hospital but he outright refused. I couldn't talk him out of it," her voice cracking with concern for her former boyfriend's health.

"Is he okay?" Bonnie wasn't really referring to his physical health, more so worried about his emotional state.

"I doubt he or any of us will be for a while. But Matt's with him," she responded, taking on a morose tone, one Bonnie could sense broke her heart. She hated change. "He killed her, that's how he triggered the curse—"

"Who?" Bonnie asked automatically, feeling her heart skip a beat and a sinking feeling of dread seep into her bones.

"Liv. She was dying and she asked him to—" Caroline couldn't even finish what she was trying to say and Bonnie selfishly didn't want to hear it—not wanting the horror story to influence what she was planning to do.

"Was it Kai? Did he do something to her?" she asked, incapable of keeping her curiosity at bay.

"No, well, I don't know. I was passed out at the time. He snapped my neck. Stefan said they were linked."

There was a drawn-out pause between the them while Bonnie wrestled the infliction of doubt that gnawed at her gut, instinct that refused to bring Caroline into her plans or ask any more questions. Unfortunately, if there was one thing Bonnie learnt over the years: lies and doing things behind her friends' backs never went well – not for her.

"Bonnie, are you still there?" Caroline asked, her best-friend instincts kicking in. Bonnie never was good at lying to her and found that over the years she only permitted it because she'd too had a lot going on in her life.

"I need your help," Bonnie said, swallowing as she did. "And I need you to not talk me out of it. Okay?"

"What's going on?"

She exhaled and told Caroline where to pick her and two other bodies up, informing her that Damon was hurt and that he would undoubtedly need a lot of blood to heal.

"I'll be there in five minutes."

"Oh, and don't tell Stefan. Not yet anyway."

"What? Why?"

Bonnie didn't have an answer for her. "It's complicated." She brought her free hand to her knee, pushed off Kai and the ground, and strolled toward Damon, feeling guilty for having taken so long to get to him. "Please, just do this for me, Caroline."

After they hung up on one another, Bonnie put a fifteen minutes timer on her phone and turned on the device's torch app, her eyes widening, bile rising in the back of her throat at the sight of Damon's intestines resting in the dirt like oversized and stagnant earthworms. She was going to be sick. She tipped her head skyward to stave off the overwhelming nausea, a slight tremor in her hands as she turned her back on him, unable to stomach the image. She could now see why Damon hadn't healed. She took two or three steadying breaths, feeling her head dizzy for a spell and her hands grow clammy as she spun around to face him again. Bonnie forced herself to join him on her knees in the dirt, barely easing him onto his back when a putrid stench assaulted her senses and queasiness returned at full force, vomit spurting from her lips before she could even think to regain control of her stomach's contents. This continued for five solid minutes.

Bonnie was crying by the time she stopped dry-heaving, tears involuntarily drawn into the works by her puking, the back of her hand lifted to her wet lips to wipe away the traces of bitter sick she could still taste upon her tongue.

She swallowed once she regained her composure, her hand shaking as she placed her phone in the dirt and trained it upon Damon's open abdomen to give her light to work with. Her lips drew down into an unpleasant grimace as she grabbed a quivering hold of the stringy—and no longer slippery—piece of intestine, trying her best to put it back where it belonged, doing her best to ignore the blood she was sitting in.

"Ugh," Damon groaned in agony, coming alive with the contact, her one hand buried inside his abdomen as if he were a human turkey in need of stuffing, while the other worked at a daze trying to make sure she didn't carry twigs and other gross titbits into his exposed underbelly. "That sadistic son of a bitch," he hissed from between clenched teeth, raising his head off the ground like a drunk, his eyes staring down at his stomach and the hand dipped in it, then darting to her face with disbelief.

"Trust me, it feels as gross as it looks."

"Uggh," he groaned, lying back down, sweeping into a fairly painful unconsciousness for about half a second.

Bonnie finished up and pulled her hands free, noticing that he was starting to heal, but sluggishly – he lost too much blood.

"If I get my hands on Kai, he's fucking dead," he snarled, coming back for a verbal round two, sounding like a dog caught in a bear trap and struggling to think, at last minute remembering another important piece of his agony-filled puzzle. He raised his head once more to look, unable to see anything but severe stars dancing in front of his eyes like nauseating beacons. He hadn't seen Kai, yet. "Where's Ric?"

"Alaric's okay," Bonnie answered to try and put his mind at ease. "At least in the physical sense." She wasn't so sure about the emotional aspect. "And take it easy," she commanded, placing a hand against his shoulder to calm him down as he tried to get a better look around, doing his best to ignore the blinding pain that stemmed from his belly. "If your guts falls out again I sure as hell am not picking it up."

Damon laughed, hysterical jollity that was short-lived as pain sliced through him and rendered him weak.

She couldn't believe it either, this had taken their friendship to a whole new level, a routine she never hoped to explore again.

Ever.

She wiped her hands clean the best she could on her soiled jeans, the rancid smell freshly caked beneath her fingernails, as she listened to Damon groan while his body little by little knitted together.

Caroline arrived soon after.

"I thought you said five minutes?"

"Midway here I realized I wouldn't be able to fit two bodies in the back of my car. I went back to Matt's."

Bonnie stared at her, looking worried she might have spilled the beans.

"I didn't say anything. Actually, I didn't even ask him I if could borrow his truck."

"You stole it?"

"I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to lie and lately he's becoming as nosy as my mother used to be. It's a cop thing," Caroline said fondly, brushing it off, peering between Bonnie and the two bodies at her feet.

"Is he—" she began inquisitively, spotting Kai to Bonnie's right, her brows drawing together in notable alarm.

Bonnie faintly shook her head, all too aware of what she was asking.

"Would you two stop gossiping and help me up?" Damon called. "I can hardly concentrate. I have a nemesis in need of murdering and a snoozing girlfriend to get back to."

Bonnie signaled Caroline to help Damon to the truck, motioning that she'd explain later. Caroline nodded and turned her attention Damon. "You reek. Did you change cologne or something?" Bonnie heard her comment in that zero filter way of hers as the two stumbled away, neither looking back. "What is that?"

"Trust me, Blondie. You don't want to know," Damon responded, a pain-filled groan escaping his lips, followed by Caroline's curse and a girlish gasp of horror as he unintentionally revealed the extent of his injury. That was a memory Bonnie wished she was spared and knew would haunt her till her dying day.

Bonnie reset the alarm on her phone two minutes before it would go off for half an hour, pocketed it and crouched beside Kai.

"Phasmatus confractus," she said, his body jerking from the invisible assault as she broke his neck afresh.

Caroline returned a few minutes later, probing Bonnie for answers, refusing to pick Kai up until she got any. Bonnie decided to be honest from the get go, explaining what happened over the last hour or two, what he shared with her and what she now felt she needed to do. Damon, Bonnie was convinced, was too weak to hear it, leaving them a little time for privacy.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? You didn't see what he did at the wedding, Bonnie. You weren't there. You didn't hear their screams. You didn't see Jo."

"I know that," she said, speculating what would have happened if she witnessed his sister's murder, too. Would they be here now? Would she be planning to help him recover? She doubted it. "But only a week ago you and Stefan both sent dozens upon dozens of people to casualty and the morgue."

Caroline stiffened, looking uncomfortable at the reminder and as if she might cry.

Bonnie took a step toward her and touched her arm soothingly, cushioning the excessive blow and letting her know she didn't hate her. Bonnie didn't. "You lost your mother," she said in understanding, rubbing at her arm, knowing they hadn't quite had the chance to talk about it and that Caroline desperately needed to, despite what she said. "If I were in your position, if I had the ability to turn my emotions off," Bonnie said, evoking to memory the crushing loss she had experienced when the last of her family was cruelly snatched from her, "I probably would have turned it off too. And I did." She glanced down at Kai's lifeless features before meeting Care's eyes again. "The only difference is that told myself I was helping my friends by preempting a war, that wanting Kai gone stemmed no further than being incapable of dealing with real life again. He begged me for a second chance, one I was too blinded by hatred and fear to see and—" She swallowed, overcome by grief, feeling herself tear up and weariness taking a firm hold of her soul. She could do with a very long rest. "And my friends and his family paid for it."

Caroline opened her mouth to censure what Bonnie was saying – to make it okay.

Bonnie cut her off. "What happened to Elena is as much my fault as it is his. And I'll never see her again. Not alive anyway. I'm not saying he's a good guy or that what Kai did is acceptable, it's not. But there is something inside of him, something frighteningly human that makes me believe he is far more than the monster he's come to depend on. He deserves a chance."

Whether or not Kai took the opportunity was up to him. There was more that needed to be said, more that seemed to ooze between the two of the girls unspoken, but neither of them cared to get into that now. It wasn't the time.

"So where are we holding him?" Caroline enquired, supporting Bonnie without further question and as she always did, reaching down to pick him up off the ground. "You know he has crazy magic. That he literally squeezed everyone's skull at the same time and that even now, I am pretty sure my ears are still ringing."

"Yeah, that is a problem," Bonnie answered as she walked alongside Care. "But if my mother's taught me a thing or two it's that there are remedies to negate a witch's a power. At least for a little while."

"Which brings us back to my previous question? Where. To?"

* * *

 

Caroline grunted softly as she set Kai down on the Salvatores' cellar floor, tying his hands and feet with readily soaked vervain rope, paying no mind to circulation, her hands adorned in a pair of protective yellow kitchen gloves. "You know this isn't going to hold him, right?"

"That's why I'm going to need you to go shopping," Bonnie answered, producing a pen she snagged off the inside table.

"And I don't suppose you mean for clothes?" Caroline retorted, breaking the tension and sounding hopeful. Bonnie could see she was as tired, that everything that happened today was steadily closing in on her.

"Maybe once we're over villainy detox one-o-one."

Caroline cracked a smile and extended her arms. Bonnie wrote a quick list on the back of each hand, making sure it was clear and that she could read what Bonnie needed.

Bonnie snapped Kai's neck a third time, hopeful that, once the next time her alarm went off, everything she needed would be prepared, spells would be cast and he'd be locked down indefinitely. She reset her alarm, collected two bags of blood from the freezer, and headed upstairs behind Caroline to tend to Damon who was out cold on the parlor floor in front of the unlit fireplace.

Bonnie sniffed the air as she stepped inside the parlor, identifying another smell, something she picked on—despite the many different soil samples all over her—and immediately recognized as smoke. Caroline seemed to identify it, too. They had been so consumed by what they were doing before that they hardly gave it a second thought. Bonnie glanced at the fireplace, taking note that it wasn't lit, and followed Caroline as she dashed upstairs.

"Caroline!" she called in a panic, dropping the blood bags to the nearest flat surface, charging after her as fast she could. It was then that she saw smoke and brilliant flame licking its way up the corridor.

"Oh, god! Fire!" she yelled needlessly, voicing what both of them now knew. Caroline took off once more. Bonnie's head was reeling, spiraling for a means to calm things down.

Caroline returned with a bucket. "I couldn't find a fire hydrant. Can you believe these two idiots don't own one of the most important thin—"

Bonnie grabbed her wrist, water from the bucket sloshing over the rim onto the hardwood floor. Her eyes closed to concentrate on dousing the flames, drawing the air from the room around them and away as though it never existed. But it did, and the damage to Damon's personal belongings was extensive. He wouldn't be happy.

"Alright then," Caroline said once they made certain the flames were well and truly doused, the still full bucket of water set down outside Damon's ruined bedroom. "I'll go get started on the shopping."

With that, she was gone.

When Bonnie returned to the cellar half an hour later and the final alarm went off, the barrier spell was in place and no one other than herself and Caroline were able to enter the basement. Bonnie thrust a needle into Kai's arm – a potion that had been used on her more than once by her mother and she took upon herself to condense specifically for Kai. She only hoped it worked, not having tried it on herself.

All that was left to do now was wait for him to wake up.

Caroline had left to go check on Elena while Damon recovered upstairs, passed out on one of the parlor couches—where they'd finally moved him—his belly stitched closed to help speed things along. Neither of them having enjoyed that particular process. He'd even fed a little.

Bonnie sat herself down on the small cot behind Kai, her back resting against the cool wall, legs extended in front of her while she waited. She didn't want him to wake up alone or to have the chance to think that Bonnie simply traded one prison for yet another.


	10. Chapter 10

It was as dark as in a hell pit in that cave. It smelled of faint decay and dampness, and his uneven footfalls echoed around as though Kai was trying to hammer his way through a wall instead of limping. And damn, it hurt to walk. Every step sent a lightning of pain from each stab wound to zap through his body, making it harder to keep his breathing in order. The lantern did little to light the way and only made a creepy shadow out of him to stalk across the walls and ground.

His shirt clung to his back soaked in blood, so did the jeans leg where Bonnie's knife had struck next. Kai was torn between a bitter feeling of irony, as though he knew she would do something like that, and hurt, profoundly deep and encompassing. She didn't even make an effort to truly listen to him, not once. Not fucking once.

He failed to notice he was in a room rather than a cave before he ran into something solid with his hip and groaned a curse. It was a table, Kai saw with growing wonder. And when he limped around it and carried his pathetic lantern to the right, an ashen face jumped out of the dark. Kai's heart stopped, and for the next terrifying second he thought it wouldn't restart. It did, and Kai took a better look.

The thing's skin was wrinkly and grey, veins dark and saturated under it. There were other figures outlined by the shadows; they were sitting in a semi-circle.

_What are they, mummies?_

Kai scrutinized the first one, momentarily forgetting his pains as curiosity took over. "What the hell are you…" he murmured, and the mummy's eyes snapped open.

The world tumbled over around and under Kai, and he heard his own cry before a bolt of pain ripped into his neck and leaked further through his shoulder and arm and chest, swift like quicksilver. The mummy's eyes – colorless and dead – flashed on his mind's screen as he jerked…

There was a strangled groan Kai sluggishly recognized as his as he stirred and winced. His neck was nagging as if he had been sleeping with it bent in the wrong way for a day or two. His whole body was stiff and sore, especially the right side he was lying on. He couldn't feel his hands as though he no longer had them, but his wrists screamed in pain. The poorly lit room slowly came into vision, blurry but familiar. The thick stench of smoke was the biggest clue Kai would have smiled at if not for the cough that tightened his throat.

He smelled _her_ , too.

Bonnie was busy with her phone, scrolling through section after section of random newsfeed tweets, attempting to take her mind off things for a while, when a groan filled the air. She glanced down at the figure before her on the floor, locked her phone, and swung her legs off the cot.

"Though I do love that trick," Kai said in a husky voice that sold out his horrible thirst, "it really sucks you did it. I thought we were talking! But never mind." He rolled onto his back, wincing as the burning in his wrists neared the teeth-grinding level, and looked at Bonnie with a weary, dry amusement. "Let me guess: I'm still alive because you wanna force me to undo the spell on you and Elena. I really can't – not even sorry to disappoint you on that." He thought of tearing the ropes, but there was no familiar surge of magical energy. There was something wrong with him, and he did feel much weaker than he normally would. A lazy smirk of wicked knowing touched the corners of his mouth as he locked his eyes on hers. "I see you took precautions. I'm a little impressed, you brave little witchling. It might help for a few minutes, all right. Don't waste them, for they can become your last."

"The safety measures weren't my first choice, but with your newfound feeding habits and desire to rip my friends' throats out, it makes it hard to trust you," Bonnie responded, sliding off the cot, squatting beside him to take a hold of his shoulder, easing the pressure off his bound arms to help him into a sitting position. The first step in signifying her means for truce. She released his shoulder once she was sure he was good, and walked out of the cell to retrieve a blood pack.

Kai shifted a bit towards the wall and leaned back against it, taking a small moment to assess his aches and control his breathing, taking a deeper one in and releasing a longer one out. The smoke ate at his airways, adding to the hunger dry-out.

Slowly unwinding the plastic tube around it to act as a makeshift straw, Bonnie crouched before him. "Thirsty?"

Kai gave her a long searching look, the smallest of curious smiles playing over his mouth. He couldn't decide whether she was really that confident or really that stupid. And it bugged him, like a mosquito's high-pitched whining somewhere in the same room with him would. Vervain on his ropes didn't please him, either, and he needed blood to fix things he didn't like. He opted for a nod, never taking his probing eyes off her.

Bonnie held his gaze for as long as was necessary for him to trust that she wasn't trying to wangle an angle, not one that was a detriment to either of them, anyway, otherwise she would have killed him, right? Just like he could have killed her a couple of dozens' times tonight. A light smile played upon her mouth at his approving nod; she guided the plastic to his parted lips without hesitation, trusting that he wasn't stupid enough to bite her and that maybe he didn't want to. Who knew with this guy? Bonnie kept a firm hold on the blood pack, letting him feed at his leisure or at least until he'd managed enough to feel more settled.

Kai's lips parted obediently as she offered him the blood and helping the plastic tube between them. It was too cold and so much different from the live and warm kind you got directly from the vein, but, for that moment, it was a liquid ambrosia that coated his sore throat and muffled the ache. He had three quarters of the pack down when Damon's voice called for Bonnie from somewhere outside the cell – Kai figured Salvatore couldn't even get down the stairs, and it made him smile a little. Bonnie didn't trust them around each other and was right, since Damon didn't have it in him to think before he acted. Kai, however, felt no fixation on killing him unless provoked. Not when Damon's plans for the next hundred years or so included pining after an eternally snoozing girl.

"Bonnie?!" Damon yelled, hovering at the door and in front of the barrier she had cast. "Bonnie, what the hell?!"

Bonnie knew that, as soon as he was conscious and smelt the smoke in the air, there would be severe damage control. She cringed and involuntarily made to remove the plastic 'straw' from Kai's mouth.

"Excuse a second," she said as if they were having a civil everyday conversation, leisurely walked out the cell, leaving the door open to purposely let Kai know he wasn't a prisoner – at least not in the bars sense.

Kai surveyed the open door, wondering once more what her intentions might be. Confidence and ignorance looked very alike at times.

"What the hell are you doing?" Damon raged. "Why can't I get down—"

"What's wrong?" Bonnie asked, ignoring his blazing blue eyes and questions.

"What do you mean what's wrong? My gut was slashed open, there is smoke in the house and—"

"Have you been upstairs?" she chipped in, once again cutting short his mention of the basement and the barrier spell – she didn't want that revealed too soon.

He frowned, looking peeved. "Upstairs?" he echoed, his right hand clutching an empty blood pack, clearly wanting more and wrestling with his next plan of action: Bonnie, the pack, or the looming mystery of what lay in wait upstairs.

"Your room," Bonnie added to help speed along his indecision, his eyes widening with fear and what she knew would be rage by the time he saw his bed, books and bathroom.

He took off without a word, leaving her to stare after him for a second or two and hear as he released a pent-up roar of distress like an injured animal.

Kai listened half-heartedly while most of his attention coursed through his system like an intelligent computer scanning program in search of flaws and running diagnostics. The blood was gradually doing its job and he could feel the charges of renewed energy collecting in his muscles and cells, smoothening the soreness away. Kai pulled his legs to his chest and slid the loop of his arms up along them, ending up with his tied hands on his lap. The hands resembled those of a corpse with the blood flow cut off by the ropes; his skin around the wrists burnt and bloody. He closed his eyes, concentrating, assessing his resources. He could sense it more distinctly now – whatever Bonnie injected him with to bind his magic. Kai strained his bound hands as if intending to tear the ropes apart, wincing at the pain bursting across the damaged skin and saturating the flesh beneath. Blood oozed, soaking the ropes and eventually dripping to the floor while he sat with his eyes closed, guiding the foul potion out of his system.

Bonnie traipsed back downstairs and into the cell again, knowing Damon would be away a couple more minutes and that priority one of his was trying to see what survived the unexpected fire. "I'm guessing the fire was you?"

He looked at her and simpered. "Probably." Then added, "Fraktus," under his breath, parting his feet and hands once the ropes ripped and flew sideways in shreds as though he tore them with a flourish of a Hulk.

Bonnie gasped and automatically stepped back as he tore free of his ropes. How the hell did he even do that? She swallowed, taking another step back, rapidly weighing up her options, trying to decide whether or not she should make a run for the basement stairs or if she should stay. Running would be the smart thing to do—especially in light of his earlier threat—but it was also the most efficient way of provoking him to attack her, or red-flagging her detoxing plans.

Kai hissed softly, rubbing at his healing wrists, and gave her a faint smile. "That's much better. Now tell me, Bons: do you ever think your plans through thoroughly or just go with the flow and thus screw up every time?" He meticulously registered every spark of fear and mild panic that blinked across her face once she saw the ropes fly off his ankles and wrists. She fell back a few steps and stopped just behind the threshold of the cell, her fingers unwittingly tightening on his unfinished blood pack. She made a huge effort to contain her emotions and appear cool, and he found himself liking that about her yet again.

"I find the flow works a lot more efficiently," Bonnie responded, having thought that this would be a bit easier, that vervain ropes and a magic nuke would be the thing needed to put him on time-out for at least an hour. "Especially in this case. Otherwise, I probably would have foregone the illusion and staked you while you were out cold." She beckoned to the open canister of salt sitting at the wall in the corridor. It tipped over, salt crawling across the floor like white ants within seconds, lining the entranceway of the cell like dutiful little soldiers in need of a singular word to seal him in. Bonnie only hoped it wouldn't be necessary and that a bluff would be enough.

Kai squinted pensively, thinking about it. Illusion, she said. He let on a slow smile of a dawning recognition as some pieces of this puzzle crawled towards each other to create a picture in his mind. She pulled off an illusion of staking him for some reason – which he was yet to find since he was hardly a total secret sitting in the Salvatores' house, of all places.

Her gaze flicked down, and as his followed, Kai saw a white line of salt crawling along the doorstep. He nearly spilled a laugh over it, but restrained it instead, raising a mock reprimanding stare to meet hers. In an instant, he was hovering before her, his hands propped on the doorframe, the tops of his boots a hair shy of the salt border.

Bonnie locked her gaze upon his, her heart skipping a transitory beat as he appeared so close. Too close. He'd been doing that particular trick long before he even became a vampire – it unnerved her. She forced herself to not look down, to not break eye contact and broadcast her alarm – though, by now and with all his fancy new senses in place, it was only a matter of time before he recognized it. Unless he already did.

Kai was still smiling his faint, inscrutable smile, regarding her. "Why didn't you stake me for real? Did my little revelation shock you into pity? That'd be funny given how late the reaction is for this party. Haven't I said that? I think I did. And I think you're not as good at listening as you are when it's Damon yapping about his sorrows and failures."

"I wouldn't call it pity as much as it is enlightenment," she said in a calm voice, surprisingly good at maintaining that confident air while her pulse and scent gave out a different kind of vibes. "As for Damon, he's had his trials. All of which he formerly failed miserably, time and time again. But he's changed, he's trying to be better and less a psycho killer. At least to some degree and as far as I was aware." She paused briefly as if revising it in her mind. "He's a work in progress," she concluded. "Like you."

Kai screwed up his eyes a little in an automatic expression of ironic distrust, registered her heartbeat quickening a notch. It usually happened to people who ventured a phrase unsure of the other person's reaction and expecting the worst. It made him ponder whether she was trying to lie to him again.

"The only difference is, he's stopped fighting it, stopped trying to blame the world and has taken a little responsibility for his actions. Like me. I've made mistakes. And I could be making one right now. Probably my second biggest this month." There was a note of morose humor in her voice, the awareness that if he wanted to follow through with his threat, it would take no more than a second and a certified flick of a wrist to do so.

Kai cracked a wider smile that said she might be on point here.

"Yet, for some reason, I don't believe that I am," she continued. "If anything, your speech tonight has made me realize that. I know that it sounds hollow coming from me now, that you believe I'm trying to pacify you for some substantial gain." She thought of how a few weeks ago he begged her to trust him, to believe he'd changed overnight, and how she refused to take in an idea so unfathomable. Their roles seemed ironically switched. "But I'm going to need you to take a leap of faith and trust that I'm not and that unlike who you were two weeks ago, forgiveness doesn't come easy to me. I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone, I'm trying—" she searched for a better word, went for it: "I want to help you."

For a lengthy moment, they merely stared at each other – Kai with a curious attention and Bonnie with a wary one.

Silence stretched for what felt like an eternity for Bonnie, and his face was absent of even a hint of his thinking or if she managed to break through his uncompromising defenses. She chose to take it as a good sign. A negligible second of optimism that rushed through her, positivity he eradicated within moments as if to punish her for it. She should have been ready for it, she should have uttered the word before he struck, but there had been no time.

Kai gave a soft hem of acknowledgment and shared a sardonic look with her before his hand darted forth like a striking viper and yanked her back to his cell by the throat. The blood pack dropped on the floor like a dead piece of meat; the salt line was swept across the floor by her feet. Kai had her pinned to the wall, much like in the barn earlier that night, before a gasp escaped her mouth. Heat of magic warmed up his palm, seeping from her skin through his before she could spit a spell out; he leaned in to her as though for a kiss, but not quite. A smile so amiable formed on his face it was out of place in their current roles. Kai could see her grimace at the ache of his siphoning, probably cursing herself for stupidity of trusting she was safe with him.

"God, you're so plucky, Banzai, it beats me how Damon stays immune to a turn-on like that."

Bonnie's mouth fell open faintly, restrained gasp after aching gasp tumbling from her lips, eyelids fluttering, threatening to close as a means to ward off the blaze of magic being pilfered from her body and to do away with his smiling face.

Kai's smile widened a tad, releasing a pleased hem, then his eyes took on a keener look relying it was a random remark in an actual talk of business. "Help implies I've asked for it, Bonsy. That there's something I want or desire, while, to be honest, right now, I come to realize there's hardly anything I want or desire. I think I just… am, pretty much. Like a force of nature. And a force of nature doesn't want. I got all I wanted, so what is it that you, little presumptuous witchling, wanna help me with? Do enlighten me in your turn." Nudged by a sudden playful curiosity, Kai released her gently to see what she was going to do. The borrowed magic hummed in the fibers of his body like electricity in high-voltage wires. It quickened his own pulse, and added a subtle touch of arousal.

Bonnie stayed rooted where she was when he let her go, handling her with far more care than he started off with. She was angry, every square inch of her body stinging with defeat, longing to punch him out of mere need for justice. She exhaled through her nose, taking a few seconds to calm down, to remember that he was doing this on purpose and that this was as nasty a test as any. She should have expected it. And a part of her did.

She chuckled, a sound that held little mirth and came across as more of a scoff, and lifted a hand to the phantom imprint left behind by his unexpected siphoning. "Presumptuous?" she echoed. "Maybe. But it's been my experience that those that fear rejection or think themselves beyond repair seldom ask for help, Kai. You know why? Because they've been doing it their whole lives and all they know is to run. They're ashamed of facing themselves, petrified of confronting what they've done to cope and scared to feel anything remotely real because they don't know what to do with it. You've been seeking recognition from your family for eighteen years. Forty, _if_ we really want to dive into it. You think that feeling up and poofs out of existence because they're dead? It doesn't. And it's only going to get harder for you from here. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but down the line, another eighteen years for now, you're still not going to have gotten what you wanted, you'll still just be the assumed abomination his family up and scratched from existence. Is that who you want to be known as for the rest of your _very_ long life?" She didn't believe so, not after what he'd shared and the hurt that clearly started all of this. He wanted to belong, she was sure.

Her speech put a damper on that playful spark twinkling in Kai, fueled by her closeness and the magic he took, and now there was an acrimonious frustration like a drop of poison spreading its deadly strings through the clear waters of the well. She was trying to read him and never quite hit it, and while she refused to stop poking around, it was getting to a point of irritation that bordered with ire.

"Answer me this," she added, scrutinizing him, "if you were given the chance, if you by some means possessed the power to go back, to hold off from stabbing your sister in the gut and starting world war three. Would you? Or would you simply do it all over again?"

A somewhat morose smile of resignation tugged at Kai's mouth as the same bile-bitter feeling rose from within like a bloated corpse rises up from the bottom of the river. She was stubbornly pulling at the strings he had deliberately cut because all they did was give him more trouble instead of the liberation he sought.

Kai looked at her like one would look at a child that struggles with understanding and yet demands answers to questions she's not supposed to worry about at this age. "Would I kill my family if I had a chance to change it? I would, in a heartbeat."

Bonnie stared at him in wonder and with something like a flicker of disenchantment, incapable of processing how quickly he tore her hope to shreds.

"Because it's always been like that between me and them: they never stopped trying to put me away. They not just intended to rob me of my birthright, but of my life as well, and I couldn't let them. It was always me or them, Bonnie. And like it happens in the wilderness of nature, the strongest survives. I chose to be that, and it is my responsibility – I'm fully aware of it and state it here and now: it was indeed my choice to survive them. Jo – she was carrying another threat to my powers in her, and I couldn't let them live."

It's not that Bonnie anticipated he would become a turncoat or start handing out food parcels at a shelter or adopt stray puppies from the SPCA. She wasn't trying to make him good, she didn't hold that power, and frankly, she didn't want that kind of responsibility. What she did need and sought was a true hint of remorse in Kai. She wanted to know that after all the horror they bore tonight and over the last few months wasn't for nothing, and wouldn't end up with any more people dead.

Kai squinted cunningly as though warning of a major hint to come. "Not after you left me in nineteen-o-three, a bloody breakfast for a bunch of desiccated heretics. Funny enough, it even made me think my own prison wasn't so bad, after all – and that's the biggest blasphemy ever, I tell ya. I left her in peace after she gave me her powers. And I guess I could've figured out a way to solve that problem with her twins, but then – plot twist! – I end up in a prison world to feed a pack of bloodsuckers not all of which knew how to be gentle."

Her heart seemed to stop, that nauseating feeling returning at full force, tears burning behind her eyes for a second. She forced herself to blink away the swelling anguish, to stop it dead in its tracks before it fully manifested or coursed down her cheeks. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of winning – not again, not in this department. It didn't matter how many times tonight Kai spitefully attempted to make it clear that Bonnie was as accountable for the death of Jo's family – it would never stop hurting her. She knew that as well as that the sky was blue. And in this moment, she, too, wished she never made it out of that prison world, that she was still back there and this was another of the many frightening nightmares she invented for herself.

In a fracture of a second, Kai had her in the same grip, his palm heating up with her magic readily flowing in. Her fingers dug in his wrist, desperate to remove his vice grip and cut short by his siphoning power. This was as efficient as any neck snap in her book.

He smiled a smile of a cat playing with a mouse. It was coming back again, the arousal of power. "You wanna know if I'm sorry? I was very damn sorry when I told you so – and I did many times. You didn't listen. And now we both can be sorry – you for not listening, I for killing my sister who could have been the only one of them I actually felt anything for, because being twins has its effect even on a senseless bastards like me – and it won't change anything. I did what I did because I wanted to do it, because I chose to do it after things that happened to me. It's not the blame you think I put on others – those are simple, dry facts that brought me to where I am now. And right now, it's too late to tell me how I crave for understanding of my family – I killed them because I stopped wanting it a long time ago. I'm not scared to feel what's real – there's just nothing worth feeling."

Bonnie's mind kept working, tossing more into the guilt pile. Unlike Damon, who made shitty life choices and continued to make them when things weren't going a particular way or, more importantly, his way, Kai, for even a second, had tried to stay on track, to give the merge a refined attempt. And yes, he'd been manipulative, pushy and his unpredictable self in his efforts, but not once in the two days that Bonnie mingled with him had he possessed the same sneer or grade of chaos in his eyes. She cynically believed it was an act—and now the roles were reversed, and this time Kai didn't care to see it anymore since that kind of happiness and self-acceptance had been snatched from him too many times. Years of continual conditioning provided by his family and himself. And now, her.

He yanked her from the wall to him, her back lined up with his front as he held her to him with an arm across her chest, his cheek against her temple. Kai simpered pensively as if a sudden idea came into his head, and traced a finger of his free hand down the side of her neck. He saw the vein pulsing rapidly, and began getting hard. "Except for the only real thing a vampire can feel… that you can still give me."

Bonnie's eyes widened at the implication, preoccupied by his hard-on and misleadingly gentle attention provided by his touches. An uncontrolled gasp spilled from her lips in anticipation of his bite, evoking to memory how viciously Damon ripped into her neck all those years ago. She squeezed her eyes shut, endeavoring to blot out the image, and forced herself to relax, to accept that there was nothing she could do to prevent it – and that this was it.

Eyes closing, Kai nuzzled into her skin, taking in that scent that made him waver on the edge of self-control, and skimmed his parted lips over the beating vein, testing himself. He wanted it so badly it scared him deep down. And it also excited him too much to step back. Now he could no longer backtrack, and that thought coaxed his fangs to elongate and his mouth water, like an approval from beyond reason. Vaguely, Kai was aware how his own heart hammered away against her shoulder-blade, as frantic as hers but for all the different reasons. He snaked his other arm around her waist, tender as a lover before planting a kiss, and scraped his teeth against her skin, as if teasing himself. A bead of crimson swelled on the small scratch and he picked it up with the tip of his tongue.

"You're gonna be more than I even expected," he whispered against her neck. "Exquisite."


	11. Chapter 11

When Kai didn't immediately sink his teeth in and get to it, Bonnie exhaled shakily, aching to tell him to stop fucking with her. Her eyes snapped open as a second arm snaked around her waist, his lips persistent in their torturous devotion, blunt teeth scratching along sensitive skin, a soft sound of disquiet escaping her lips.

"You're gonna be more than I even expected," he murmured. "Exquisite."

"I'm not so sure," Bonnie said in a taunting matter, finding her voice at long last, her nails digging into his forearm through the denim sleeve of his jacket in a bruising clasp as if she needed to hold on in case she were to float away or something. "I've been known to be pretty bitter."

"I've been known to have a wicked taste." Kai dabbed his tongue on another bead of blood growing on her scratch, and the urge to tuck into her flesh and have a full swallow or ten became unbearable, but he still held himself back like a rider trying to keep his tempered stallion from bolting. He literally felt the sores on the palms of his restraint where the stallion's reins scraped the skin off. If he could stop and think of why he was still holding back, Kai would have had no answer. He felt another tremble in her, her breath labored, her heart racing – and all of it was like a candle set under the strained rope of his need to stay in control.

Her body's reactions consumed him so much he almost missed the swift whiplash of air responding to a vampire dashing to them to attack. Kai caught Caroline in midair, an inch short of her goal that was his spine, and threw her backwards. She propelled through the cell's doorway into the wall and dropped with a grunt.

"Saepio," he whispered, waving a hand at the door.

Caroline rushed back the same second, and bumped against the invisible barrier sealing the cell closed. Panic and wrath mingled on her face riddled with dark veins under her bloodshot eyes, her teeth bared as she hissed and rapped her fists against what looked like nothing but air.

Bonnie stared in unspoken disbelief. Where Klaus had been demoralizing and ruthless with his attacks, Kai was breathtaking and daunting, exuding power that far outweighed the notorious hybrid and anything she'd ever touched. Caroline appeared once more to test the theory, bouncing off the barrier, her face awash with uncontrolled emotion.

Kai smiled and returned his full attention to Bonnie shivering in his embrace. He replaced his arm around her waist, drawing her focus away from the blonde. "Scared of pain, aren't you?" he mused, and licked off another drop of blood on her skin. "In fact, we never live without pain – there's always a net of tiny little pains here and there in our bodies that actually make us feel at all. So we know we're alive. Strange, isn't it? Or twisted, like so many things in life and nature are. There are so many nervous endings in your neck, Bonsy. And they all run through your whole body, to every corner of it, because it's a web. It's why your neck is an erogenous zone – pain and pleasure have too fine a line between them. Too fine a line…"

Bonnie could already imagine his sharpened teeth locking on her throat and the flash of pain that would follow as he tore through flesh and zeroed in on the vein like a rabid animal. She wasn't looking forward to it. Yet another—lesser—part of her couldn't help but wonder if it would be different. His tone sounded far too seductive to her ears, a technique that, for once, didn't go amiss and strangely settled her nerves as he drew her close, permitting a hint of decipherable arousal to make itself known to her.

The anticipation was scorching his veins and gums; Kai let his fangs sharpen once more, his eyes closing as he felt her jugular beating under his lips like a tiny scared bird. He laved it with his tongue, unconsciously pulling her body closer to his as his teeth gingerly cut into her skin. She gave a moan, or it was his own – he no longer could tell. Her flavor blazed through his senses, flooding, much like Noah's Flood overran the earth in the beginning of times.

Bonnie gasped with the expectance of agony, a response that swiftly transformed into a startling moan, one that echoed his own pleasure. Gratification that transformed into numbness, dizziness and lethargy far too quickly, weakening the hold she had on his jacket, her head lolling sideward, her eyes threatening to close.

He drew a swallow after swallow, relishing in the way it ignited his every nerve, making them tingle and vibrate as if to a tune too high to catch by ear. It became an ageless moment where nothing else existed and it was perfect. The best way a world could be.

Bonnie's heart gave an uneven beat, staggered, and began to slow. And the rush of sensual anticipation Kai would have normally wanted pulled him back from the ninth cloud. He withdrew, as gingerly, and licked his lips. He was trembling, both inside and out, and it took him a second to regain a shred of awareness and see that Bonnie was leaning into him heavier than before; her eyes at half-mast. She was taking shallow breaths.

Kai shifted her in his arms to face him, an arm around her waist and a hand to support her head upright. Her eyes met his drowsily. "This is the moment where I would've asked you if you wanted to live. I shan't for I know the answer."

He kissed her, coaxing her sluggish lips open with his, and slipped his bitten tongue between her teeth.

Before Bonnie could comprehend what he was talking about or could think to be frightened, his warm mouth was on hers like a soothing balm, his tongue probing against slightly parted lips, seeking entrance, all of which she inevitably permitted. Her eyes fluttered closed treacherously to involuntarily savor the acquainted coppery taste and the kiss itself for a second or two.

Her heartrate gave Kai the clue his blood worked, and he released her slowly and fell back two steps, the smallest of smiles shimmering over his mouth – as if Bonnie and he were now sharing a secret no one else could perceive.

Bonnie opened her eyes as his arms fell away from her waist, taking with it the stability provided by his chest, her legs still weak, barely holding her upright as the exchange of blood began to repair the damage he'd caused. When her eyes steadied on his, registering the small indecipherable smile on his lips (one, she thought, looked strangely accepting), Kai waved a hand at the door.

Caroline stormed in like a meteor, and then the bright flash of pain in his neck stole Bonnie's image away.

Bonnie faltered, confused for a minute, and flinched as Kai's body crumbled to the floor at her feet. Caroline towered over him like a pit bull foaming at the mouth. She wasted no time, swiftly biting into her wrist, hardly sparing Bonnie a chance to refute her offer, one hand behind Bonnie's head, the other spoon-feeding more of the healing blood into her friend's system. Bonnie gasped when at last Caroline allowed her the chance to pull away, and lifted a hand to her chest to slow her racing heart and to catch her breath.

"Are you okay?" Caroline asked after a beat, her voice shaking despite her confident stride, her body trembling with what looked to be excessive rage or a severe chill.

"I'm fine," Bonnie replied, fingers probing at the area the wound should have been, shuddering briefly as she recalled the experience to memory.

"Good," Caroline said, being oddly monosyllabic, her hand swiftly meeting Bonnie's cheek with a harsh and unexpected smack.

Bonnie gasped in response, automatically raising a hand to soothe her stinging cheek.

"What the hell, Bonnie?!" Caroline spat before Bonnie could think to ask her the very same question. "I thought you said you had this covered." She let go of Bennett as abruptly and crouched over Kai. Her right hand—Bonnie realized almost too late—was already buried in his chest.

"Caroline! No!" Bonnie yelled, reading her noxious objective. Caroline's eyes snapped to her, like a ferocious lion being interrupted during a vigorous meal, looking as dazed and shook up as Bonnie felt. "Caroline! Stop!"

"Stop?" she mimicked incredulously, making no move to remove her hand from his chest, her lips turning into an ugly line of discontent. "Stop? Stop?! Bonnie, he tried to kill you!" She sounded bitter and odious. Bonnie had never seen Caroline like this, never seen such voraciousness in her before. "Whatever you think you're doing is not working, you're—," she drifted off as if too scared to finish the sentence, her voice trembling slightly. She squeezed at his heart, testing its durability, as if she expected it to be made of steel or stone.

"Caroline…" Bonnie pleaded, dropping to her knees on the other side of Kai's motionless body, enclosing a hand around Caroline's trembling wrist, unmindful of the blood that coated her fair skin. "Please don't. Please—"

"Please?!" Caroline hissed, withdrawing her hand from his chest sharply, bone and other bits crunching.

Bonnie stiffened, pulse racing with momentary dread, settling only once she realized his heart wasn't sitting in Caroline's bloodied grip like a macabre trophy.

"Please? Listen to yourself!"

"I know—" Bonnie replied as the blonde jumped to her feet. She forced herself off the icy floor, too, seeing her friend's increasing distress as she headed for the cellar door. Bonnie took a step over Kai, trying to take a hold of her forearm to forestall her action and to reassure her that she, Bonnie, was fine, that she was healing, a mission she scarcely managed before the flat of her blonde friend's hand connected with her face.

Caroline's eyes widened, her expression as correspondingly dazed as Bonnie's. "I trusted you, I told you those ropes weren't strong enough to hold him and you reassured me they were!"

Bonnie stared at her, trying to figure out what she was trying to accuse her of and smarting from the sting on her face. Was Caroline implying Bonnie wanted Kai to attack her? And that Bonnie in some way set it up that way?

"I get what you're trying to do with Kai, I understand the guilt you must be feeling and how overwhelming tonight has been. But what happened at the wedding tonight is not your fault. You don't have to take _this_ —" Caroline gestured to Kai, "—upon yourself. You didn't know this would happen, you didn't know Kai would come back here and play Ted Bundy. You've been through a trauma, Bonnie. You've been back less than a week for Christ's sake! You're allowed to be weak."

Involuntary tears gathered in Bonnie's eyes, incapable of controlling the rush of emotion that spiraled to the surface. As if she hadn't done enough crying tonight.

"I know you feel responsible for what happened to Elena. I know you love her. And I do too. But, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You can't keep throwing your life away as if you're some sacrificial lamb. I refuse to accept that, I refuse to support that." Caroline sounded both resolute and heartbroken. "I lost my mother, Bonnie," she said, intertwining their hands, pulling Bonnie close, holding onto her as if she were afraid Bonnie'd drift away or reject what she was saying. "I refuse to lose my sister. Not this way and not today."

Bonnie nodded in understanding and squeezed Caroline's hands, doing her best—for now—to reassure she wasn't going anywhere.

When Caroline released her and wordlessly drew back, they moved to sit beside each other on the floor, shoulder to shoulder, both lost in their respective worlds.

"Salt," Bonnie said after a lengthy silence, seeing the blonde frown with her eyes trained on her bloody hand. "I need salt," she clarified, yanking her gaze from Kai's stock-still figure.

"Right," Caroline said, wearily pushed off the ground, moving to exit the cell.

"Caroline," Bonnie called before she could get too far; the blonde head swiveling around to face her again. "What happened to your mother isn't your fault either, you know. You were trying to help her. You did the best you could." Elena told Bonnie about the experiment and Caroline's definitive goal. The result had been obvious. "I'm sure she knew that."

Caroline's lower lip trembled, a small smile tweaking at her lips as she turned away, leaving the room to go get more of the salt she'd bought earlier.

By the time Caroline returned, Bonnie had injected Kai with a weak dose of vervain and of the magic negating potion, diminishing what he'd stolen from her. She wasn't sure it would remain that way for long, but she hoped at least that the vervain would keep him tempered and from causing anymore chaos.

"Damon is pacing like a mad man up there. You didn't tell him about Kai?" Caroline extended the new salt packet to her.

"There wasn't time," Bonnie reasoned, moving to pour it across the open doorway, gesturing that Caroline retrieve the unfinished blood pack from the cell.

She did and tossed it onto the closed freezer. "What do you mean there wasn't time?"

"I mean—" Bonnie dropped the empty packet to the floor, picking up a rusty awl, wincing as she stabbed it into her palm. Caroline looked confused but didn't resist as the witch took her hand to repeat the process. "There wasn't time. I've been busy. And he's been recovering and then—"

"And then you got bit," Caroline clarified, wincing slightly.

"Exactly." Bonnie kept a hold on her hand, allowing their blood to drip onto the salt. "Sigillum anima," she said, watching as the crimson expanded and seeped into the grains, discoloring them, binding them to their blood, making it so that only Caroline and Bonnie would be able to open it up for him.

"Are you sure you want to keep doing this, Bonnie?"

Bonnie threw aside the awl, picked up the empty salt pack off the floor, crumpling it in her hand, then took the half-finished blood pack off the freezer's lid and dropped it inside so that it wouldn't go to waste. "Yes," she answered, unsure of why, when she should have known better—he'd tried to convince her, not once, but three times—that he wasn't interested in changing his newfound course. Still, she refused to give up that easily. She gestured for the stairs, taking only a handful of steps before Caroline broke the silence.

"Do you feel something for him?" she asked at random, remembering something else she'd picked up on in the air during their feeding session, a scent she could still smell lingering on Bonnie's skin.

"What?" Bonnie asked with apparent disbelief. "No, of course not. He's—"

"It's just that…" Caroline cut in, for the first time in her life unsure if she should proceed or how to go about tending to this topic. "You know what, forget it. I just—I mean there hasn't been much time and we haven't spoken or caught up on this prison world thing."

"There isn't much to talk about." Bonnie tried to gauge the sheepish expression on her face.

"Bonnie," Caroline said, canting her head as though she could sense her friend closing off.

"Caroline," she hit back, flashing a light uncompromising smile. "I promise we'll talk. Just not tonight. I need to shower, I need to get rid of all this gunk—" gesturing to the black stains on her pants legs, the dried blood having glued them to her shins unpleasantly. "And I… I need to tend to Elena."

Caroline nodded, accepting the excuse, and started out of the basement.

Damon was already waiting, drink in hand. "Bonnie," he greeted, raising his glass in mock salute, briefly sharing a look with Caroline. "So good to see you again. I was beginning to grow worried that whatever has you secured in the basement might have swallowed you whole."

Straightaway Bonnie could tell he was being acerbic, that he hated being left out of the loop.

"Can we not do this right now?" she responded, casting a sidelong look at Caroline, trying to gauge how much she might have spilled.

The blonde smiled guiltily, and gently pried the plastic from Bonnie's fingers, giving the two of them a few minutes of privacy as she headed to the kitchen to throw it away.

"I have had a long night," Bonnie turned back to Damon, "that is far from over and before I continue with it, I'd like to try and rinse some of it away."

"And when would be the more appropriate time?" Damon countered, draining his glass in one swoop. "Tomorrow? An hour? Five minutes? You're going to have to clear it up for me, Bonbon." He stood, set his glass aside on the nearest flat surface, and strolled toward her. "I've never known you to run from a fight."

They both knew it would head there, that was the privilege of living with someone every waking moment of everyday for four months, and it permitted a certain understanding of how things would ultimately go.

"I'm not running, Damon," she said defensively, not at all feeling as though she had the energy or want to tackle this conversation right at this very minute. "I've reached a limit on pig-headedness tonight and I'm wore-out. There's a difference."

"Not in your world," he disputed.

She scoffed, gritted her teeth, and turned away from him to head for the stairs, gasping in surprise as she bumped into his brick wall of a chest. She hated when he did that.

"Things change," Bonnie said and slapped a hand to his torso, making a point of showing him how to put space between them by taking a judicious step back. "I am not as tolerating as I once was, have you not noticed?"

His eyes narrowed perceptibly, his nostrils flaring a bit, a hand lashing out like an unanticipated viper to grab a hold of her wrist. Bonnie winced, confused by his reaction and irritated as he yanked her closer.

_What the hell?!_

"Damon! Damon, let go of me!" She yanked back on her arm, pulling it free within seconds. He didn't fight her on it, in fact, she was certain—as she looked into that perceptible gaze of his now—that he was trying to sniff her. His face devoid of anything but what looked to be a serious suspicion.

Caroline appeared in the hallway, her eyes darting between the two of them with apprehension.

Bonnie took another step back, purposely walking around him while he stood trying to rattle his brain.

"Is that why he is down there?" Damon asked as Bonnie reached for the stilted railing, and took the first and second step, cutting short her escape.

Bonnie felt subjected to déjà vu. She stopped, knowing that if she didn't he'd make her, or worse – follow her into the bathroom. He could be obstinate like that when he wanted something. "What are you talking about now? What is your problem?"

"Kai," he said with stiff clarification, trying to measure her face for a reaction of some kind as he peered up at her. "I'm talking about Kai Parker. The murderous girlfriend linking siphon sucker. And it's not _my_ problem, it's OUR problem. Or did you forget that?"

"What are you trying to say, Damon?" she asked, withdrawing her hand from the railing to face him fully. She could sense he was getting to something, but in true Damon fashion he had to drag it out a little.

"He murdered Jo. He might as well have murdered Elena. Which begs the question: Why is he here?" He raised an introspective eyebrow, looking oddly like someone trying to piece together a puzzle. "Why is he in my basement?"

Bonnie darted a look over his shoulder to where Caroline stood watching and trying to judge whether or not she should step in. Bonnie inhaled, uncertain of how to answer that and to tell him what she was trying to do. Unlike Caroline, Damon wouldn't be supportive of her mission and considering what he'd been deprived of for the next hundred years, she imagined it would be a bitter pill to swallow. If he hadn't tried to kill her before, he sure as hell would now.

"Caroline didn't tell me," Damon pointed out, taking a wild guess as to the reason for her look. He tapped at the side of his nose, driving home a wordless point. "I put two and two together myself. The barrier, the fact that I can't hear what's going on down there. What I'm trying to understand is why you've taken such precautions." He took a step onto the stairwell, forcing her to take a step back, involuntarily ascending the stairs. "Why he isn't dead and why—" he grabbed a hold of the front of her shirt to prevent her escape, his pupils dilating a second, "—you suddenly seem to smell so appetizing."

"That's enough!" Caroline snapped, appearing beside them on the stairs, removing Damon's hand from Bonnie's top, swiftly shoving him into the railing.

Damon grunted with annoyance and staggered slightly but didn't lose his footing. He was pissed. And who could blame him after the night they all had?

"You two need a time-out."

Neither argued that point, or at least Bonnie wasn't; she didn't quite know how to address the subject with Damon. He'd never accept it or care to understand.

Caroline nodded towards upstairs, "Bonnie, go take your shower."

Bonnie glanced at the back of her blonde head, flicking her eyes to Damon who appeared to be simmering in uncharacteristic silence before proceeding down the stairs to go get himself another drink. Caroline followed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she hissed, slapping his arm once they stepped into the parlor. "Just give her a break! She's also been attacked today, remember? And then ran around through the woods with you, saving Tyler – and YOU, by the way. She needs a moment to rest, she's not a vamp—"

"No, what the hell is wrong with you!" he snapped back, eyes blazing. "Since apparently you're the only one allowed down there – what the hell is wrong with you, Caroline? What the fuck were you thinking? He bit her, didn't he? And what, you just stood and watched it like a porn flick or something?"

Caroline's delicate mouth formed an O of disgusted, dismayed astonishment; she watched him as if what he had just uttered had to immediately crack the floor beneath his boots for hell to swallow him whole. Then she found her voice and advanced on him with such fury in her glare that Damon found himself backing away a step. "You have absolutely no right to say this to me, or think that about her. It's Bonnie! How your tongue doesn't fall out rotten for saying this!"

He winced irefully. "Oh stop it, I bet you smelled it sooner than I did. And – moreover – you got to see. So tell me, am I wrong about this? I actually wish to be."

Caroline's resolution wavered the tiniest bit in the depth of her eyes, almost black with wrath, and Damon noticed it and squinted imperceptibly with knowing. She pressed her lips together angrily. "He didn't harm her, and that's what matters."

"You didn't stop him, and that's what matters to me," he smirked darkly, jeering, and yet his eyes searched her face for answers. Then he took her wrist and raised her bloodied hand between them, shaking it once lightly in emphasis. "Or did you? Why too late? And why is this fucker's heart still intact if you did?"

She sighed, annoyed that she had to discuss it with Damon of all people while she was eager to ride Bonnie's back some more about the same. She tugged her hand free. "Look, just give her a little time to shower and change, and then take it up with her. I… I need to call Stefan now and let him know we're all alive, okay? Okay." She brushed past him and went to the kitchen.

* * *

 

Bonnie walked down the hall to Damon's room, wrinkling her nose with distaste as she stepped inside. She made a left into the walk-in closet, glad to see that the actual fire hadn't reached inside and the damage was mostly superficial. She wasted no time in picking out some fresh clothes. Elena's clothes. Jean skirt slung over her left forearm, along with a leather belt since she was a size bigger than Bonnie, and her infamous maroon jersey. Bonnie exited his room and headed for the space she'd claimed as her own in 1994. It looked similar, expect that there wasn't even a hint of her in it, the bedspread updated and changed, along with a light fixture here and there. She set the few things down, along with a pair of black knee-high boots, and brought the jersey to her nose, hoping to catch a whiff of Elena's comforting smell, irked to find that the smoke overrode it. Not only had they lost Elena, but all she owned was now destroyed, too, almost as if Kai had attempted to scratch her from existence entirely.

Or, at least, unintentionally.

Bonnie set the jersey down on top of her selected skirt, moving toward the dresser to take a towel from the bottom, a habit she was happy to find hadn't died out or changed over the years. She peeled off the shirt as she stepped into the bathroom, flipping on the light, seeing for the first time the extent of the damage to her jeans. It looked tie-dyed.

"Gross," she commented inaudibly as she headed over to the shower, turning on the water to let it warm up. She undid the button on her jeans, hesitating when, as she made to shuck off my shoes, she saw Damon seated on the closed toilet seat.

He was observing her, a drink in hand, looking as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He grinned. Bonnie didn't like that grin, she'd seen that grin when he first showed up in Mystic Falls. She had hoped to never reacquaint herself with it again. She guessed, with Elena out of commission, the reason for her demise tucked away within his basement, out of reach, was having more of an effect on him that Bonnie would have liked.

"I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I?" he asked. "I mean, you've seen all there is to see. You remember, right? That's why we worked on the rules, why we put boundaries into place."

She made no answer, unconcerned with being half-naked in his presence, and stood staring, the steam from the hot water fogging up the large mirror, turning the place into a makeshift sauna.

He waited.

"I'm trying to help him, Damon. I'm trying to set things right."

"What is right?" he asked, staring at her as if he didn't truly see her.

"He deserves a chance."

"Are you hearing yourself right now?" he asked with a cold chuckle, echoing Caroline's earlier bafflement.

"I know it sounds crazy coming from me—"

"Crazy? No, crazy would be killing our only aforementioned means of escape without hesitation in nineteen-ninety-four. You remember that, too, don't you? _This_ is beyond my comprehension."

"I tried to kill him more than once, I tried to leave him behind," Bonnie stated, seeing the truth dawn in his blue eyes, his lips thinning. "Violence doesn't get me anywhere. Jo's dead, her family is dead. I should have trusted Kai when he came to me, I should've had faith that he could change. I made a mistake. I'm trying to correct it."

"You've cracked," Damon responded, in no way able to be sensitive and thinking she needed to know it, as if it explained everything. "You've lost it. There is no way anything good can come from this."

"The eternal cynic," she countered, walking over to him, snatching the bottle of bourbon from his hand. "Would it kill you to have a little faith in me? To, for once, support me without your backhanded commentary?"

"And what exactly is it that you want me to support, Bonbon? You playing witchy-wizard redeemer to a psycho?" he asked, suddenly eyeing her up and down, once again, deferring to that knowing look, as if a need to say something burned on his tongue. "My girl's on indefinite retreat in snooze land, and you're getting cozy with the perpetrator. Has he told you how to unlink the two of you? Have you even tired or—" he reached out to bring a hand to her neck, touching the noticeable patch of dried blood, the recognizable stain that brandished not even a hint of teeth marks. But he knew. "Were you too distracted while he scratched another itch?"

Bonnie flushed, powerless to stave off her reaction, offended and equally mortified.

"Four months is a long time, Bonnie, and you're a big girl with needs. I can smell it on you," he said as to confirm what she'd hoped he hadn't meant earlier, his eyes dipping to her bra and lower. "And I can assure you I'm quite familiar with that scent. However faint."

Bonnie shoved him toward the doorway, annoyed by his misplaced vulgarity and his misunderstanding of everything that happened. Trust him to put some kind of sexual spin on things.

"Fine. We'll continue this downstairs," he said, the humor fading from his face, replaced by fury and bottled irritation, the door closing behind him a few seconds later.

She exhaled deeply, waiting a moment to make sure Damon wasn't going to find a reason to come back, and locked the door, blearily shimmying out of the remainder of her clothes. 

* * *

 

With a quick stride as if her hand was burning, Caroline crossed the kitchen for the sink, turned on the taps and washed the blood off vigorously, thinking it would be so nice to wash off the memory it had installed in her mind forever: Bonnie is being killed and she is helpless to do squat. Ire and anxiety whirled around within her in a mad dance, and she bit her lip when she felt tears stinging her eyes. Her hands were shaking slightly under the water flow. They were clean, but she rubbed some more, soaping them up and rinsing before turning the taps off with a deep breath of determination to keep the tears away.

Not the right moment. Not now.

She took a few more deep breaths, drying her hands with the kitchen towel that lay on the counter, then walked to the window, producing her cell phone, and dialed.

Stefan picked up on the first beep. "Hey, is everything all right?"

She caught herself considering. Not everything was. "Yeah… yeah, Bonnie's okay and safe, so is Damon. We're back in the Boardinghouse. How's Elena?"

"Well, the curse is not broken, if that's what you're asking," he said. "Still asleep, or unconscious… I don't even know. No changes here. What about Kai?"

Caroline grimaced as though he caught her red-handed. "He's… taken care of… for now… sort of." She squeezed her eyes shut in momentary helpless repentance, glanced down at her feet, feeling guilty for even trying to wiggle out of explanation Stefan deserved. "Look, it's a bit hard to explain in a few words, but this problem will wait a bit longer. Bonnie's taking care of it. She… she sealed him in the basement, his neck is snapped, he's secured for now. She didn't want to kill him before making sure there is absolutely no way of undoing his spell."

Stefan hemmed acknowledgment – she could sense his doubts and hated herself for it. Then he said, "Okay, we'll talk about it once I'm home. Is Damon coming here?"

"He might be… I don't know, I didn't ask. He's… not taking Bonnie's plan well, so, you know how he is. Drinking, cursing, glaring. A lot."

Stefan chuckled softly, warming her heart a bit. God, she needed him, like, right now. She wanted him here with her, to be the solid rock to hold on to when waves are raging around, threatening to wash them all into the furious sea.

"Yeah, I know. Well, they release her in the morning, so now, if Kai's locked and Tyler's no longer running rampant, I could come home and you'll tell me what you obviously aren't now."

His voice was soft, clear of any accusation, and she felt a surge of love for him for it. She grinned, feeling a little happy for the first time in this horrible night. "Okay."

"Oh, Caroline? What's with Alaric? Is he there with you, guys?"

She felt her heart sink, and swallowed. "Oh my God… No, no, he's not. We… I completely forgot. I'll send Damon to find him, and I'll stay with Bonnie. I don't wanna leave her alone with this psycho in the basement. Even if he's dead at the moment."

"Sure, okay. I'll call Damon in a bit, so ask him to have his phone on him, please?"

"Will do. Come soon, okay?"

"Of course." He was smiling – she could feel – when he hung up.

And as soon as he did, she was dipped back in the cold, muddy waters of their problems. Stefan wasn't happy to hear about Kai, and though he wasn't as rash and direct in expressing it as Damon, she knew the truth. He would be as concerned as she was, and once he heard about what happened down there, his concern would reach the top red mark where her own was blinking now, bright and horrifying.

She looked at her clean hand and entertained the thought of returning to Kai's cell and finishing what Bonnie had prevented. Bonnie would be mad for days, or weeks, even, but in the end she'd see the light. She would see that Caroline did it to protect her because she wouldn't save herself, not once. Maybe, it was exactly what she, Caroline, had to do. The only sane choice.

She had already reached the doorway when it hit her like a slap to the face that it was exactly what Damon would do if he could. Had he access to Kai, Kai would have been no more. It made Caroline a little sick and conflicted. She wasn't sure if it disgusted her to be similar to Damon even in a situation like this, or she would have approved of him doing it.

"Where's Alaric, Damon?" she inquired, crossing the parlor.

He turned to her, eyebrows raised with brief confusion that swiftly morphed into mortifying guilt. "Dammit. He was in the cemetery, Kai almost drained him. I tried to feed him my blood, but then this motherfucker cut me open like a damn can of beans, and I passed out. Then you came, and… I forgot. Shit." He lilted out his drink, set the glass down harshly and surveyed the room for his jacket.  
"Don't forget your phone, Stefan said he'll call."

"Fine." He shrugged the jacket on, hurrying for the door, then turned to Caroline, his hand tugging on the knob. "Don't let her down there until I get back, you got it? No way she goes back down there before we have that fucking talk."

"Not happening," Caroline nodded. "I'll watch her. Just go."

After a moment's hesitation, Damon went. 

* * *

 

The stale pain in his neck coaxed a quiet groan as Kai came to, feeling like he had a stiff rusty pole instead of the spinal cord. Wincing, he slowly lifted himself up on his elbows, then sat up, dizzy and achy. His veins were stinging as though there was a mix of ginger and chili pepper flowing through them instead of blood. It had to be the infamous work of vervain. He gave a weak laugh, cocking his head from side to side to set the vertebrae right. They crunched, relieving the ache. "So, you went for the right shot this time, hey, Bons," he muttered, and got up on wobbly legs, holding on to the wall as the comber of lightheadedness passed. When it did, he looked down at himself, and peeled the tee-shirt from his chest with two fingers. A hole adorned it, right where his heart was; its edges stiff with drying blood. It gave him another knowing chuckle.

_Oh, Caroline, at least you tried._

Her failure warmed up his curiosity and pleased him like it would please to see your dart stick in the red bull's-eye of the round aim board. A no-miss, after all.

The thick line of salt lay along the threshold. Once Kai felt a tad more confident that his feet would support him, he slowly made his way to the door – still open as if inviting to leave the prison and taste freedom outside – and looked over the salt. He raised a hand, guiding it as if to reach into the corridor, and jerked it an inch back with a hiss as his fingertips got stung. The red, burnt skin gradually paled back to normal. Vervain was slowing the healing, as well. Interesting. The phantom residue of the burn throbbed in his fingers, but there was also a vibration he registered – a subtle trembling, like the smallest, thinnest strings in the world vibrating on inertia after a single chord has been struck.

The barrier magic.

He felt his smile widen as he lay down on the cot, closed his eyes, and made himself relax in spite of the vervain discomfort, muscle by muscle. After a few moments, it didn't feel all that nasty, anymore. He struck a comfortable pose, put at arm under his head, and let himself begin to drift. All he had to do was wait now, so he could as well catch some good ol' shuteye that wasn't neck-snap induced. 

* * *

 

Bonnie turned the hot water back on, undid the top of her jeans and pushed her pants down over her hips to her thighs, easing onto the closed toilet lid Damon had been occupying minutes before to remove it completely. She wrestled the sticky fabric, disgusted by the memories attached and growing frustrated.

_(You've cracked)_

Pressing her lips together into a white angry line, she tossed the pants in the sink,

_(getting cozy with the perpetrator)_

unclipped her bra, shrugged it down her arms and tried to inspect it

_(while he scratched another itch)_

but instead stared down at it with some kind of a stupid attention, like a junkie on a slow-coming high, or as if trying to see through it.

_(You've lost it)_

Her face scrunched up in a sudden grimace of rage, her fingers squeezing on the bra's cups convulsively as she stomped a foot so hard an awl of pain pierced it through the sole and up to her ankle. Her eyes welled up with tears of helpless anger as Bonnie envisioned Damon's face. "No! It's you who lost it! So many times no one can count anymore!" She didn't recognize that hissing voice as hers, but she didn't care. She felt like a balloon that has been blown to its near-exploding limit and then someone loosened the hole and air started wheezing out, relieving the pressure on the walls. And that wheezing was her voice.

Bonnie wanted to smack it out of Damon so badly with anything heavy enough that she could lay her hands on here, and wished he were still here so she could. Panting, she made a step towards the toilet seat on stiff legs and plopped on it, trying to get her breathing back to even. Her heart was rapping away, working on the fuel of anger residue.

_(I can smell it on you)_

"Fuck you, Damon" she whispered with a worn-out disgust, took a few deep breaths, and noticed she was still clutching her bra in a white-knuckled grip. She consciously loosened her fingers, watching the cups reluctantly resume their form. Sighing, Bonnie began inspecting it again, searching for bloodstains and anything to deem it unwearable. She found a red stain on the left strap, a medium sized patch from Kai's assault and a reminder of how easy it would have been for him to send her to an early grave – again.

_Had he wanted to._

His voice, his tongue and teeth on her skin – she couldn't stop herself from recollecting it, like rolling down the slope on a skateboard and unable to stall. Though she tried, clutching on reason and stomping on the brakes of analysis. Bonnie could admit that she made a mistake, that she was weak, and that for an unanticipated second, she gave into Kai's bite, but she couldn't help it – it was beyond her control. She still didn't know why it happened, why even now as she thought about it she could hear that unwitting moan fall from her lips, surprised how smoothly Kai's teeth had latched onto her neck and how the entire processes hurt for all of three seconds, and feel the reminisce of unforeseen pleasure as it pulled from within. It was an alien sensation, completely out of this world to her. She could never understand it or… approve of it? Yes, maybe that, too. What she'd experienced that night in the forest during Emily's possession with Damon's attack had been painful and stayed with her even now. _That_ pain was the reality of it to her.

Bonnie pushed away from the thought and retreated to make more space between them. There was nothing to analyze about it, it was plain and simple to the core: whatever the way it happened, it was still a vampire's bite: the very weapon they use to kill. He could have killed her.

_Had he wanted to,_ she felt her own thought dab at her shoulder tentatively, as if shy to have returned to bother her. But once it did, it was there, as she immediately saw Kai's face the moment before he waved his hand and let Caroline in. It wasn't the face of a man who intended to kill.

Suddenly frustrated, Bonnie got off the seat and tried to shut the door on the reverie. She was tired. She would have no more of this nonsense. She craved a break. A big, solid, long break with sleeping for twenty-four hours and not worrying about a single thing.

She strolled to the shower, reached to turn on the cold tap, smoothed her underwear down her hips and stepped out of it, thoroughly rinsing both herself and the supposed material evidence in her hand.


	12. Chapter 12

After Caroline's phone call Stefan found himself unable to quietly sit at Elena's side like a reputed watchdog, too aware and worried about what was down in the boarding house. First, he didn't trust Kai; second, Damon was volatile, and third, someone needed to look for Alaric. He was alone out there, dealing with his wife's body and a collection of prematurely related witch corpses. As for Elena, they already knew that physically there was nothing wrong with her, the doctors even went so far as to confirm their theories by doing every test under the sun. Tests that didn't require days of waiting for results. They even established she wasn't in a coma—there was far too much brain activity—and that she appeared to be asleep, dreaming and peaceful. Stefan could still hear them talking about it, conferring with one another down the hall, trying to find some plausible explanation that made actual sense. They hardly had time to dig any further.

"Any changes?" a middle-aged nurse named Margaret asked kindly. She'd been popping in and out all night.

Stefan shook his head and released the hand he'd been holding. "None. And I don't expect there will be."

"Don't lose faith. Your friend is in the best possible hands. Doctor Egan has over eighteen years of neurology behind him. If someone is going to find the solution – it'll be him."

Stefan smiled and pushed out of the chair with a nod, wishing he could believe that and take solace in the woman's encouraging words. Elena deserved a break and some happiness. But not like this, not in a way that deprived her of her life and made it impossible for her to grow old with her brother and her friends.

"I thank you for everything you've done for us," Stefan said as he approached Margaret, reaching out to take a gentle hold of her shoulder, preventing the nurse from leaving or stepping aside to make room for him. She frowned, temporarily confused by the physicality as their eyes met. "For her. But Doctor Egan has advised that there is nothing else he can do for Elena and that she is merely taking up bed space. She'll be going home tonight."

Margaret raised a hand and squeezed at his left arm compassionately. "I'll get a ward assistant to help you."

"Thank you, but there is no need, Margaret," Stefan replied, attentively meeting the nurse's helpful brown eyes. "But I would like to speak to Doctor Egan. There are a few things I need to clear up before we leave."

"He isn't around. He drove to Bon Secours College in Richmond. Unfortunately, he had a seminar there in the morning that he couldn't cancel. He'll be back towards the afternoon. I could find someone else? Doctor McKenna, maybe?" She prepared to go, her eyes scanning the halls as if searching for a familiar face.

"No, it's okay," he said, averting her aim, trying to decide what to do. Could he leave? Kai was gone. Tyler was contained. Lily was still out hunting for her heretics. What else was there for them to fear tonight in regards to Elena's safety? _Nothing_. "I have somewhere I need to be for a while, if you could get things ready so that basically all I have to do is walk in and grab her, that would be appreciated."

Margaret grinned as though he said something funny. "We aren't a drive thru, Mister Salvatore."

"I meant no offense. It's just been one of those nights."

"I'll see what I can do," Margaret answered, preparing once more to leave. He grasped her shoulder before she could, seeing her brows draw into a frown.

"If anyone out of the ordinary comes to visit her, anyone at all, anyone you don't recognize—"

"You'll be the first I call," she added, the compulsion having been swept into play as soon as they had arrived.

"Thank you," he replied and released her, offering her a small smile. Stefan turned back to Elena and moved to stand beside her bed, yet again taking her warm hand. "I'm sorry that I have to leave," he said in a tone that assumed she might be listening, that maybe she could hear what was going on around her and that it was driving her as crazy as the rest of them. "That you'll be here alone, but you'll be in good hands with Margaret." He smiled fondly, trusting for a second that he could hear her encouraging voice in his head, stressing the importance of being there for family, telling him to be there for Damon and to find Ric.

It's what she would have wanted, he knew, and what she would have done if the roles were reversed, and that made it easier to leave the hospital some five minutes later.

* * *

 

_(I'm trying to help him, Damon. I'm trying to set things right.)_

Damon heard Bonnie say over and over, like a broken record stuffed inside his head that refused to shut off or skip to the next stupid remark. He couldn't believe her, couldn't trust that Bonnie—of all people—was opposed to ripping that magic sucker's head clean off his shoulders. And why, because Bonnie was feeling guilty? Because she believed that enough blood had been spilled? Why now? Why after Kai had gone out of his way to ruin their lives? And more importantly, Elena's? Damon only just gotten Elena back! _His_ Elena! They'd only just been given the chance to start a new life together, to be human, to…

He didn't even want to think about it. Because Damon knew if he did, he'd sink deeper into despair and start to despise the witch. Bonnie didn't deserve that, she was his friend and one of the few people he now couldn't live without. He needed to remind himself of that, to remember that this wasn't her fault—that he, too, played a big part in it—and that karma was once again making him its bitch.

Damon curled his hands into tight fists. He craved to break something, to tuck into the nearest available artery and feed until he blacked out. Instead, he forced himself to focus on his rescue mission.

He took off, dashing for the cemetery he'd been gutted in and where, he was certain, he'd seen Alaric last. He could remember feeding Alaric his blood, but what if that had been conjured up in his head amidst that freak's torture? No, it couldn't be. Caroline was there, if Bonnie didn't see him, then her blonde friend would have sniffed him out.

He called Alaric once, taking a shot in the dark, hopeful that his friend might answer, and then called Stefan.

"How's my girl?" Damon asked as soon as the line opened to reference a connection.

"Unchanging," Stefan replied, sounding as happy about reporting that answer as Damon was to hear it.

"No hope, then?" Damon responded, feeling a cold hand clutch at his heart. "What ever happened to telling lies to make someone feel better? Are people too good to do that, anymore?"

"They have their best neurologist on the job," Stefan said, echoing Margaret's previous attempt at comfort, trying to abate the distress he read in his brother's quip and to adhere to his sarcastic enquiry.

"It's too late for that now, Stef. Try leading with that next time. Besides nothing less than a voodoo priestess is going to do the job," Damon jeered. "And regrettably our Priestess is all out of voodoo."

"Give her a break," Stefan said, understanding his frustrations. "Bonnie's dealing the best she can."

"Dealing? She's harboring that psychopath in our basement as if she's starring in her own whacked-out version of Pit Bulls and Parolees. That's not coping, Stefan, that's Bonnie being her decidedly annoying self!"

There was a lengthy pause as Stefan refused to concede to his growing temperament, a silence that comfortably stretched between them for a moment while Damon calmed down.

"Where are you?" Stefan asked, assuming Damon wasn't at the Boardinghouse any longer. He couldn't hear Caroline in the background, nor Bonnie, for that matter.

"You can stop brooding. I'm not going to wring the little witch's neck if that's what you're worried about."

"It's not," Stefan retorted, confident that, with all the time his brother spent with Bonnie in 1994 and everything he'd done in attempt to get her back, he wouldn't simply throw their friendship away.

"I'm at the cemetery. It's where I ran into Ric and the magical samurai last, and where I suspect he'll go back," Damon answered, sniffing the air, his ears straining for any sound of his friend's heartbeat or sound in general. "Call me if there's any change," he instructed as he hung up, picking up on what sounded like a scraping of metal against gravel. Was someone being buried? This late places like these used machinery and otherwise, but this sounded distinctly clumsy, like someone was struggling.

Damon ran toward the sound at full speed, using the cover of night to make things easier and stopped short of Ric's car, surprised to find himself back at the barn and his friend trying to dig a hole on the side of the road.

"Ric?" Damon hailed, trying to gain Alaric's attention. "What are you doing?" Not that there was any need; the back of the open truck, Jo's body and the ongoing attempt to cut through gravel said it all.

"I should have taken her away, I should have left when that first attack happened," Ric mumbled to himself.

"What attack?" Damon asked, wanting to get him talking and away from what he was doing.

"She trusted me. I told her we'd leave. That I'd get her out of here and that she'd be safe."

Damon had no way to respond and was at a loss for words.

"I failed her," Alaric murmured, raising the shovel once more, scowling as the metal slid off the surface. He took cautionary step, then another and eased onto the soft greenery just out of sight, his eyes frequently darting to the back of his trunk to make sure Jo was still there, afraid he'd look away and she wouldn't be there anymore.

It was as if he didn't even see Damon.

"Let me help you," Damon said, seeing the blood on Ric's hands from the way the wood violently slid out of his palms. He could hardly feel it or anything, and as Damon knew from experience – that in itself was wrong.

"No," Alaric snapped, answering him directly for the first time. "Just leave us alone."

"I'm not going anywhere."

For the next ten minutes Damon watched Alaric stab, step and toss sand and grass aside. He was getting nowhere fast and nor did he look like he'd be relenting anytime soon. Alaric could hardly hold the handle.

"You need to stop," Damon said, pushing away from where he'd been leaning against the unbroken part of the formerly sturdy fence. Alaric was doing himself more damage than good and this wasn't helping anymore.

Alaric said nothing, still digging, still working as though he were a human zombie.

"Ric," Damon attempted a second time, ambling toward him, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

Alaric didn't hesitate, his elbow snapping back to connect with Damon's nose, temporarily making the vampire see stars, and followed up by sweeping the shovel beneath his legs, unexpectedly knocking Damon's ass to the ground, driving the piece of wood into Damon's gut before he could even think to defend himself.

"I don't want you anywhere near her!" Alaric hissed, twisting the wood in his stomach, driving a pained cry from Damon's lips. "I don't want you anywhere near me!" He started away from Damon, leaving him to writhe in agony and went to collect Jo.

"Alaric… stop—" Damon gritted out, trying to forestall his friend's second escape, his hands weak, unable to push the wood out of his stomach, blood once more collecting in his mouth as he coughed.

There was a gust of wind, his eyes rolling as unconsciousness began to seep in and then the pain was gone, a clang filling his ears as metal connected with something thick.

Damon raised his head, surprised to see his younger brother looming over Alaric with the bloody shovel in hand. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Helping you."

"I had it covered."

"The ground, maybe," Stefan added, crouching beside Alaric, checking his head to make sure he hadn't injured him too badly. Damon joined him seconds later, rubbing at his stomach absently, feeling anger kick in at the reminder of how awful this night had been and how off his game he was.

"You okay?" Stefan asked, peering up at Damon.

"Can we not do the therapy session?"

Stefan said nothing, submitting to his request, and picked Alaric up, his eyes shifting to Jo. "We should find a car and get them to the boardinghouse."

Damon needed no further reason to walk away and started to search for their ride, his eyes scanning the mass graveyard of cars. In no time, he was driving one of them home.

* * *

 

"Feeling better?" Caroline asked when she heard Bonnie saunter into the parlor. She was seated on the couch facing the basement, legs crossed and rested upon another chair, a blood pack and chips positioned beside her.

"Damon around?" Bonnie asked, arching her eyebrows a little as Caroline peered over her shoulder.

"No," the blonde replied, trying to figure out if that would make a difference in her friend's approach.

"Then yes. A little," Bonnie responded, walking around the back of the sofa, lifting her feet onto the chair beside Caroline's as she sat down, snatching a handful of cheesy chips from the bowl in the blonde's lap. "Where'd you find these?"

"The pantry."

"Are you sure they're not stale?" Bonnie popped one into her mouth to try. Caroline unwearyingly awaited a verdict, regular food no longer holding the same taste it used to. She was a poor judge now. "Mhmm," Bonnie commented, assuring her the chips were fine as they fell into a comfortable silence.

"Are those Elena's boots?" Caroline queried, her eyes trained upon the shoes in question.

Bonnie nodded and popped another cheese curl in her mouth, following it up with a swift third and fourth. She was hungry, unclear of when she last ate since today had been quite frantic, even before all the mayhem. "As is the skirt and sweater," she added conversationally, motioning to both items with her free hand. "As soon as I can, I'll stop in at home and grab some fresh clothes."

"You better," Caroline deliberated. "It stinks." Bonnie automatically flicked a chip at her with feigned offense, Caroline's mouth falling open with subdued shock that soon turned playful. "Bonnie Bennett, don't start a war you can't finish."

Bonnie flicked another chip, grinning slightly. "That's for saying I stink."

"That's not what I meant," Caroline replied defensively, plucking the chip off her dress, using her free hand to wipe away the cheese flecks. "You do know these things are saturated in oil? And that it'll stain."

"You'll survive."

"Sure! But this dress and my budget won't."

"Your budget?" Bonnie asked naively, dusting her fingers off on the denim she was wearing.

"After my mother's treatments, hospital stays and checkups, we've racked up a fairly large bill."

"Oh… And you're expected to pay? There isn't any insurance in place?"

Caroline shrugged, uncertain of the answer or where to even start looking for such important documents. "Was there one with your father?"

"I'm not sure. I never looked into it." Neither of them had had the time to do so.

"What of his will?"

"I guess, I get the house? Both, in fact—"

"Both?"

"My grandmother's too."

"Right," Caroline said, the two of them falling silent again. Two years ago neither of them would have dreamed they'd be discussing their parents' deaths or their own before they were even twenty.

"I should probably got check on Kai and make sure he isn't plotting our demise or something," Bonnie said, stealing one last chip from the bowl before moving to a standing.

Caroline was already on her feet before she even registered that the blonde joined her. "Is that such a good idea?"

"You're babysitting me now?"

"No," Caroline replied, looking rather troubled and guilty.

"Okay then," Bonnie murmured, gliding past her, heading for the basement with a determined gait.

Caroline appeared in front of her, barricading the way. "It's just that Damon doesn't think it such a good idea you go back down there."

"Since when do you listen to Damon?" Bonnie asked, a light smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"Since he seems to care about you—"

"I'll be fine. Kai can't get out. Not unless you or I open the mystical door for him."

"Are you sure about that?"

"No. I'm not certain about anything where Kai is concerned," Bonnie reached out to take Caroline's shoulder, coercing her to step out of the way and to the side. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to stay up here and hide."

"Bonnie, please—"

"Caroline, I'm not planning to step into the cell with him – not again. I just want to see if he's woken up, that's all. It's a quick in and out."

"I don't hear anything," Caroline said, making a show of straining her ears, a hand lifted and cupped around her right one. "Maybe he decided to take a nap or maybe… I snapped something important."

"You mean like his neck? Yeah. He was within half an hour last time," Bonnie commented as she walked away from her friend, listening to her fall in line behind, unwilling to leave Bonnie alone down there again.

They hadn't gotten too far down the stairs when the front door slammed open and two recognizable voices could be heard from upstairs. Damon and Stefan. They were home.

Bonnie peered back at Caroline, her face indecipherable as she eavesdropped. "They got him. Alaric." She smiled with relief, turning around on the stairs, taking Caroline's offered hand as they quickly made their way back to the living room.

"Where did you find him?" Caroline asked as they sashayed into the parlor again. Damon appeared weary upon seeing them emerge from the basement, choosing to bite his tongue while he cradled Elena in his arms.

Bonnie examined him, rather confused by her presence when they'd decided to let the doctors take care of her a while longer. Damon made no move to explain and Caroline was too distracted to notice.

Bonnie knew he had a lot to say, too, and that their earlier bout was far from over. Damon promised they'd discuss it further and she knew from experience that when it came to proving his point, he wouldn't back down, not until he was sure he'd adequately doused her in his unwanted wisdom. She wasn't thrilled.

"He was just outside the barn. He did a one eighty and went back to bury Jo," Damon replied.

Guilt seeped into Bonnie at the recollection, which, she deemed, had a lot to do with the fact that Ric had seen her _stake_ Kai.

"Is he okay?" Caroline queried, whooshing up to Stefan's side as he laid the history teacher down on the couch. She did a hurried check of his injuries to make sure he wasn't seriously wounded.

"Only if you don't bear in mind that Stefan almost cracked his head open like a ripe melon," Damon remarked.

"I didn't hit him that hard," Stefan countered, sounding a touch exasperated and defensive. "Moreover, he didn't leave me any other choice and tried to kill you."

Damon shrugged, forgoing another jab at his brother's expense, and headed for the stairs. Bonnie could tell he was fuming.

"He'll be okay," Caroline added without looking up and in a soothing tone meant to put Stefan at ease.

"I made sure they gave him a sedative at the hospital," Stefan declared once his brother was out of earshot. "He was really out of it. I think—I think he reached a snapping point."

After all Alaric had been through, Bonnie wasn't surprised. She didn't think any of them were.

She approached the back of the chair and peered down, scrutinizing his slack face, the torment written over it even in his unconscious state. None of the scars Alaric retained tonight were external, they were all internal and caked in his psyche like a wicked footnote. She was doubtful he would ever be the same again.

"Where is Jo? I mean… the body," she asked, concerned that Ric's bride wouldn't get the burial she deserved and that in their haste they'd left her to rot in some hole on the side of the street.

"She's in the back of the car. I couldn't bring myself to leave her there and Ric… well, we thought it best to have some kind of insurance, something to make him see the light when he wakes up—"

"The light?"

"Bargaining chip. He is… in lack of better word: unstable."

Bonnie knew that broken down feeling, that hopelessness of being lost and without an anchor. She wanted to cry for him, to mourn Alaric's loss and simultaneously turn back the clock. But she knew it was impossible.

"Maybe you should take him upstairs?" she recommended, pushing aside the guilt she was feeling. "Damon's room is out of the question and I'm guessing your bed will be occupied with Elena for the night."

"We aren't going to—" Caroline began as she looked up from Alaric, hesitant of what to say or how to go about asking if they would be storing their friend like maturing meat.

Bonnie's heart ached just thinking about it. "No, I—I don't have it in me tonight. I'm kind of wiped," she said.

Stefan gazed at her considerately.

"And… I don't have a spell in place yet. I need to look and dig into things a little further. I'll get to it. I promise."

Caroline breathed a small sigh of relief, glancing back at Stefan who took that as a cue and once again bent to pick Alaric up off the couch. He looked as if he, too, had more to say, but decided against it for now as he started toward the staircase. Caroline followed.

"What's up with Damon's room?" Stefan asked absently, wrinkling his nose the more he became aware of an acquainted smell lingering in the air. "Is that—"

"Smoke?" Caroline contributed obligingly, once they started climbing the stairs. "Yes. But if I were you, I wouldn't fuss. Not now. Damon's already had a meltdown and I would hate to review that again."

"How?" Bonnie heard Stefan as his voice faded. She didn't hear Caroline's answer and nor did she need to. Caroline told him everything. She rarely – if ever – kept anything to herself, anymore. And especially not from Stefan.

Bonnie sat down on the back of the couch, smiling to herself slightly, entertained by the fact that Caroline temporarily forgot she was body-guarding her. Bonnie needed the breathing room, the space to think and decide what she was going to do now that Alaric was in the house. How was she going to tell him what she'd done? How was she going to look him in the eye and make him understand that Kai's death was off the menu?

Bonnie pushed off the couch after a minute's morbid contemplation and headed for the front door, stepping out into the drive, slowly approaching the unfamiliar looking car parked in the driveway. She closed the passenger doors, walked around the front of the vehicle and pulled the catch release beneath the driver's seat, the trunk lid jumping open within a second. She straightened up and started around back, peering inside with bated breath, studying the bride's face through the blue mesh.

Looking at her now, it was as if Bonnie couldn't believe that Jo died. Like with her father, it was too quick to be real. Jo had been so frantic this morning, unable to find her shoes and devastated when she found out her coordinator had gotten sick and was unable to help run things. Panic that lasted all of five minutes before Caroline swooped in and saved the day. They'd all been assigned tasks within minutes. That was also the reason Bonnie stayed behind, why she'd fallen behind on getting ready herself and why she'd been such an easy target. Bonnie didn't know Jo very well, in fact, she'd only known her a few days, but the doctor lady seemed like a pleasant woman, undeserving of the fate her brother offered her. And Bonnie unintentionally signed it for her by abandoning him in nineteen-o-three.

She reached out, driven by some innate force, slender fingers curling into the blue mesh, tugging at it gently to get a better look at Jo's pallid face, seeking some kind of consolation or reason to continue hating herself. 

* * *

 

"That should do it," Stefan said, tucking Alaric in while Caroline stuffed Saltzman's bloodied clothes into a plastic bag. They had changed him into Stefan's sweatpants and tee-shirt.

"You think we should stay here and watch him?" she asked. "What if he wakes up and just… just walks away same way he did from the cemetery?"

"No. That sedative shot they gave him should keep him asleep long enough for us to rest some. Besides, we'll be in the next room and will hear if he stirs."

Caroline sighed, propping the bag against the commode. "Too bad we don't have those baby monitors. Maybe we should get some, given how often we need to babysit everyone."

Stefan laughed quietly despite himself. Caroline's scowl softened into a responding smile as she walked into his embrace. And there, with his arms around her, she felt it was safe to loosen up a bit.

"I'm so tired," she whispered against his shoulder and didn't see his face darken a tad with empathy. "And confused… and… and scared. I'm so scared, Stefan." She leaned back a bit to see his face. "I was so scared today – and not even on the wedding – which was awful and horrible – but in that basement, with Bonnie… I… I thought…" The last dam on the way of her flood of confessions held a bit, bending into an arc like a bow with a string being drawn, and then cracked open like a rotten plank under the pressing waves of truths. Her eyes welled up, her lips quivered. "I thought she would die right there, in front of me, and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't… he… he put a barrier on the door, thought she injected him with some stuff… some potion that would bind his magic – well, it didn't! And she was just… he bit her. And she almost passed out. I…" She closed her eyes and let them flow, leaning back into his chest. He held her as she wept.

"But she's all right," he said in a quiet, soothing voice, stroking her hair. "She's fine, you saved her, right?" He frowned to himself subtly, musing about the barrier. How _did_ she save Bonnie?

"I snapped his neck," she uttered finally between her sobs. "Then wanted to rip his heart out, but she said no. She said no, Stefan." Anger crawled into her voice like an afternoon shadow, and when she leaned back again, her eyes were drying up. "She said he deserves a chance. He killed his pregnant sister, all his coven, enchanted our friend out of our lives for God knows how long – and out of Bonnie's life forever – and she decided to give him a chance! How…" Her arms fell off him and she threw them up in a gesture of indignation, then paced across the room. "Damon was pissed beyond nine hells, too. There's something else scaring me," she turned to look at him with narrowed eyes, as though not too certain of what she was about to let him in on. "She had that faint scent on her… I think she _liked_ it."

Stefan considered it, his eyes holding Caroline's. "So he was, what, gentle?"

Caroline winced with irritation and shook her head. "Who cares? It's Kai! The sociopathic vampire-witch murderer! How can she… I don't know. I just… can't." She shook her head again and picked up the bag.

Stefan wrapped an arm around her shoulder, drawing her to him. "She's exhausted, stressed out and confused. She needs to rest a bit and clear her head – none of us got a chance to do that tonight. Bonnie's the most reasonable person we know. She will sort it out for herself, and she won't be deaf to reason. Just give her a few hours of sleep."

"I wish she could be sedated for the night. She was heading back to the basement when you returned."

They closed the door to Alaric's bedroom and strolled down the corridor.

"She won't go there alone," Stefan said. "She's not crazy."

"I thought so, too," Caroline sighed and detached herself from him, shaking the bag in her hand. "Gonna dump this, and you make sure Bonnie and Damon aren't gnawing each other's throats, please?"

Stefan grinned, "It's my full-time job. Don't I love it."

She returned his grin and went ahead and down the stairs. Stefan rubbed his neck tiredly, the smile slipping off his mouth, and headed to the parlor just as he heard the front door open and close. 

* * *

 

"Curious to see the degree of the damage your boyfriend caused?" Damon asked from behind her. As always he'd made absolutely no sound and spoke only to breathe down Bonnie's neck. She got the impression that he liked intimidating her – that he liked daunting everyone.

She gasped softly and jerked her hand away, rebounding it off the side of the trunk like a thief who'd been caught with her hand in the register. She winced and took a hold of her fingertips, trying to appease their bruising ache as they healed.

"Careful, Bonbon. Those hands are valuable and still have a job to do."

She wasn't ready for that talk now, tears glistening in her eyes as she walked away from him a second time tonight and attempted to head for the house. He wasn't about to surrender the topic of conversation that easily and deliberately followed her.

"What… you're too scared to face the truth? Too frightened to see the reality of what you're trying to save? And the hopeless battle you have on your hands?" Damon scoffed as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing, his eyes narrowing on the back of her retreating head. "When did you become so damned selfish?"

Bonnie spun around as though slapped, her eyes blazing as his body flew back and banged into the side of the car. "Around the same time I realized that I can't count on anyone but myself."

Damon's eyes hardened instinctually, waiting for her to say something more, waiting for her to elaborate on when that was and to start an all-out war. "I did everything in my power to get you out of there."

She didn't have to think about what he was referring to. She knew. "And you did. If it wasn't for you I would probably still be there. But going back to that hellhole of an island, climbing that rock and descending into the belly of the beast a second time was an eye opener for me." It made her realize how much her life meant to her, how over she was dying for others and how adamant to put herself first. "He was still there you know—"

"Who? Silas?"

"Silas," she parroted, confirming his aforementioned speculation. "How do you think I managed to bring back the cure for you? It wasn't as if it was neatly placed on the floor."

"Then why did you—"

"Because I felt obliged and I wanted you to be happy. And Elena happy, makes you happy, right?"

Damon remained quiet, trying to measure the point of her argument and where this was leading for the present.

"There was no way I was supposed to be able to take that magic from that rock—I had none, and yet… I did. How? I don't know, I didn't question it at the time but sometimes I fear that maybe I re-woke Silas."

"That's impossible."

"Is it?"

"You told me he was sucked into the great black yonder."

She arched a brow, entertained by his attempt to thwart her unrelenting reservations. "And we weren't?"

Damon pinched the bridge of his nose, negating the repercussions of that and what it would mean for his baby brother, if, by some supernatural fluke, that were to be true. "Is that it then? All of this craziness with Kai stems from your fear of Silas? Of his control?"

Not of his control but of being controlled, dictated to and broken down. That's what Kai was doing to her now, what he'd done by linking Elena and her and threatened to do if he continued on his warpath. She needed to change that. She didn't even see Stefan exit the house in order to become a quiet spectator. "I don't expect someone like you to understand."

"Like me?"

Bonnie observed his face in the porch light, taking a moment to appreciate how affronted he looked, like he was ready to defend his delicate sensibilities for the umpteenth time.

"Like you. You remember Andie, don't you?"

"What does she have to do with anything?" he retorted, pulling a face of utter distaste.

Bonnie shook her head and turned around to face the door, flinching as he appeared in front of her. "What do you want from me?" she spat, irritated by his continual need to crowd her space.

"I want you to tell me the truth."

"What truth?"

"Why Kai? What's with the sudden sally saver routine?"

"I told you. I made a mistake. I'm trying to correct it the only way I can, the only way it seems feasible to me."

"By coddling him? By feeding him and possibly giving him a boner?"

Bonnie narrowed her eyes and pitched him through the front door, uncaring of how he painfully sprawled on his back. She hated talking to Damon when he was like this. He peered up at her as she made to step over him, and unexpectedly grabbed her ankle, sending her tumbling to the floor beside him. She yelped as she hit the wood.

"Not so fun being knocked around, is it?" he asked rhetorically and once she was able to spear him with a glare. He stood and offered her a hand.

She ignored it, bringing her legs beneath her body.

"You want to play nurse maid to that psychopath, then so be it, but don't expect me to do the same," he hissed, his eyes burning into her features with absolute assurance of his intended viciousness. "If I get my shot, I'll kill him."

Bonnie pushed off the floor, laughing softly as she did. "As if I expected anything more of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're predictable. That you have only once solution to everything in our lives and yours—and that's violence!"

"And he doesn't?"

"He doesn't know any fucking better! You and I spent four months in that place, me – six, and from experience, I can tell you that place has the potential to fuck you up."

"So now we're making excuses for him?"

"Of course not! But no human is born evil. Maybe, just maybe I'm coming to understand that. That his family, his situation and whatever else took a toll on him. You're not the only one with issues, Damon!"

"And I never claimed to be!"

"Could have fooled me," she uttered.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Not clearly. Is there something else you want to say, Bonnie Bennett? Something else on your mind?"

"You used me."

"What?" Damon asked, arching his eyebrows as if he hadn't heard her correctly. "Used you how?"

"You needed a witch to get you to nineteen-o-three. Kai wouldn't go. I wouldn't go. You spoon-fed me what I wanted to hear, what I needed to hear because you knew how scared I was. You knew I would take the bait."

"You're reaching—"

"Am I?" she interjected, fixing him with a narrow-eyed stare, still oblivious to the fact that Stefan was watching the two of them. "Admit it, Damon. Be honest for once in your fucking life and stop playing games with me!"

"I didn't. I… wouldn't. I just… I thought it would be easier, that with him gone and out of the picture completely that you'd be able to breathe."

"Did you know of the coven?" she asked, recalling a snippet of what Kai had told her in the forest. She didn't believe for a second that Alaric and Damon hadn't been sharing information with one another, they were friends and something as important as Jo's life being linked to Kai's had to be common knowledge.

"Bonnie—"

"Did you know?"

She could see the truth reflect in his eyes in the way he drew into himself, as if he was too afraid to voice it aloud and was instantly reverting to his usual know it all defense mechanism. "I thought that with Jo's power gone, that she'd be okay and that with the supernatural distance the link wouldn't be an issue. I thought it would okay and that I'd have my mother and you'd—"

Bonnie swallowed the sob forming in her throat, shocked and hurt by how willing her friend was to get blood on her hands, innocent people's blood, people who lay scattered around the barn like dead mice. She clenched her hands into fists, heat spiraling through her like an untamed sea as grief turned into anger. She took an unconscious step toward him planning to inflict pain, seeing his brows draw down in consideration, and felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder. _Stefan_.

She breathed through her nose, struggling to calm herself down, and read the empathic look of understanding in his green eyes and the warning that another part of herself would be chipped away. Bonnie refused to look at Damon any more than was necessary and turned her back on him, shrugging Stefan's hand off as she headed for the kitchen to get some water, feeling exhaustion seep in with every step. 

* * *

 

"Savior Stefan to the rescue," Damon muttered grouchily, turning away to walk toward the bar, snatching the bourbon off the counter. He unscrewed the cap, drinking from the bottle. "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Enough, Damon."

He snorted, taking another hearty swig.

"We need to go. We've a mess to clean up, officials to compel and a crime scene to demolish."

"You mean you haven't done that yet? I thought heroes were capable of doing things in a single bound."

Stefan stared at him straight-faced, appearing before him, snatching the bottle out of his hands. Damon didn't fight him on it, too focused on the inkling of punching him, his eyes narrowing contemptuously.

"Take Blondie," Damon added, reigning himself in, snatching the bottle back.

"Now is not the time for you to lose it. Lily is still out there looking a bunch of heretics that Kai has brought back with him. Killers just like him, monsters who are going to make our lives hell if we fall apart."

"You couldn't have saved this lecture for Bonnie? She's the one that needs it."

"What Bonnie needs is sleep. What you need is a reason to keep going," Stefan stated reasonably, seeing the look of distaste sweep across Damon's face. He hated being read and more importantly, he loathed Stefan being right. Stefan said no more, gesturing toward the door, meeting Caroline's eyes on the way out. She'd heard their conversation.

"What about Jo's body?" Damon asked on his way out. "We going to tow that around with us as a souvenir?"

"I'll err… take care of it," Caroline said, walking out behind them to retrieve it, feeling her own heart sink at the thought of dealing with the deceased woman and short-lived friend. 

* * *

 

Bonnie sat at the kitchen counter, sipping a cold glass of water and nibbling on a few grapes she found in the fridge. She couldn't stop thinking about her argument with Damon. She was so disenchanted, so ridiculously heartbroken – not only would she never see Elena again – but she sensed she'd lost Damon, too. He wasn't her favorite person before, and she certainly knew she wasn't his, but they grew closer, and there was a part of her that missed seeing him every day, that missed his insistent need to ply her with pancake after pancake. It wounded her to think that that part of their relationship was over, that where she could tell him how she was feeling or have him read her bad moods – he couldn't understand how lost she'd been. Bonnie supposed she couldn't blame him – he had a lot to deal with. Humanity-off Stefan, Sheriff Forbes, Lily and Elena. There wasn't room for Bonnie in that equation. Who knew if that would change now? And who knew if she would want it to?

She pushed away from the marble counter, throwing away the grapes castoff stems before returning the rest to the fridge and rinsing her glass – which she left to dry on the rack.

She headed back out into the foyer, stopping on her way upstairs when she noticed Caroline seated on the table she'd used for her legs earlier and that she was holding a lifeless Jo's hand. She looked like she'd been crying.

"One minute she's worried about chocolate staining her dress and the next… she's _just_ gone." Caroline said, sounding tearful, her traditional mask of optimism no longer present. "It happened so fast."

Bonnie knew that people thought Caroline to be some senseless joy machine that barely stopped to register grief, but she also knew it was the only way the blonde could cope. That when Caroline stopped pushing – like now – she would crumble. It happened with her father, something she'd distracted herself from by throwing herself into everyone else's issues. How she could even stand to look at Alaric Bonnie didn't know. He'd murdered her father – not willingly, but something had taken him over, something had driven him to that point and controlled him. Bonnie didn't need for Caroline to voice that out loud to know that it was a continued issue and that he would always remind her of that loss.

"I'm supposed to be faster, better, stronger… and yet I could do nothing for Jo or for Elena…"

"You're not a clairvoyant," Bonnie remarked, squatting beside her. "That's my job. Or at least it was."

Caroline chuckled as if she'd suddenly thought of something amusing.

Bonnie frowned.

"Remember that séance?" Caroline asked.

"You mean the one where I was possessed by a long lost relative hell-bent on thwarting Damon's evil plans?"

"That's the one. I was so scared then." And Bonnie could sense that despite her bravado, even with everything they witnessed and what they knew as vicious certainty – she still was. Bonnie was, too.

"You were terrified? It was your idea!"

Caroline smiled, looking a touch sheepish for putting her in that position in the first place – as if she wanted to apologize for the part she had in that.

"Don't," Bonnie said, dismissing Caroline's sudden insecurities. "If we start going into the 'I'm sorry for not being there for you' spiel we'll be here all night. There is a lot I wish I could have done for you too."

Caroline closed her eyes, swallowed thickly, and stood. "You think she's still around?" she asked, sparing a look around the parlor.

"Who? Jo? Without the other side?"

Caroline nodded slightly.

"I'm not sure. I don't suppose so—"

"Then where do you believe the supernatural dead go now?"

Bonnie took a moment to consider this, as if needed to contemplate a correct answer. "Heaven."

"Heaven?" she repeated, sounding unusually doubtful. "You believe in that? In God?"

"After everything we've seen? Absolutely. It's uplifting knowing once my life is over for good here, on this plane of existence, that I might find peace. Speaking from experience I'm not a fan of the other side."

Caroline frowned, looking wounded by the prospect of Bonnie's mortality, as if she hated being reminded of how many times she'd lost her friend and how close she'd come to the third time tonight. That was enough of that.

Bonnie brought her hands together and stood, too. "We should take her into the basement." Caroline's brows rose slowly, as if she were uncertain of Bonnie's motives. "It's cooler down there and should help with the decomposition and the smell—"

"Oh," she said, flushing slightly. "You'd think I know that by now."

"I think it's safe to say that not being used to death and everything in between is okay."

Caroline scooped Jo off the couch, her eyes fixed ahead as Bonnie lead her down into the basement. They were unhurried and cautious, both afraid that Kai might be lurking in the shadows readying to pounce. She set Jo down on the floor of the second cell. It was devoid of furnishings but far more spacious than the one Kai was in and served as a supernatural suite that held both Elijah, Katherine and Rebekah in the past.

Bonnie crouched beside Jo and helped Caroline smooth the blue mesh over her face again. "Stragulum hac anima," she murmured, closing her eyes.

Caroline straightened up, her arms folding across her chest protectively. She'd never been an enthusiast of magic and if she were honest – it frightened her. She had seen what it can do and was a walking-talking example of it.

"Custodi illam foramen," Bonnie repeated the words with more vehemence, concentrating on Jo and the cloth laid over her, feeling a synthetic wind appear in the cell and sweep around them. Caroline shivered, observing with a mix of awe as the cloth tucked in around Jo, cocooning her frame within its thin fold as though she were a modern day Snow White.

"What did you do?" Caroline asked once Bonnie opened her eyes and appeared to relax.

"I slowed down the decomposition. Ric's going to be out of it awhile and with Elena…"

"There won't be much time to get to Jo straight away," she settled, voicing Bonnie's thoughts aloud.

"Precisely," Bonnie said, pushing off the ground, dusting off her knees as she started out of the cell. She walked ahead of the blonde and stole a glance inside Kai's cell. He was no longer on the floor and had moved to the cot. He'd given up? Bonnie checked the salt line, making sure it hadn't been disturbed, and took a step back, sensing Caroline's weariness, as if she feared Bonnie would take a step inside for some unknown reason as though she had developed a death wish. Bonnie didn't and had no such inclination – not tonight. They needed rest, both of them.

"I'll speak to you in the morning?" Bonnie said, ascending the stairs once more and stepping into the hallway.

"Goodnight, Bonnie."

"Goodnight, Care," she said, throwing her a passing look over the shoulder.

When Caroline was gone, she removed her phone, called Stefan to check on him and make sure he wouldn't need her help with compelling people, with talking to anyone at the station, and then claimed her own bed for the night. **  
**

* * *

 

Kai had been floating in that light state of dreaming where no visions that came felt real enough. They were like figures in the mist, ever shifting, changing, fleeting. Before your eye registers a familiar shape, it morphs into something utterly different. In there, between faint veils of fantasies, he heard the thud of a door, then voices that gained more familiarity the more they pulled him out of his slumber. Seemed like the searching party had returned. Kai could hear Damon, Stefan, Caroline and Bonnie conversing as he lay with his eyes closed, still relishing in the relaxation the remnants of sleep provided, unwilling to disturb it by more activity yet.

And what would he need the activity for now, anyway? It still wasn't his turn to make a move in this little game.

It wasn't long before a pair of footfalls descended the basement stairs and shuffled to one of the cells. He heard Bonnie chant in a quiet voice. It was a preservation spell. Probably, for Jo's body. Their conversation after Caroline asked her what she did, confirmed his guess.

"I slowed down the decomposition," Bonnie responded. "Ric's going to be out of it awhile and with Elena—"

"—there won't be much time to get to Jo straight away," Caroline caught up.

"Precisely."

They walked and stood at his cell, peeking in, he presumed. Kai still kept his eyes closed and didn't move. But he could sense her eyes on him. He wondered what she was thinking, what conflicts were stirring in her heart and which side was winning the favors. He had an idea that if he was still breathing, the side he placed his bet on had pretty nice chances on this round of the race.

Neither of them said anything as they turned and left in a bit.

"I'll speak to you in the morning?" Bonnie's voice drifted from the stairs, fading subtly.

_"Goodnight, Bonnie."_

_"Goodnight, Care."_

Kai lay still for another hour and a half until all sounds settled into silence disturbed by timid thuds of hearts that were like breaths of the sleeping. He squatted down beside the salt border, holding a hand out, his fingertips touching the crystals. It stung like acid, but he ignored the pain, closing his eyes and concentrating on the energy powering the barrier. Once his focus locked on it, the stinging started to abate. A shiver of pleasure traveled through him along with the magic seeping in. When it was done, he shrugged the denim jacket off, tossed it on the cot and slipped out.

The fire damage appeared to have concentrated in Damon's room, which looked like a special cell of the ninth hell circle. His bed lay in charcoal ruins, no spot untouched by black and stink. Even though Kai had hoped for more destruction, that room alone was a blow hard enough for Damon Salvatore to take.

Kai peeled off the tee-shirt Caroline had ruined earlier and dropped it on the pile of black coals that had been Damon's cupboard before turning his feet to another brother's bedroom. Unexpectedly, it had been turned into a Sleeping Beauty tower. Elena slumbered serenely on Stefan's bed, her hands folded on her belly. Kai fished a fresh sweatshirt out of the drawer and put it on. "Just don't tell Stefan," he mouthed to Elena, smiling as he closed the door soundlessly behind him.

Bonnie's face was not quite as serene as her friend's. A fleeting frown touched her forehead between the eyebrows every now and then as she dipped deeper in slumber and whatever she had been seeing saturated its colors for her inner eye. It was a great temptation to submerge a finger or two into that bowl of her dreams and stir their waters, but Kai resisted. Her own mind would do a better job at that. What he didn't resist was crouching by the head of her bed and watching her sleep for a while. And while she had been watching her dreams, he indulged in his, remembering the feeling of her skin under his lips, the taste of her blood on his tongue, the beating of her heart against his own. He reached out and caressed a finger-pad across her slightly parted lips, a delicate smile glimmering in the corners of his mouth. Her heart picked up a trifle, coaxing a fracture of wakening.

"Plucky little witchling," he whispered into her ear so softly it might as well have been a dream.

A few hair shifted at her temple under a breath of air when he ghosted away from her room.

His palm hummed with energy as he took it away from the salt. Kai had bound the barrier to Bonnie's blood only – he didn't think Caroline would know how to check, nor need to. He put the denim jacket back on over the new sweatshirt and sprawled on the cot for more shuteye with a relaxed sigh.


	13. Chapter 13

"Ligandi atque hanc animam precor," Bonnie said in preparation of Elena's sealing spell, reading the words aloud over and over on the piece of paper she'd scrawled it on the night before, making certain her pronunciation was correct. She didn't want any more mistakes. "Ab iniuria et totum."

Caroline and Stefan progressively circled her in silence, placing candles upon the thin ledge that ran along the inside of the crypt, lighting them as she'd previously requested.

Damon was gone, skipping the last step of their goodbye to Elena, making himself scarce as soon as the lid closed on her prison. He didn't want to be around when they locked away his budding happily-ever-after.

Matt couldn't stick around either, he was distraught and doing his best keep Tyler together. Whom, like Alaric, appeared to be livid, devastated and unintelligible once awoken, a volatile mixture of emotions one would expect from a man that lost his wife, or from a guy who had been forced to kill his girlfriend in order to survive.

Jeremy had come, had his moment with Elena, barely looked Bonnie in the eye, and was gone again. He said not a word to Bonnie, not even a 'hi', which made her think he was still mad. She didn't blame him.

Bonnie set the piece of paper down and rubbed at her stinging eyes. She hardly remembered sleeping as her brain had been too active in its need to replay every nitty-gritty detail of last night's events. It started the same: her leaving Kai in the nineteen-o-three, his mass revenge, and then the ending, the culmination that became seedier with Damon and Caroline's provoking accusations. Bonnie didn't read into it, she refused, but somehow she harbored a lot of guilt anyway, like she was doing something wrong and that it wasn't her subconscious running away from her to give life to the nightmares they'd implanted in her head. She wanted to talk to Caroline about it, to air the accumulative feeling that came from the bite, yet the blonde's previous reaction stuck with her. What if Caroline again suspected her of harboring some unexpressed feeling for Kai? What if her friend turned on her like Damon did?

It reminded Bonnie of something her grandmother used to say and believed in. Voicing your issue would manifest it and give it a face. Bonnie didn't want that, she didn't need that hold trying to suffocate her. It was bad enough she couldn't stop thinking about him finding another way to hinder her salt barrier, and that he'd kill them in their sleep, or more specifically, everyone else. At this point in time, Bonnie suspected he wanted nothing more than to torment her, and that like any decent horror movie villain types, Kai probably planned to save her for the last.

But then why in her dream, when Kai finally stepped away from her, did he look at peace? Like he was prepared to die? Or was that merely her head playing tricks on her, giving her some silly view of what she wanted to see? It was laughable, really, as she didn't see him giving Stefan a run for his money in the hero department, and yet Bonnie knew she expected a certain degree of good from Kai in order for this to work, the same way she anticipated it from Damon or anyone else in their lives.

It was a lot to undertake in less than twenty-four hours and there was no end in sight – not anytime soon.

"We're done. Now what?" Caroline folded the packet she was holding, stuffing it into Stefan's right side jacket pocket. He didn't seem at all bothered or surprised by what she did.

"Now you two go home," Bonnie said. Elena's coffin was placed in the delineated hole in the crypt wall and all that was left to do was to set the blank headstone.

Both Caroline and Stefan appeared muddled by the announcement.

Caroline looked apprehensive. "The last time I left you alone—"

"Those were different circumstances," Bonnie retorted, cutting short her unease, casting a glance at Stefan, hoping to find of the usual support in him. He gave her neither this time as though he, too, feared for her life. "I'm not going to kill myself, guys."

"No one said you would," said Stefan. "It's just that after last night and after what Damon said, we just want to make sure you're okay and that you know we don't expect some kind of sleeping beauty miracle."

Bonnie smiled a little, unable to help it, incapable of accepting that for the first time in a very long time, she didn't feel pressured to give into the responsibility bait thrown at her.

Bringing people back from the dead was impossible and, as her grandmother reminded her time and time again over the years, unnatural. In all reality Bonnie shouldn't be here, she shouldn't have been able to get to that prison world and she sure as hell shouldn't haven been allowed another chance at life after she threw it away. Yet she was. If she'd come to learn anything from her time in the prison world, it was that she needed to stop letting people use her, manipulate her and otherwise coax her into devaluing her own life.

"Trust me, I have outgrown suicide missions. I won't push myself," Bonnie felt obliged to add.

Neither looked convinced, not with her past conviction and the volatile figure bunking in Stefan's basement.

"Fine," Caroline said after a second's consideration, taking a hold of the younger Salvatore's hand, tugging him toward the crypt's entrance. He didn't fight her. "We'll wait outside."

Bonnie wanted to tell her she could do with the walk home to clear her head and that she needed some time to think of how best to tackle Kai next. She didn't get the chance and knew Caroline wouldn't take it. 

* * *

 

Bonnie emerged from the burial chamber ten minutes later, spreading her arms at her sides to display she was in one piece. Both Caroline and Stefan looked appeased and threw her an indecipherable smile before walking away. Bonnie frowned slightly at their reaction, taking a step forward to trail after them, and caught sight of something or someone approaching her from her left. It was only as she turned to look that her heart leapt into her throat.

"Jeremy?" she said and stopped, taking in the handsome planes of his face and how he seemed to have changed with his time away, he even had a hint of stubble growing, like he hadn't seen a razor in a few days. "What are you doing here? I thought you left. I mean… are you here to see Elena?" He'd already seen her, but Bonnie assumed—since he was here—he might want to see that she was secure.

"Yeah, I—" he seemed at a loss for words as if he were trying to come up with something to say. Bonnie longed to hug him, to feel his arms around her and have him do away with this discomforting awkwardness growing between them. "I was gone. I mean, I am still going and was at the 'you're now leaving mystic falls' sign when Matt told me you were here and suggested I talk to you."

"Oh," she reacted, feeling a hint of indignation wash over her. She scolded herself immediately. She brought this attitude and distance on herself. She was the one who told Jeremy over the phone that he'd never see her again. But at the time it seemed the most logical. What would he have been able to do aside from mourn her early? They'd had enough of those memories to serve them a lifetime, and selfishly, she wanted to make new ones, to make their last few days stand out. And it had been good. At least for her.

"Not that I didn't want to," he replied, taking into account the look that swept onto her face.

"I could tell."

"Bonnie—"

"It's okay," she said, cutting him off with a dismissive wave of her hand. She didn't want to hear some guilt-driven apology and nor was she expecting one. "I get it."

"I just… with everything that's happened to Elena, seeing you—it seemed easier to make a run for it."

That, Bonnie knew, was a Gilbert trait. They never faced their issues head on, they played around it, worked their way up to it until it was too late or someone else got hurt in the process.

"You don't owe me an explanation," she countered.

He peered down at the ground, stealing a glance at the crypt and then in the direction Caroline and Stefan walked off. "I missed you," he said once his eyes settled on her again.

Bonnie found herself incapable of believing that as she'd heard all about his sleazy coping methods. Humanity-off Caroline had spilled the beans. Bonnie shouldn't have been surprised, sex was and always had been Jeremy's go-to means of resolving things. And she, too, had been guilty of using it, using him, as a means of comfort. That was what she did in her last few days, wasn't it? She took all she could from him and prayed that it would blanket her from the unavoidable, and yet, it did nothing to stave that fear or to ready her for death. She didn't suppose anyone would be ready when they're staring it in the face, when there is no way or means to turn back.

"I missed you, too," she said, smiling back softly.

They stayed staring at one another for a few seconds, neither moving to hug the other or provide them with comfort, no longer knowing how. Could they fall into those patterns when they hadn't been there for each other in so long? Would it be that simple after everything Bonnie did? She knew she didn't want it, that she needed to find a means to stand on her own two feet without relying on anyone else for emotional sustenance. It's what she needed in the past, what she felt—and could now admit—he didn't understand, and why she stuck to their relationship for so long, even when she couldn't trust him in some aspects. _Unimportant_ aspects.

"I should get going," she said, snapping out of her musing, gesturing to the right and in direction of the small car park nestled within the line of trees. "Caroline and Stefan are probably waiting for me."

"Actually I told them I would take you home. That's okay, right?"

She nodded and smiled to herself as she turned away from him, slowly walking back to the grungy parking area.

"Elena's car?" Bonnie climbed into the passenger seat, pulled the door and her seatbelt on.

"Alaric gave it to me," he said and slid the keys into the ignition, a McDonald's packet lying strewn in the backseat, along with an open clothes bag and Elena's laptop.

"Oh." Ric was a mess this morning, quick in his goodbye and hardly coherent. "Did he say anything to you about last night? He hasn't been talking much and we're all really worried."

"You mean about Jo? About his life being over? No."

"Then how did the keys come about?"

"He threw them at my head."

"You're kidding me," Bonnie said with a subtle frown, not liking the fact that Alaric still appeared so violent or indifferent. That was unlike him and from what she'd seen yesterday – not at all good for any of them.

"Actually, I am. Damon gave it to me."

She arched a brow, surprised that Damon would think to do anything for Jeremy now that Elena was gone.

"I didn't leave him with much of a choice," he explained, his hands resting on the steering wheel as he turned to regard me again. "So where to?"

"The Boardinghouse."

"You're living there now?"

"No. Well… sort of camping out."

"Why?" Not at all subtle in his approach, like he was fishing for something he already knew.

"I guess I spent so much time there in nineteen-ninety-four that it feels like home now."

He looked interested but made no attempt to enquire about it. She hated that.

"And that's it?"

She chuckled softly, reaching forward to turn on the radio, unaffected by the look of offense that flashed across his face. She couldn't bring herself to feel guilty for what she was doing or planned to do for Kai. "What more is there?"

"How about the psychopath you're keeping locked up in their basement?" he asked, purposely busying himself with the steering as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Who spilled? Damon or Matt?"

He didn't look happy to tell, and for a moment she could see he was wrestling with the notion. "Damon."

"Is that why you're here, then? Why you came to the cemetery?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She threw him a glance. If he wanted to make sure she was okay, he could have spoken to her this morning when he'd seen her and before he decided to hightail it out of town. He hadn't.

"Also Damon thought I might be able to talk some sense into you."

She folded her arms across her chest and stared out the window. She wished they got there already. "I don't need a lecture."

"And I'm not going to give you one, Bonnie. But he killed Jo, he linked you and Elena, and he's the reason my sister can't be here anymore. Why she's stuck rotting in some coffin for the next however many years!"

Bonnie understood his anger and she knew anything she said from here on would make zero sense to him. "I know." She drew in a small breath. "But will murdering him solve anything? Does that not make us exactly like him? Like Damon? I've been there, Jeremy. I did it. That's why we're here to begin with and I'm trying to fix it."

"Trying to fix what, exactly?"

"I guess…" She gave some serious thought to the question everyone was plaguing her with. "Us."

We were both broken by each other. Who else was there to fix it?

Jeremy was silent the rest of the way to the Boardinghouse. Bonnie could tell he was still mad and wanted nothing more than to practice his hunter moves on Kai. He could be stubborn when he set his mind to something and she could tell that she'd lost him to whatever Damon force-fed him.

She climbed out of the car as soon as it pulled into the drive, walking around the front, planning to see him off, to reassure him that everything would be okay, and frowned as he got out. "You don't have to see me in."

"I'm not. Damon said I could stay for a few days. That it would probably help with Alaric—"

"What? Here?"

"You don't want me here?"

Actually, she didn't. Not if Kai was going to be running around. She couldn't trust him yet, and after seeing what Kai did to Tyler, she was afraid of what Jeremy would do—what he'd provoke.

"It's not that—" she started, seeing a knowing look flitter onto his face, as if he'd sensed her disapproval.

"I thought you were repairing him," Jeremy said.

"He isn't a dust buster," Bonnie retorted, unable to contain annoyance. "He's a person."

"A murderous bloodsucker witch of a person."

"Jeremy, please… I don't want to argue with you—"

"What is there to argue about? You've clearly got your hands full. You need help."

"I don't." Not the kind she was sure he'd want to give her. "Caroline is spotter."

"Okay," Jeremy moved to the back of the car, heaving his unzipped bag from the backseat.

"I'm not kidding about this, Jeremy."

"I know… and neither am I. I told you. I'm here for Alaric."

"You also told me you were leaving."

He shrugged and slammed the passenger door closed, slinging the bag over his shoulder as he went for the driver's door, removing the keys, locking the car, and pocketing it. Bonnie sighed, peering around, searching for Caroline or Stefan's car, and saw none. She guessed they hadn't made it back, yet. She headed for the front door, trailing after Jeremy, watching as he walked ahead and upstairs to claim his room. She didn't follow him, seeing no point in talking anymore and headed for the basement, desperate to make sure Kai was still there and not lurking around the house as she feared or had dreamed all night. 

* * *

 

By the animation and voices sounding from upstairs, Kai knew the morning came.

He hadn't moved much ever since he lay down on the cot and drifted off. He couldn't truly sleep any longer, so he kept himself dipped in a deep meditative state that allowed him to ignore the growing hunger. The Boardinghouse inhabitants left, and there was silence for long enough time if he wanted to get out and feed, but he wasn't inclined to cheat that much. He was still waiting to see their next step.

When the voices came back, he felt as good as asleep. They talked, and it came like a sound of a TV from another room when you are trying to catch some shuteye. A bit irritating, but not too much of a bother. Hunger was pretty demanding by then, and he found himself reluctant to surface and change his position with an arm beneath his head and another hand resting on his stomach. Vaguely, he recognized Jeremy's voice, but the words he uttered Kai ignored, not too interested. There was Bonnie's voice, too – arguing with him, from the tone of it, but Kai still didn't care much. He had a feeling he knew what it was about, anyway. Like a movie he had seen as a kid and could recollect if he wanted.

Soon enough someone approached the cell. Her faint scent tickled his nostrils, coaxing him to reality. However, he made no hint to let her know he was awake yet. He lay as he did with his eyes closed and waited.

Bonnie peered down at the undisturbed salt line as she approached the cell and then cast a glance inside. Was Kai still sleeping? It seemed highly unlikely, considering everything that happened today and the fact that he'd been without blood for so long. Also, he'd never been this silent, not even in nineteen-ninety-four when he was giving them the conversation go-around. Why wasn't he raging? Why wasn't he trying to blow up the house? Was the vervain still weakening him?

She stood there awhile, studying him, and he could literally sense her scrutiny like subtle charges tickling his skin. At last, she ventured with words.

"Can I assume you're waiting for me to step inside to check on you?" She narrowed her eyes on his figure, taking in his closed eyes and the practiced serenity on his face. He looked asleep. But even she knew that predators liked to lay in wait, and he'd been one long before he actually became one. "Because I can assure you that won't be happening." Not if she could help it or was able to keep a safe distance.

It was a little bit funny to him, and even a little bit pathetic, in a way someone chased up a tree by a pack of hungry wolves would lecture them from a cracked branch how they would never get to sink their teeth in her ass. The branch would crack eventually, and down she'll go.

Kai didn't stir or indicate he was awake. Inside the bubble of serenity and stillness he had cocooned himself in, he felt too good to make a useless effort.

When Kai didn't move at the sound of her voice, she opened her mouth to call him, to wake him up the conventional way. And yet some inkling of annoyance held her back. This wasn't some ill-timed sleepover. He was her hostage—well, sort of – at least until she could figure out how to get him to cooperate without gutting anyone.

Through the thick walls of his bubble, Kai still could catch a whiff of her uncertainty and wonder and wariness, all twirling together like differently colored coils of smoke.

Bonnie took a few deliberate steps away from the door and headed over to the freezer, wrenching free the unfinished blood bag from yesterday, eyeing the remaining contents wearily. She assumed he'd scent it and that unknowingly, if he was still asleep, those newfound senses of his would kick into overdrive.

"You must be hungry by now," she stated, nearing the door once more, pouring the blood out onto the dirty cement floor, really feeling the need to make an impact.

Liquid hit the floor, deafeningly in the quiet of the basement and echoing off the walls. The smell reached him and wrapped around his senses thickly, layer by layer, pulling at his guts. He stirred not, however – if he did, it was going to be worse. The smallest of smiles yet touched the corners of his mouth. "Not enough to salivate like a dog and dance before you on my hinder legs, tail waggling, for a rotten canned meal. I do prefer it warm and alive."

Bonnie couldn't help the small smile of satisfaction that spread onto her lips once he responded, euphoria that dimmed as his eyes opened lazily at half-mast to focus on her. He looked too relaxed, like he'd been waiting to see what she'd do.

"Have you slept well? You don't really look perky enough to tease me like you dare."

"Considering yesterday's gory adventure and the fact that I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends at the crack of dawn, I would say I look a lot like I feel. You on the other hand, don't look half as rundown or rabid as I expected," She closed her hand around the top of the plastic blood pack to seal it off and stared at him inquisitively, half-expecting a threat or an ultimatum.

Why wasn't he pulling this place apart brick by brick to get out? Most did. But not Kai. Maybe he was tired? Perhaps their little feasting session had gotten to him and he was starting to reconsider his actions? Could she be that hopeful? She guessed she had to start somewhere.

"You had a chance to escape last night, to make a run for it… and yet, you're still here."

Kai thought of his little night trip upstairs, peering at her with the same unchanging serene face.

"Not that I'm complaining, I prefer knowing where you are. I'm just… I'm inquisitive." And then, as if it should have been obvious enough, another thought came to her. "Is it the heretics? Are you waiting for them to make their grand entrance to save you? Because if so… they aren't here, Lily couldn't find them. They never made it." Or at least she thought they hadn't. Stefan had said as much. His mother was still out searching. Who knew what she was still doing? So long as she stayed away from Bonnie, FAR away, Bonnie didn't care.

Kai smiled a little. He knew about the heretics, about Lily, and none of it mattered to him. He knew how every question Bonnie offered him nibbled at her mind every moment she let it, and he liked her inquisitive. He liked her interest, even if it had to contain a bitter note of wariness and mistrust. That bitter note didn't spoil the dish. He could have talked – she got too used to his talking and expected it to start happening soon if she coaxed with questions – but at that moment, talking seemed an excessive effort. There were no clues he was eager to throw at her.

And so he smiled, and said nothing.

Bonnie furrowed her eyebrows when he didn't start rambling as he usually would. What was he doing now? Taking a vow of silence? Impossible! Or was it that she'd figured it out? That alarmed her. If the heretics were anything like Kai, if they were loitering around or something, then Bonnie's friends were screwed. She could barely contain Kai—or at least it had taken a hell of a lot of effort—she could only imagine how many others there were.

She stepped away from the doorway, turning her back on him, and went to retrieve another blood pack. She kept her back to him as she moved, heading toward the next cell where there was a new batch of vervain being grown. They needed it for their arsenal, along with wolfsbane also growing in there.

She glanced down at Jo and swallowed heavily, shaking off the morbidity that consumed her as she worked, crushing off the vervain to carefully throw it into the blood pack. It would sting as he drank, that was an unfortunate guarantee and something she wished he wouldn't be aware of, but what else was there to do? She couldn't afford to feed him and have him build strength. It was safer this way. She popped of the raw leaf into her mouth for extra measure, grimacing at the taste as she swallowed.

She closed the pack again, squeezing it to make sure it was okay and wouldn't break if she were to toss it, and headed back toward his cell. She tossed it inside without a word, suspecting it would be enough of a white flag for him to start talking and do away with his continued silence.

Kai never turned his eyes from her to watch the pack's short trajectory before it plopped on the floor like a dead thing. "I'm not your pet in a zoo, Bonnie, and don't pick up my food from the floor. The only chance to feed me off your palm goes with the offer of a live blood from your vein."

"I'm not trying to treat you like a housebroken pet," she argued, ignoring his comment about feeding from her and the anxious ache that shot through. She almost lost the ability to talk just thinking back on it. Bonnie glanced down at the pack on the floor, feeling as though its presence in some way contradicted what she was trying to do now that he mentioned it. "Think of it more as a bribe to get you talking and a way of making you comfortable? Besides Damon, Stefan and Caroline all live off this stuff, it just takes some getting used to. Also, it's less messy and easier on the population. Like takeaway. Phasmatus adducam." The pack shot from the floor and into her right hand. She dusted it off, wiping it on her shirt, making sure no dirt clung to it, and allowed for a smile to twitch onto her lips invitingly. "Moreover… I'm on vervain now, it wouldn't do you any good to feed on me."

"You like to decide for others, huh? The way everybody decides for you all your life?" Kai let out a quiet hem, as close to a laugh as he was willing to come. "I'm not your vampire friends, and I don't settle for what I don't want. Besides, you did offer it yourself, back in the barn. What, taking it back?"

She scowled momentarily, then composed herself back to a friendly mien. A hint of pretense Kai found himself disliking yet again.

"That was a one-time snack option," she said, glancing down at the pack, holding it between her two hands in an idle attempt to warm it up and rid it of its chill. "I wasn't exactly looking at it extensively. In fact, I can admit that it was nothing more of a martyring stall tactic. I was looking at saving some other girl or boy's poor neck—" Not that it worked. But it was the truth. "Here, now… different, more civilized scenario." She hugged the cool pack against her chest as if it were a suitable miss cuddles replacement and then dangled it between index and middle. "Why not be adventurous and explore your options? I could microwave it?"

Kai winced in a feeble disgust. "I've had a pack earlier and know I won't be having any more. That's final, so it's either you or whoever else I find to feed on – your choice."

'Did he miss the part where vervain was flowing in my system?' she reflected. And why was he talking as though he had options? He couldn't get out. She glanced down at the border of blood-red sand and then back to his relaxed state.

With the demeanor Kai upheld, he might have come off as too lazy to pay attention, but in truth, he did pay a lot of it to every detail. He noticed the ghost of surprise and dismay in her gaze at his condition. He noticed her eyes flick down to the salt border, assessing it, then back to him with a hint of disbelief and doubt. He could see her battling with herself or common sense while considering her options.

"Fine," she said after a lengthy consideration, deciding it best not to rile him up and make him uncooperative. She knew that wouldn't get them anywhere and they could play these games all day. "But from my palm or wrist only. No neck."

She glanced down at her hand, studying it, wondering if it would be painful, if it would nullify the neck bite and the sensations it stirred—and those damned commentaries—and keep things in perspective. "Deal?"

Kai let her stew for a few moments as he considered. He wasn't happy about it and didn't see why he had to resign himself to things he didn't want to accept. "As you said, I should explore my options, so I suppose I can take your wrist this once as a compromise, or a token of good will, you might say. But further on, I do insist on the neck."

Bonnie opened her mouth to object to his conditions. How was that even fair? It was her body, it should be her choice where he feeds from, especially if it was good-naturedly.

A small sneer creased his mouth. "Not without your presentation back in the barn, by the way. The image of that generous offering you made is forever scorched into my mind. All actions have consequences, you know. And so it does, now."

She gave a soft sound of disbelief. He hadn't wanted to bite her then, he'd openly dismissed the option, and now, unexpectedly, she was facing penalties? She didn't like it, she didn't like that Kai thought he was able to negotiate and take a semblance of control.

"You were so brave, so noble when you told me it'd be you or no one. It won me over. You aren't gonna take that away, are you, Bon? An act of higher sacrifice for higher good? For saving lives? Are you still into saving lives, Bon?"

"I'm still here, am I not?" she retorted. She ventured a look at the stairs, making sure they were still alone, not that she expected anyone—other than Caroline—to walk in on them. She didn't want to get caught feeding him, not when they were so quick to jump to assumptions and make things even more uncomfortable. Bonnie turned back to look at him, he still hadn't moved and she wasn't ready to cross the bloodied border again. She extended her right hand palm-up and beckoned him over wordlessly, aware that — like last time — he could very well pull her inside, but believing he wouldn't.

Kai smiled and made a tsking sound. "Aw, come on, Banzai. Trust breeds trust, remember? Your words. Come in here."

Bonnie licked her unexpectedly dry lips but made no move to lower her arm. Kai was right, that was what she'd been saying and yet she couldn't bring herself to heed his sardonic suggestion. He could turn on her on a dime. "And as we established, trust isn't something you or I can just hand over. Baby steps," she said, attempting to stand her ground and take back the control she'd undoubtedly lost the night before. "Besides, I'm still smarting from your last feeding session." She let him interpret that any way he chose, without explaining or further highlighting the subject. "I feel safer this side of the door."

"I'm disappointed, Bonnie. You locked me up in a cold, damp basement cell in the house full of people eager to kill me, and there you are talking about feeling safer?"

Put like that, it did sound a bit ridiculous, she thought, or it would, if he wasn't so powerful.

"I believe I'm the one with deeper trust issues here," he said, "given the very betrayal of yours that drove me to the things I've done. If you believe in your mission, you will come in and have no fear. I'm beyond trusting words. I'm more into actions these days."

She lowered her arm and pensively studied a spec of dirt on the floor, powerless to deflect the guilt that kicked in. Bonnie knew he was manipulating her, that he was going hard at getting what he wanted, and yet she still swayed. Then she stepped over the invisible border and into the confines of the cell, forcing herself to take security in the fact that there was vervain in her bloodstream. "I took a leap," she said, making no move to approach the cot, forcing herself to remain confident in spite of the urge she felt to jump back over the line. "You going to meet me halfway or keep pulling at those strings?"

Kai couldn't help a quiet laugh, swaying his legs off the cot. "Is that a leap? Looks more like a flinch." He got up and started towards her slowly. "Are you that afraid of me?"

Bonnie could admit to herself that she was. From the moment Kai revealed who he was, logic told her to be weary and she suspected she would never entirely shake herself free of it. _Not when what he's done is still so fresh in my mind._

"Or is it your friends stuffing you with their fears every minute of every day as if you're a toddler unable to think on your own? Tell me something, Bonnie – or better tell that to yourself: when was the last time they let you make a choice and follow it through without a friendly intervention? When was it not them who dictated you when you should live or die or throw your life off a cliff for greater good someone else believed in?" He stopped before her, holding her eyes with his. "Do you even believe in any decisions you make on your own, anymore? Or is it the eternal turning and spinning of wheels and pins inside your head comparing your choices to what they tell you is the right thing you should do?"

Bonnie narrowed her eyes slightly, observing his every step as he approached her, unsurprised by how composed he looked, how calculating and open. Like he was offering her impartial advice and not trying to stir. How did Kai even know this stuff? How was he even aware of all the intimate details? She never even told Damon how she felt in that regard and couldn't recollect a single instant when either of them brought it up. She saved that hurt for her journal, a form of therapy she started in nineteen-ninety-four after her first fight with Damon. That was the thing with that place, it left far too much time for a person to think, to meditate on the things that happened in their lives. She jotted down everything, things that happened before she even became a witch. She wondered now as he stopped a few steps away from her, if he'd read it or if by some cruel chance of fate he could read her mind. At this point, she probably wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter.

He cracked a sudden boyish smile she knew so well from the prison world, and beckoned. "Half the way – deal's a deal."

Besides the ever-present hint of wonder in her eyes, Bonnie tried to keep the wariness down as much as she could while her body betrayed her to Kai's ears. Her pulse picked up even more upon hearing him out, and he was sure her mind catalogued every word he uttered for later obsessing over. Just as he thought it would.

She stepped towards him when beckoned, and her eyes fell to his chest, widened. Her hand reached out tentatively to touch the shirt as if she were afraid it would blow in her face. He caught her hand with his gently before the tips of her fingers grazed the material, and winked at her with a jolly smile, stepping slightly to the side and peeling her sleeve up to her elbow.

Bonnie stiffened as soon as his hand enclosed around her wrist to stall the action, her eyes instinctively darting to his face, distracted by his wink and that pleasant smile that eased onto his lips. She blinked as if in a momentary daze as he pushed the material up her arm and out of the way, running his fingers along the inside of her wrist, rousing an assortment of indescribable tingles that mingled with her rampant nerves.

He felt her shiver. He touched his lips to her pulse point, skimming them teasingly against it as his gums itched and burned and hunger turned his innards over.

She shuddered a touch and stared at the top of his head, fighting the urge to close her eyes as his lips skimmed her skin and anticipation kicked in. Despite of what she convinced herself of, this time she wasn't worried about it hurting—not like she had before. Now she unconsciously feared the exact opposite reaction.

His teeth slung in her flesh with the same smooth ease as they did in her neck the day before. Kai heard her gasp and then lost himself in the taste washing through him like a summer gale; his eyes fluttered closed, a hum vibrating from the base of his throat into her wrist.

Before she could dive into her body's response, a gasp passed across her lips, her free hand automatically coming to rest against his side as his teeth latched onto her flesh. Generally, the second go-around wasn't as satisfying as the night before, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as she assumed and hoped it would be. She let him drink a few more mouthfuls and flattened her hand against his side, arranging to pinch him to keep him from going too far if the vervain didn't kick in speedily enough. She didn't want him to weaken her.

She tasted like a salty breeze in the hot day, fresh and rousing. Kai didn't notice the burning at once, but when it spread all over his mouth and down his esophagus like a heartburn, he remembered vervain. It didn't stop him – not for a while, until her hand pressed into his side, fingers digging gingerly.

Restraining a groan of simultaneous pleasure, discomfort and frustration, he pulled away, licking his lips. "I'll need a refill sooner this time – that was a kiddie portion." He gave a frivolous smile, making no move to step away from her or let go of her hand that still rested lightly in his.

Too perturbed by his nonchalance to care about the lack of distance or the fact that he hadn't let go of her wrist, she studied him in silence. Was Kai immune to vervain? Was it because of his part-witch factor? It seemed unlikely when he was still a vampire and magic was an addition, something that was unnatural, impossible for most of our kind. Except that he was something else entirely, maybe it was actually the witch side of him that sucked up the vampire side? But then why the need for death to turn?

She shook her head to clear it of the complex musing, offering him a smile in return, and gently removed her wrist from his hold, prudently inspecting the damage caused by his teeth as they started to fade. Caroline's blood was still in her system. "We'll have to remedy that later. I don't think I have much else to give, not until I get something of my own in my stomach." Something with more substance than a handful of grapes. That could wait though.

She took a deliberate step to the side and slipped a finger into her mouth to wet it, lightly rubbing at the drying blood, thoughtfully doing away with the evidence. She didn't want Jeremy to pick up on the signs if he happened to be waiting upstairs.

"Now that I've done my part, you'll quit it with the therapy sessions and get to hard tax?" she asked, remaining jovial, even going so far as to take a seat on the cot. "As in the heretics? Who are they? How many are there and where are they?"

Kai laughed. _Smooth, Bennett._ "They are six vampire mutants, like myself. Not too talkative – unlike myself – so there's not much I know that you don't already." The vervain burning was getting on his nerves, but he couldn't take care of it while she was here. He tried to ignore it and seated himself by her side, leaning back against the wall and setting his feet on the edge of the mattress.

Kai had been locked away with them for a week and he expected her to believe he didn't know much about them? This from someone who spent months observing Damon and her and their every habit before revealing himself? Bonnie watched him sit beside her, not at all feeling threatened anymore, surprised by how comfortable they'd gotten in the span of a minute and how the air shifted.

"However, there's not much you know in general, as far as I noticed," Kai continued, ruining the moment by knocking her back to reality. "Like, for instance, you've no clue what you're doing here with me. And all that pressure your friends are happily applying doesn't quite spur your thinking process, does it?"

She met his eyes, unflinching but feeling her cheeks warm at the accusation. He wasn't wrong. She didn't know what she planned to do with Kai. She knew what she wanted to do, what she'd been thinking when she snapped his neck instead of making his heart go pop in his chest cavity. But saving people from themselves was never an easy task and this was her first. Usually she was the one picking up the scrapes or sacrificing herself when things weren't repairable anymore.

Kai looked at her jeeringly. "Come on, Bons, prove me wrong. What's the plan – you have one, right? Pull intel from me and then let Damon have his revenge and hope the finality of my death undoes the Elena spell? Well, first of all, I'm not giving out any intel for your blood – that wasn't the deal. The deal was that I'm not killing other people if you voluntarily become my donor. That I might accept, and that's it. I'm not here to help you, or be your friend, or ally, or fight the heretics off by your side. I'd rather see them turn this town to ashes, for all I care. Perhaps it's better off in ashes. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…" He smiled. "It might take all your troubles with it. Poetic."

Bonnie swayed between fury and acceptance at his closing proclamation. She wasn't expecting Kai to be her friend, redeemed or otherwise, in fact, everything she was doing was for her and her alone.

"You're right about one thing. I don't have a plan for you," she supplied and after a second's contemplation, her voice surprisingly neutral. "And I don't know what I'm doing. I don't usually go around trying to find redeeming qualities in the big bad. I don't negotiate and I'm not quick to forgive."

Kai smiled imperceptibly. _Oh, but you do negotiate, Bon._

"As for the heretics," she said, choosing to ignore his commentary about her friends and their murder, "we've faced a lot over the last two years. Murderous doppelgangers, hybrids, a kamikaze coven, a thousand-year-old witch hell-bent on mind control, and you. We might be slow on figuring it out and a little messy on our execution, but we'll get there. With or without your help." Or she would.

Bonnie pushed off the cot and glanced down at his chest in passing, once again taking in his unmarred shirt, choosing to say nothing in regards to what she now believed as she headed for the door.

Kai observed her go; a strange amusement flittered in him, like a butterfly over a flower lightly touching it with the tips of its legs. "Slow's the key word – you got that right, so damn right," he said, stretching on the cot and assuming his lounging position she found him in.

Bonnie stopped before the door and turned to look at him.

"And it will ensure your Scooby-gang's loss because those heretics won't play around or require time for some grand spell or bother bending your thoughts to amuse themselves. Think about it: if you'd been kept in a prison world for more than a hundred years just because you were an outcast mutant, would you be keen on waiting for do-gooders to thwart your vengeance plans by killing or imprisoning you yet again when you're finally free? I think this time it's safe to say you're screwed beyond all hells and heavens. I know it. You know it, too – even if you don't wanna admit it to yourself. Trust your intuition, Bonnie. I bet it was the favorite lesson of your Grams. Not optimism, or pessimism, or wishful thinking, or hope – none of it. Just raw logic, pure facts. You weren't at the wedding – I give you that to justify the confidence you show now. Mere confidence is fragile without power to back it up, and if we compare the power of six Kais to that of one Bonnie - … well." A shark-like smile spread slowly over his mouth. "Do the math."


	14. Chapter 14

Bonnie recoiled internally, loathing the fact that Kai was right and that he looked so damned smug about it. She desired to slap that smile off his face, to throw the words back at him and to prove herself in some way—not for his sake—but her own. All of which dissipated as the seconds ticked by, giving way to fear and less of an inkling to leave – as if she were scared of what would happen once she did and what she might find upstairs.

As Kai gave the last phrase, she looked to him as if he slapped her. He could sense emotions boiling in her like water in a pot that's whistling and jerking on the burner. Her expression was that of a witch already imagining how his intestines would look being pulled out of his mouth. Her anger elated Kai. He hit the bull's eye again. He felt he couldn't miss.

"Bonnie?"

She blinked and turned her head in the direction of the curious and slightly accusatory voice. "Jeremy?!"

The surprise on the witches' faces was identical before Bonnie turned to see Jeremy approaching in his ever annoyed strut and the same annoyed expression that seemed to be the only one Jeremy knew how to compose.

Jeremy's eyes edged past her, zeroing in on Kai like the predator he could be on occasions, all the anger he felt about Elena having taken an impulse hold of him. Bonnie had been dealing with his moods long enough to see it right away.

Exasperation popped in Kai like a balloon, letting out a whiff of poison. She said she had locked the basement down, and yet every damn motherfucker could sneak in and disturb his work. And Kai was getting so close.

Jeremy fixed her with an I'll-deal-with-you-later glare and stared past her at the hybrid, heating up towards fury. He was going to march to Kai and possibly do his best to gut the bastard alive, but Bonnie would have none of it.

"No," she commanded, knocking him back over the salt border and into a clumsy stumble with no more than a dismissive flick of the wrist. She didn't want to hurt him, but to try and calm him down on the wrong side was only asking for him to get his neck snapped or worse. Jeremy stared at Bonnie, confused, betrayed and angered, then returned his eyes to Kai, deciding to focus it all on the one really responsible. He barely noticed Bonnie stepping forth to him and pressing her palm on his chest to stave any action he might be cooking.

"You might as well have murdered my sister, you piece of shit!"

Kai smiled. "Oh, that righteous ire, gotta love that! I know it hurts so much not to see your sister – I can relate. But let me ask, where were you with your love and support when she was up and running?"

Jeremy's muscles bunched beneath Bonnie's restraining hand, his entire body stiffening in response to Kai's continued bait, a muscle in his jaw ticking with unreserved hatred.

"When Bonnie you were risking both our lives for came back? When she had to deal with all her traumas and hurts and reacquaint herself with that world anew – because living in a prison world even for a week twists your perception out of focus – that you can also trust me on. Where. Were you?"

Bonnie was surprised to find that, despite what she said and in spite of her voicemail to wish Jeremy well with his educational endeavors, she did selfishly want him to be there for her in those times her world spun out of control.

"Moping around and drowning your poor wronged ass in booze and random sex? Or taking that righteous anger out on whatever abomination you could track down? Where were you when your sister and your girl needed you most?"

With a dark, red-glowing glee, Kai saw he was about to throw Bonnie aside like a kitten and rush into his cell. Kai didn't mind putting him back to his place. Hell, he wished to do more than that.

Bonnie scarcely had time to muse on Jeremy's extracurricular activities—of which she only knew of one—and the humiliation that came from everyone else being so well informed, too, before she was shoved aside. Bonnie toppled over, wincing as she hit the ground, unprepared for Jeremy's fury or his unrestrained whim as he dashed into the cell.

"Jeremy!" she shrieked with panic, ignoring the ache in her knees as she dashed for the open doorway, colliding with the doorframe, glad the salt had held in Jeremy's attack and that at least one spell was in effect.

Jeremy already had Kai by the collar and was hauling him off the cot, all fists and no weapon to defend himself from Kai's fangs if the newly turned vampire should feel inclined to tuck into his neck. Kai was grinning, and that was a red cloth for the bull.

"Phasmatus separate!" Bonnie commanded, not wanting to give the blood-lusting vampire witch any time to conjure up one of his creative responses, swiftly throwing them apart. They propelled in opposite directions, hit the wall and fell down.

Kai got up leisurely, laughing. The damn vervain was still a bit of an inconvenience. _I guess you'll have to be my magic, Bonbon_ , he thought. "Aggression seems to be your first and only answer to everything, Jeremy," he said out loud and shook his head with a feigned disappointment. "That's not healthy, not only for a hunter who should keep a cool head, but for a guy riding that righteous horse you trotted on here. But what's remarkable about aggression is how often it bursts out when your opponent is right. You got nothing else to justify yourself with, and thus you want to shut me up. You selfishly wanted Bonnie to live, so that you could run away, drink your brain to trash, fuck barmaids and think you've done all you could and saved her and thus it's up to her to chase your noble ass around to thank for it."

Bonnie walked over to Jeremy who had a hand pressed to the back of his head to nurse an oncoming headache, his body having collided with the wall a lot harder than that of the robust vampire. That was the thing, hunters were christened and possessed an inkling of supernatural bloodlust to help them with some speed and focus, but nothing of the sort you read in comics or otherwise. Jeremy, unlike Kai, was still very breakable.

Bonnie crouched beside Jeremy, reaching out to touch a hand to the back of his head, checking to make sure she hadn't unintentionally cracked open his skull, and winced as he jerked away from her, staggering to his feet. He was mad and for what she was sure, or knew about, it was as if he didn't see her—as if he didn't care to see her.

Kai sneered, enjoying the homicidal glower in Jeremy's eyes as he stood like an enraged bull ready to dig his hooves into the sand and smack Kai dead.

"It's so typical for you and your sister both," Kai remarked. "You take your own petty frustrations to a sky level and treat them like the end of the world and believe that people around you have to make themselves crazy over your hurt feelings and problems while forgetting their own. And when that doesn't happen, you snap and go rampant and expect your friends to still chase you around to soothe your aches."

A beast was waking up in young Gilbert. His eyes were bulging with rage that had to make him run a fever or something. "You don't know anything about me!" he yelled. "Or my sister! You don't talk about her!" Bonnie was all over him, but to him she didn't exist. He started toward Kai again, unmindful of her hands clasping at his shirt and her grimaces of pain as he dragged her in his wake like a rowboat tied to a cruise liner.

Pain shot up her arm as he jerked her off balance and nearly sent her tumbling to the floor a second time. It was like trying to barricade a moving train and even worse than when he first began to display his hunter-type urges.

"Let it go, Jeremy. Let it go!" she repeated, placing herself between them and on his way to make sure he wouldn't be able to get to Kai, not unless he sought to physically throw her out of the way. For an instant – from the look in his raging eyes – she thought he might. "He isn't worth it. Don't play into his hands." She was sure Kai was toying with him, doing away of what she supposed was his jail-time boredom, but she knew that if he wanted to, he'd have ripped Jeremy's spine out by now.

The smile Kai kept on for Jeremy's benefit didn't falter, but deep down, Bonnie's words stung. After all the times of his telling her the truth, she still chose their side – the side of those who threw her in front of the train every time something went wrong in their lives. Kai felt a fury of his own crawl closer, like a jaguar that spotted a monkey for dinner, and made an effort to push it away.

Jeremy finally noticed her and stared between them, as if reading something written in the air that they had been keeping a secret from him. Repulsion came through on his face as if he has perceived she has been cheating on him with his worst enemy. That expression gave Kai a bigger grin. Jeremy shook her off and stormed out, thumping noisily.

Kai wasn't off with his Gilbert reading and what they'd done to her and others around them for years, but it was part of their personality and what their friends allowed them to do. Bonnie was guiltier of that than most, and to be frank, there was very little to be done to change that now. All she could do was stand her ground. And she would. But she couldn't do so if Jeremy was going to force her into questionable positions.

Bonnie looked at Kai, both aggravated and tired. "Was that really necessary? Or do you want to make sure I'm miserable from every angle?"

"Of course not!" Kai gave a smile that hinted it might have been indeed that. Then he shook his head as if simultaneously amused and disappointed. "You're miserable not because of what I do, but because you let them make you as miserable as it gets. It's their habit to push you around and think you'll take it – because you love them. Because they're your family. You know, it's a funny thing about family: they can hurt you most because you let them. You love them and can't fight it, and in the end it brings you more pain. Know why?"

Bonnie refrained from interjecting and folded her arms across her chest, watching as he went to sit down, wondering if that was how he felt about the situation with his family. Did he murder them because they pushed him too far? Because in his own sick way he wanted nothing more than their acceptance and love? Wasn't that the root of what every person at their core wanted?

"They hate changes," he supplied. "We all change, and they do. But when they observe you from early age, be it your friends or parents, they get used to a certain image of you."

Bonnie remembered Elena's humanity-off words to her some years back at the prom when Bonnie botched bringing Jeremy back the second time and refused to give into Silas's cruel temptations to bring down the other side.

'I thought you were gonna bring Jeremy back, but it turned out you were just a brainwashed crazy person, so technically you're a walking reminder of all the horrible things that have happened to me.'

Elena apologized to her, but in some way, those words stuck with Bonnie and fueled her decisions. She didn't want to dismay Elena, her friends or family, especially when they needed so much from her.

"And when you change – even if for the better – they freak out and do all they can to hammer you back into the slot they've reserved for you in their minds. And that's what you've been doing all your life – sitting in that slot to make everybody happy while this everybody kept changing, getting stronger, having the time of their lives. And all their problems were for you to sort out because there's not much else you could do in that slot they kept for you."

Kai pulled another offhanded talk Bonnie'd had with Elena only last week to the forefront of her mind—small and unintentional—but it had gotten to her nonetheless and hurt more than she cared to think about: 'You were stuck there all by yourself while we were back here, living our lives.'

Bonnie scoffed delicately at the thought, hating how easily Kai hit things on the nail and how spending all that time getting to know them, peeking into their lives had given him a Silas-type edge.

She wasn't even back a full twenty-four hours and Damon had been trying to recruit her for his kamikaze mission to nineteen-o-three. As if she hadn't spent enough time trying to get out of another prison world. What made him think she'd be eager to jump into the next? And had he even cared? No. He had seen his mother and lost his mind. Bonnie could understand the urgency, she could even empathize, but there was a part of her that was hurt. That wanted to disappear and take to the road. But where would she go? Damon was—or at least had been—the one person she knew could sympathize with her and recognize what she was going through. Bonnie needed that from him, wanted it more than she could think to put into actual words.

"Now go ahead and tell me I couldn't be more wrong." Kai lay down, an arm under his head, smiling nonchalantly at her.

"You couldn't be more wrong," she parroted sarcastically, flashing him an artificial grin, one meant to mimic his taunting merriment and to downplay the effects of his words. She didn't linger for his response and headed for the door again, refusing to let him dissect how much his perception had gotten to her.

Kai read Bonnie's body language hungrily, picking out the signs he sought like diamonds from a pile of glass shards. She tried hard to stay detached, but either her eyes, or her pulse, or her breath betrayed her. He concluded every arrow he sent met its target.

"Don't forget my refill for later, Bonsy! You don't want me too hungry," he called after her in a chipper voice. He wasn't going to say any more. Not right now – that would be excessive. No matter how impatient this little cell made him feel, it was a very delicate work where Bonnie Bennett was concerned. A mechanism as fine as hers demanded finer instruments and a great amount of patience. It was hard – patience wasn't his favorite exercise, all things considered – but it made the game more interesting, nonetheless.

Kai let out a long relaxed exhale and closed his eyes for more idle meditation, a satisfied smile dimming slowly on his lips. 

* * *

 

Jeremy was nowhere to be found once Bonnie reached the parlor, and nor did it appear as if anyone else was around. She was grateful for that. With Kai fed and settled, she could head over to her house, grab some clothes, her grimoire, and get a head start on finding a way to protect herself and her friends from the heretics.

She headed for the garage, throwing open the white box that stored their car keys, and picked one or two at random. None of them had modern buttons, nothing she could merely push to make her selection easier. Typical. In some instances, the Salvatores were up-to-date and in others – they continued to live in the past.

"Need a ride, witch?" a voice said from out of nowhere amidst her struggle.

"No," she answered, snubbing the loquacious culprit behind her.

"Then is theft something you do when you're not collecting murderers?"

"Murderers? Don't you mean murderer. As in singular. And it's not theft, it's aloan."

"What, you're above asking?"

"Can I borrow one of your cars?" she asked, making sure not to look at him, knowing that if she did, she'd be angry all over again and reminded how she now had more than fifty other people's lives on her conscience.

"No," Damon answered, sounding familiarly proud of himself and agitated all at once. "And risk having you come back with the full-fledged assortment of archenemies? I can't trust your judgement."

She sighed with exasperation and stowed both keys into her palm, walking over to the brown Ford parked at the very end of the six-space garage. It didn't look like either Damon's or Stefan's taste, and strangely enough, it appeared rather clean on the outside – like it was regularly washed down or polished.

"Where are you going?"

"Home." She inserted the first set of keys to try and unlock the door, jiggling it around a bit before trying the second. "I need a 'you'-free shower and a couple changes of clothes."

"You don't have a home," Damon indicated as he appeared next to her, applying a steadfast vampire-type grip to the door handle. "Not until you get that cockroach out of my basement and into the nearest shallow grave."

"I told you," she concentrated on the cagy hand preventing her from leaving. Damon's eyes widened, his mouth falling open with a yelp as he jumped back from the car. "I'm not killing Kai."

He snarled.

"And nor am I looking to fight with you." She could. She could have nonchalantly mentioned Jeremy and reinforced the fact that Damon was a jackass and a hypocrite and that she didn't want to see him. But she didn't have the energy for it and nor did she think he would bother to give her space again – not with Elena out of the picture.

"What if he tries to escape while you're away?" Damon asked, shaking off his crumbling pride and irritation. "You've been out all morning, shouldn't you at least stay to make sure he doesn't do anything."

"He won't," she replied, hoping that to be true. "And I won't be gone that long. An hour tops. Less probably."

She climbed into the driver's seat of the Ford, recalling, as she peered around inside, that Zach Salvatore used to drive one. This was his car. Damon stood observing her as she slipped the key into the ignition, his eyes boring into her through the windshield as she pulled out of the garage and headed for her father's house.

Between Damon and Jeremy, she suspected she would have zero freedom or rest, and they'd be breathing down her neck until she kowtowed to their wishes. 

* * *

 

A couple of hours passed since Bonnie had seen Jeremy or spoken to Damon when she reluctantly returned to chez Salvatore. Caroline brought her a takeout, a little something extra after Stefan had taken her to lunch, thinking that Jeremy and Bonnie needed to talk.

"So… how was it?"

"It wasn't," Bonnie said, knowing full well what the blonde was referring to and who.

"You mean there were no sparks and 'welcome home I haven't seen you in months' sex?"

Bonnie looked up at Caroline, arching her eyebrows as if to say, 'Really?'

"Alright. No sex. But there was a spark, right?"

"No."

"Because of Elena?"

"Losing your sister to a sleeping beauty curse attached to your ex-dead girlfriend would put a damper on anyone's libido. But no, I don't think Elena has anything to do with it. He's moved on."

Caroline had the decency to look ashamed and then added: "He's only been gone a month!"

"A lot can change in a month," Bonnie answered, peeling the foil from the top of the pasta.

"So… what did he say exactly?"

"That Damon told him he needed a hand with Alaric."

"And you believed him?"

"Certainly. I wouldn't put it past Damon to try and complicate things for me."

"And are you squirming?" Caroline asked, studying her face, trying to gauge if she'd changed her mind.

"No. At least not where Damon is concerned."

Bonnie picked up the plastic fork and tucked into the spinach and feta pasta. "Besides," she added between bites, "Alaric could use more family around him."

"Then what's with all the witchy-woo research face?"

"Lily."

"As in long last 'allegedly died because of some eighteen-hundred disease' Mama Salvatore?"

"As in psychopath hell-bent on searching for her destructive family."

Caroline stared at her blankly, frowning as if she were missing some huge neon clue. Typical. Somewhere along the way Bonnie was the only one that thought of the repercussions.

"What are you—"

"Have you not been listening?" Bonnie enquired teasingly, seeing Caroline's cheeks redden with obvious embarrassment. "It's okay, I don't suppose there has been time to clue you in. It's been a madhouse."

"No, I mean… I know who they are… or at least I know Lily is looking for them."

"And she hasn't found them?"

"Not as far as I am aware. After things went down at the wedding, Enzo kidnapped Stefan and me to recruit our help. When we left she was running around at the docks."

Bonnie's heart skipped a beat, her appetite all of a sudden dispersing, her grip loosening on the fork.

"Bonnie? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she replied, forcing aside the transitional lightheadedness that came from her panic. "I just—I need some water." She pushed the food away, got off the bed, and walked toward the bathroom. "You should call Enzo," she said from her bent over position at the sink.

"I should?" Caroline echoed, sounding rather muddled, having missed how much trouble they were in and the fact that things went far beyond some mad woman seeking out a couple of beloved children.

"You should," Bonnie added, splashing water in her face, wishing she could slow her overactive imagination down and the all-consuming fear. Lily would not come for her—not unless she was still busy searching.

"And say what? Stefan and Lily didn't leave on good terms, in fact, she pretty much disowned him and ran off," Caroline explained, appearing in the bathroom doorway behind Bonnie.

Bonnie peered into the mirror, smiling. "Just tell him that Stefan is concerned about Lily and that you're doing your duty as a friend and potential lover to make sure that his mother is okay. Work your charm."

Caroline looked doubtful, as if she feared Enzo wouldn't believe her or as if she didn't believe Bonnie.

"Caroline. You've seen what Kai can do. What do you think will happen if there are six other people running around with the same potential?"

Caroline swallowed and dropped her gaze to the floor, her face having lost any and all innocence. Bonnie wished she could live in that pink-glasses bubble, too, at times. "And what if she found them?"

"Then I don't know," Bonnie admitted with a dry laugh, reaching for the towel, using it to dab at her face and neck. She didn't know what to do with Kai, she had no idea how to break Elena's spell, and she wouldn't know where to even start with the heretics. No one else has thought about it yet, not in the way that it should be approached, but Bonnie knew: once they did, they would come to her, that they'd come expecting more answers. And for right now, she had none.

Caroline called Enzo once or twice but he didn't answer. She stayed with Bonnie for an hour, watching her page through her grimoire until the blonde got tired and excused herself to get some sleep.

It was near on nine o' clock when Bonnie emerged from her designated room again and decided to feed Kai again. There was only so much time he could take down there alone—she didn't want him getting antsy—and she'd been avoiding him most the day. Along with the rest of the men in her life – save for Stefan.

She approached the stairwell and cursed to herself when she saw the slumped figure seated on the top stairs. He had a bottle clutched in one hand, his phone with a couple of images in another.

"He might as well have killed her," Jeremy mumbled, and for a second, Bonnie thought he was talking to himself. It was only as he turned back to look at her that she gathered otherwise. "I'll never see her again—not as long as…"

'As long as you're alive?' she concluded for him in her head. She suspected that was the thought on everyone's mind – aside from Caroline's. She'd been sad about Elena's dilemma, but she wasn't in mourning, convinced that once Bonnie had lived her life—and died a greying old lady on some equally rickety porch—she'd see her again. Neither Jeremy, Matt nor Bonnie had that kind of luxury. Not at this point in their lives and not unless they turned. But what if Bonnie was to become a vampire? Would Elena remain in status? Would the spell break? And most importantly, did she, Bonnie, want to? Not particularly. And in fact, the idea repulsed her.

She took a seat beside him on the stair and rested her hands in her lap.

"Damon said you were looking into a way to break the curse," Jeremy commented.

Bonnie scowled faintly, infuriated that Damon would feed him such lies and that he'd force her into this position. How was she supposed to tell Jeremy that she wasn't looking? That until she was sure they could protect themselves from the heretics, from Kai, she wouldn't be able to focus on the linking spell. How was she supposed to make him understand? "Damon _hopes_ that I will find a way to break it."

"That's not the way he worded it."

"You can't believe everything he says, Jer."

"I know. But I believe in you." Bonnie might have smiled if she didn't see a look of touchiness in his eye. "And you've done it before. You brought me back. You brought all of _us_ back!"

"This is different," she murmured.

"How?" he spat, looking starry-eyed and naïve, as if he hadn't witnessed her nearly killing herself every time.

"She isn't dead. Elena's just… she's sleeping."

"For fifty years?"

"You might not have to wait that long," she added bluntly, hating that there was a limit on her life, that from out of nowhere she accumulated an expiry date. "Given my luck I could die tomorrow and all this fuss will be over."

"What's gotten into you?" Jeremy asked as if she offended him with her attitude.

She chuckled softly to keep from crying, to keep from giving into the deep-rooted loneliness. She missed her grams.

"I'm just tired, Jer," she replied, bringing her hands to her face, scrubbing them against her closed eyelids, and then stood. At twenty, it felt she was going on forty.

"Where are you going?" he asked, a small frown on his drunken brow. That was the second time she was asked that tonight, and with the same condescendingly accusing tone – as if she were being monitored.

"Downstairs."

He trailed after her, practically slipping off the last stair. She winced and refrained from reaching out to grab a hold of his shoulder. She didn't think he'd accept her help, anyway.

"Where's Damon?" she asked as he followed her into the parlor. Bonnie needed to pour herself a drink, to work up a little Dutch courage and prepare for the next stipulation of her deal with Kai.

"With Alaric. With Stefan," he said, bringing the bottle to his lips, taking two large gulps. "Speaking of: does Alaric know Kai is here? That you're protecting his wife's murderer?"

"You didn't tell him, did you?" she asked, suddenly fearing he might have mentioned it and that things would escalate. Damon, she knew, was relying on the pressure – as always, he was trying to break her.

"I didn't know that he wasn't aware."

"Fuck." Bonnie poured herself a drink, downing it in one go.

Jeremy watched her with glassy interest. "He said you staked him. That he saw you."

Bonnie flushed and exhaled deeply, pouring herself a refill. "It was just an illusion."

"For who?" Jeremy asked.

"You didn't see his face, Jer. He was broken. Absolutely lost. I wanted to give him a little peace… a break."

"A break from what? The death of his wife?"

"No… I mean, I just… I wanted to… I was trying to help him. I was trying to keep Alaric from getting himself killed or from hurting anyone else."

"Then maybe," Jeremy began, raising the bottle once more, kicking his legs up onto the couch cushion, "you should have actually killed Kai. The only thing that Alaric needs protection from is downstairs."

Bonnie closed her eyes and downed her second drink, hating that this conversation had been fed to him and implanted in his brain. It wasn't all Jeremy – it couldn't be. She set the glass aside.

"So how did he take it?" she asked instead, forging feeding into his lure.

"Damon and Stefan are with him."

"Right. Here? As in the Boardinghouse?"

"They decided it might be best to keep him at his place for now. Away from you. And away from the temptation of charging downstairs."

"Of course," she replied, wondering when that had happened and how soon after she'd seen Damon. Caroline hadn't said anything, so Bonnie assumed Stefan hadn't had time to fill her in yet. "Well… I'd better—" she gestured to the exit, drawing her eyes from his, hoping Jeremy would pick up on the mallet-sized hint and leave her in peace. At least for now.

She paused as she stepped into the foyer, making sure he wasn't following her, and then headed down into the basement again, her eyes instinctively taking in the salt border in the dim light.

She should have brought Kai a book or something, knowing that idle hands wouldn't make much for good.


	15. Chapter 15

Kai broke into a wide, jolly smile when Bonnie showed face at his cell's door. "Oh, hey, Bonnie! I almost thought you decided to get down to testing your battered luck and keep me waiting until the Judgment Day – which might come sooner than any of us suspect. I'm bored and almost starving – this combination is particularly explosive, I'll let you know. I hope you managed to get stuffed today because I really need a nice snack."

How did he maintain such a happy farce at every occasion? Bonnie guessed solitude could do that to you in most instances, but she also knew how quickly that could change. It made her wonder how long she had before his patience would wear out.

She assumed the vervain was still in her system so didn't bother to go to the second cell. She signed softly remembering the body within, a figure that had been all but forgotten by her for today. They were going to have to do something with her soon. Bonnie worried that Jo was hovering around, unable to find peace. The witch pushed that thought aside for now.

He sat up, legs swinging off the cot, and patted the mattress next to him. "C'mere and tell me all about how wonderful your day has been."

"Wonderful?" she echoed with an ironic yet weary sigh, a small smile twitching onto her lips. "Can you not hear what is happening upstairs?" It would be in her favor if he didn't – she knew that now, but what were the chances? She hadn't made provision for that and he wasn't a half bad vampire. Bonnie guessed it didn't take much to start working on controlling your senses or getting used to them. At least he didn't appear to have that problem.

Kai wanted to respond, but then didn't, caught with observation of how her air of self-assuredness started to melt once she went for the seat he patted. She was nervous and it tickled his fancy in just the right way. He liked to see her display power, but a shy Bonnie was a no less precious sight. And a rich, fruitful soil to plant some crops.

She walked into the small room without any of her earlier hesitation, her heart abruptly skipping a furtive beat as an image of him feeding from her neck sprung to mind. _I didn't need that._

'It's fine. Don't think about it' she chided herself internally. 'Don't give it more thought than it deserves. It's feeding. You're Food. You're a vamp takeout. No more than that bloody pasta you didn't finish.' Fucking Damon and Caroline. Couldn't they have kept their mouths shut?

She sat down beside him, feeling awkward and like some inexperienced virgin unsure of where to position herself or what to do. Did they jump right into it?

"Don't suppose you want to take a nibble at my wrist again?" she asked, allowing a lighthearted smile to play onto her lips, one that held some real seriousness behind it as she raised her arm.

Not much hope in there, but she felt the need to try. Her arm was raised towards him in invitation, but in her eyes Kai saw she resigned herself to the neck bite – the demand he gave in advance.

Bonnie broadened the smile, praying he'd be less of himself and take pity on her. She deserved it, didn't she? She was having a hard enough time as it was. She didn't need complications. She didn't need to second-guess her actions or reasoning. She didn't need for this to get weird or any more awkward than the three of them had already made it. Bonnie almost wished she'd provoked him to attack her.

He glanced at her outstretched offering, faking a second's consideration, then wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap with dexterity of a performing magician. He held her to him, her back against his front, brushing her hair back from the right side of her face with his free hand.

She opened her mouth to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing and to command he release her or face the wrath of nine hells. Not that she was sure how to accomplish that when the overpowered bastard appeared to have a physical comeback for everything she did. He ingested vervain and nothing—it didn't even slow him down—not even a little. From what she could remember of their earlier feeding, he hadn't even sweat. It was as if Kai had eaten a little curry and was unfazed.

She tried — and unsuccessfully — to brush aside the shiver that raced through her as his fingertips skimmed the nape of her neck.

"Don't ask questions you know the answers to – that answer I gave you earlier and see no need to recite."

She snuck a look at the arm around her waist, all too aware of his chest molded against her back and the fact that she wasn't finding it all that unpleasant. She guessed it was different when she believed he was trying to be malicious. Oh, oh. She could feel her pulse start to race again. She stiffened in response, unable to force herself to relax.

Kai could feel her need to squirm, her anxiety coiled around her like something palpable, spurring her pulse into a quicker trot. Each response her body gave stimulated him to try and elicit more, to reach deeper and make her feel things she wouldn't be able to deny nor forget. Kai wanted to install sensations that would haunt her while he was out of sight, the imprint with his name on it that would be hot against the skin of her very soul.

"Maybe we should stand again," she blurted out before she could stop her brain from saying something so stupid. Bonnie didn't need him deliberately trying to turn things around on her as opposed to unintentionally. "This doesn't—can you even get a good grip? I mean… maybe I should, like, be on my knees—"

Definitely not where she wanted that to go. Bonnie heaved a sigh, brushing that off to correct her statement.

"Or not. You know what, just go. I mean… like, tuck in. Enjoy. Don't take too much."

Kai congratulated himself on refraining from laughing out loud. However, the images her unguarded words inspired were nowhere near laughable. They were outright hot, and he felt his body respond, shedding the restraint he was trying to maintain.

Kai touched his forehead to her temple, nuzzling against her skin behind the earlobe, bathing in her scent and his anticipation that fed arousal and more blood to the evidence of it she was sitting against. "Don't worry. It won't be anything like what the heretics dealt me. But I believe you already know as much."

Stroking his free hand down her arm to join his other around her waist, Kai teased her with a few light kisses against the pulsating vein, gratified at her hitching breaths and jumping heartbeat. He sucked at her skin, massaging it with his tongue to prepare for the bite. And when his fangs did sink in, she merely shuddered with a soft sigh.

Bonnie was loath to admit that he methodically soothed her fears when it came to feeding. At least where he was concerned. She worried about the other senses, the other parts of herself that revolted against sanity and didn't appear to dislike the nearness of his body or the prominent hardness nudging her ass quite as much as it did the day before. She could even close her eyes and pretend that it was someone else's fingertips travelling down her arm to secure itself around her waist, someone else's lips, tongue, and mouth tending to her shoulder and that thrashing pulse with deliberate care. And someone else's soft breathless sigh of unerring anticipation as his teeth broke through flesh. She didn't. She couldn't.

Unwittingly pulling her closer, as if possessively, he let the taste fill his awareness and eradicate everything else for a little moment. An uncontrolled quiet moan vibrated against the side of her neck as he drew swallow after swallow, ignoring the burn of vervain still guarding her blood from thieves like him. It was like a scalding liquid spice, too strong and flaying his throat as he drank, but Kai was able to detach it from the actual taste that sent his nerves into electric shimmering.

Consciously Bonnie should have been repulsed as his arm tightened around her, drinking deeper and with far more confidence than she remembered the first time. As if he were trying to possess her. She gasped softly, feeling the vibration of his hungry moan and the increasing evidence of such pleasure. Growing proof that made it impossible to remain passive for too long and in due course broke the spell.

She shifted subtly on his lap, making Kai shiver at the unexpected pleasant friction he was craving, and at the same time awakened him to reality.

He withdrew, licking his lips, and lingered there, his breath fanning hotly against the exposed crook of her neck while he battled his need for more. More than this, more than just her blood and restrained ability to touch her and make her react in spite of her intentions. The blood was still oozing from the bite, and Kai couldn't help but pick some up with a swipe of his tongue.

Bonnie blinked as if coming out of a shallow daze as he slid his teeth from her throat, his hot breath fanning the achy flesh. A sensation that she was getting accustomed to far quicker than she'd imagined or ever cared to think about. Bonnie was humming, as she had before, and all over. A peculiar liking that took seconds to shift to guilt.

Then Kai bit his wrist and brought it half an inch short of her lips. "Help yourself, witchling. Fair's fair."

She drew back the little that she could and turned her head away from his wrist, squelching the desire burning upon her tongue and reaching up to politely discard his offer.

She wanted it, he saw: her body wanted his blood, and it fueled his pleasure.

"I'm okay," she answered once she was able to find her voice, leaving no room for argument, simultaneously reaching down in attempt to remove his arm from her waist. All of a sudden feeling as though there was more to that offer, more to that 'fair's fair' hint. Bonnie needed the reminder on her neck, she needed the little ache of proof of what she was, what their association was, and didn't want him crawling any further under her skin than he already had – than _they_ had already planted him. "Well, now that your hunger is at least sated," she began as a means of deflection, pressing a hand to the side of her neck to stave of the bleeding, glad to find that when her fingers touched the spot, it hurt, "I'll see what I can do about your entertainment."

She wanted to escape, and despite knowing that it was probably working as it should, it annoyed him. Her stupid need to resist him was irritating, more than Kai anticipated. Fed by renewed vitality of the blood intake, his emotions wanted to run free, and it took effort to tame them and lock behind a thick door of outward calm friendliness.

"Since no one really taught you much in magic department, let me enlighten you a bit about a certain cosmic law," he said. "It stipulates we should pay for what we take. Your neck is bleeding, Banzai, therefore I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I avoid breaking yet another law of sorts and pay you for your kindness. It's not in my best interest to have my donor harmed and feel less than perfect due to what I've done. I mean, where'd be logic in that? And if you prefer the earlier way to receive the payment – I can relate."

He bit into his tongue hard, gently turning her head to him by the chin, and kissed her. The act shocked her at first, and his tongue met no resistance as it touched hers and shared the blood.

Bonnie had a suspicion to what he was referring when he said 'earlier payment'. And she'd denied it, swept the thought under the rug, convinced that their dream kiss was an incitement created by her punishing friends. And she might have continued to believe it, too, if he hadn't gone right to it. It wasn't conventionally sweet or profoundly knee-numbing, but it did stir and make her feel out of sorts. Even when she was doing her utmost to safeguard herself, to keep herself grounded and detached – she was failing.

Kai didn't make it long and pulled back, before she could do anything rash like snapping her teeth down on him. Smiling boyishly, he let her go and held his arms spread for her to slip off his lap. "Thank you, Bonnie."

"Thanks," she parroted in a murmur, touching a hand to her neck to check the bite mark as she stood up. The wound was no longer there, not externally, and yet it felt engrained beneath the flesh like a stamp, or worse – a brand. Bonnie frowned at herself and lowered her arm to her side, glancing down at her clothes as if to check for any signs of what they had done, and feeling irritatingly bare.

_Dammit!_ Why was she letting their words get to her so much? And why hadn't she fought him on what she wanted? Why hadn't she bitten that obtrusive tongue as soon as it sought to coat her own?

_Am I that lonely?_

"So…" she began, forcing herself to relax again, to compose a smile that matched his own cheerfulness. "About that entertainment. What can I get you?" A brief frown stole across her brow in thought. "And be reasonable," she added.

"If you could stay here with me, it's all entertainment I could dream of, and even more," he grinned shamelessly and lay down on the bunk on his side, propped on an elbow. "But frankly, I'd rather prefer to get out of here. Some nice hotel would do, with _shower_." He emphasized the last word with a wiggle of his eyebrows, eyeing her slyly. "I bet you could use an escape yourself by now, given how deep and troubled your frown is every time you come here." His grin slipped off to make space for an overly sympathetic mien.

And Bonnie could almost believe in his earnestness, she could almost trust that she accomplished something without really doing anything.

"Brace yourself, Banzai – it's only getting worse from here. The longer you keep me in the middle of their nest where they can't rip me to pieces and stomp each into the ground. As if that'd end their problems. If anything, it'd probably start a new spin of hell."

Worse than having her judgement called into question? Worse than losing one of her best friends? Worse than feeling like she had lost a part of herself and that she didn't know how to make things work anymore? Nothing was the same, not for Bonnie, and yet – everything was.

"You mean we aren't in hell and headed through already?" she jested, feeling in no way mollified. "In that case, I'll have to decline staying to keep you company." Not that she intended to stay. "And get back to work."

She whirled around, flashing him a grim smile, and unhurriedly made her way toward the stairs. 

* * *

 

"Where is he?!" a high-pitched womanly voice demanded before Bonnie even exited the basement. She didn't need to stop and figure who that question belonged to – she already knew.

Lily. Lily Salvatore. The _second_ monster to infiltrate her dreams.

Her heart hammered against her ribcage with unspoken fright when Bonnie recalled the lethal look in Lily's eyes. If not for Jo – she would have successfully killed Bonnie that night of the bachelorette's and everything Bonnie tried to reclaim would have been lost. Bonnie didn't like to think of the reason why or the loathing she progressively felt grow for Damon because of it. Nor did she like looking back to make sure Kai didn't follow her – in some way, she thought that he could.

Was he aware of the commotion upstairs? Was he in on it?

An acquainted battle cry pervaded the air to cut short her treacherous musings, followed by a shout of distress Bonnie acknowledged as Caroline's, and the sound of splintering furniture. Bonnie pushed away from the wall she had been involuntarily shrinking against, and made a mad, thoughtless dash for the foyer.

"Do you know what it's like to have the promise of your family in the palm of your hand, only to have them snatched away again and again?"

What Bonnie found angered her. Jeremy lay unconscious in front of the unlit fireplace and Caroline struggled at the end of a poker, like a fish caught on the end of a lethal spear.

"Motus!" Bonnie roared, magically whacking the Salvatore woman across the living area and away from Caroline. Her body thumped against the bookcase, taking a few of the hardcover titles with her as she fell to the floor with an aggrieved groan. Bonnie wasn't even going to try talking to her this time. Not by choice.

Caroline gasped, her mouth open, her eyes filled with tears while her bloodied hands tried to pull the poker from her stomach. Bonnie ran toward her, keeping one eye on where the woman had flown to, the other on Jeremy.

"Ah, Miss Bennett," Lily said, appearing in front of her, cutting short the rescue mission, her face ashen from either exhaustion or a day's worth of hunger. Her blue eyes vigil in a way that reminded Bonnie of someone wild and homicidal. "How unfortunate to see you alive. I was guaranteed by that charming boy that when he finished with you – you'd be dead."

"Sorry to disappoint," Bonnie played back, glad her voice hadn't cracked.

Lily sneered. A look that reminded one hundred percent of her formerly murderous eldest son and as if she could hear Bonnie's racing heart.

"You haven't disappointed me, dear. Not at all," she remarked in a misleadingly sweet tone, one Bonnie now knew was meant to lure her into a false sense of security. "I would rather the pleasure of doing so myself."

When she lunged, Bonnie reacted, knocking her back, sending her tumbling over the nearest couch with no more than a sharp jerk of a hand. Lily grunted as she hit the floor, a sound of pain that eerily eased into a manic laugh.

"So brave. So unwise," Lily remarked, her eyes flashing in warning. "Did you overlook our last altercation?" Bonnie stared at her with what she hoped was a straight-faced expression, unhindered by Lily's words. "Where is he?"

"And you best tell her, love," Enzo put in nonchalantly, revealing himself. Where the hell had he been hiding? Bonnie could only assume he'd been checking the rest of the house. "She's been at it all night."

"Damon and Stefan aren't here," Bonnie contested, deliberately playing dumb. Enzo looked unconvinced.

"I'm not speaking of my self-regarding sons." Funny coming from a woman who had gone out of her way to shun her _real_ family for an adopted version of one. She didn't see anyone else's pain.

"I killed him," Bonnie answered. Lily stared at the young witch, stunned, her face awash with a range of different emotions that soon fused into one: shock.

"Then he must be back," she challenged in a tone that bordered begging. "He must have risen and is with them."

"Because you gave him your blood? Because you helped him come up with a distraction to link Elena and I?"

Lily looked unmoved.

"Well, he did rise again as you say. But he was bitten by a werewolf—"

Her face shifted to that of measured realization, her hands balling into fists as though she craved to strangle the Bennett witch. Enzo, too, realized that things were on the verge of spiraling, and took a step forward to provide comfort.

"—a fight ensued and fortunately for me, I was able to stake—"

Lily closed the distance before Bonnie even finished her fabricated story, a hand wrapped around her throat, slamming her back against the wall once or twice as if Lily were trying to knock sense into her.

"Then you shall take his place and mend that which you have broken!"

She gave a yelp, her eyes widened with angry astonishment as she peered down at her side, the poker she'd initially lodged in Caroline's stomach jutting from it, feisty blonde attachment in tow.

"Octox," Bonnie hissed, watching as agony swept over Lily's face, her body crumbling beneath her as magic snapped her knee, followed by another.

Enzo dashed across the room in a protective fury, yanking Jeremy off the floor.

"Motus," Bonnie shoved the vampire woman one last time, pushing her toward the front door, away from Caroline and her. She wasn't sure how long she would last with her powers if Lily kept pushing her like this.

"Stop!" Enzo commanded, drawing Jeremy close, baring his fangs against the unconscious boy's neck. Bonnie regarded him, her heart leaping into her throat with trepidation. The last time Enzo touched Jeremy—that she knew of—he killed him, or at least he would have – if not for Stefan and their would-be Elenatherine.

There was no pleading in Bonnie's manner, no begging to have either see reason. "I suggest you put him down and the two of you leave."

She glared at the both of them, making sure Damon's oldest-newest buddy knew that if he even thought to puncture Jeremy's skin, she would flay him alive.

"Haurire," she murmured, the poker sailing from out of Lily's side, ripping a startled cry from her. Enzo released Jeremy, unmindful of how he fell, and dashed toward Lily. Caroline reacted as quickly, catching the younger Gilbert before he could bang his head on the wood. Carefully bringing him back to Bonnie's side.

"Leave? Leave my home?" Lily countered through gritted teeth, groaning as Enzo helped force her limbs into position, gradually taking his aid as she pushed herself off the polished floor for the third time.

"This place isn't your home. And from what I hear, that was your decision."

Caroline seconded that with no more than an uncharacteristic rumble. Lily stood casting a purposeful glance at Jeremy who had been placed upon the floor at our feet.

"Touch him again and I'll make sure your struggle to find your family is at a permanent end," said Bonnie.

Lily grinned and met the witch's eyes again, dusting at her attire, uselessly nursing her former wounds.

"You're hasty to make threats, Miss Bennett. Is that wise?"

"Probably not. But after what you've done to me, to my friends—"

"What have I done to you?!" Lily countered, cutting short her speech, that wild look reflecting in her eyes once more, like a button Bonnie had flicked. "You took that which I most value and destroyed it!"

Bonnie didn't even feel bad about that. She couldn't. She wouldn't. Not after what had come to pass. She hadn't counted on the heretics, she hadn't envisioned the bigger mess she'd make or be a part of, but what's done is done. If they weren't around, if Lily hadn't found them yet, then maybe Kai hadn't been able to bring them with him and had merely used Lily to gain her blood in order to turn and exact his revenge on his family. Maybe what he said to Bonnie before had been a lie, maybe he had been purposely trying to scare her.

"I had my reasons," Bonnie added, trying to sound detached, trying to present an emotionless front.

"You are a despicable and heartless woman, Miss Bennett."

Bonnie darted a look at Caroline, who was uncharacteristically quiet, and then at Jeremy at her feet.

"As are you, Missis Salvatore. Now I suggest you take the chance to leave while you still can and while I still deem your sons my friends. Or I might temporarily forget."

Lily stared at the Bennett girl long and hard, her eyes speaking volumes of her intention and what was to come. They weren't done. Not by a long shot. And then, they were gone.

Bonnie stood rooted to the spot for a long time, taking a few moments to catch her breath, feeling her legs wanting to give beneath her weight now that the immediate threat had been removed and she knew they were safe-ish.

"Shit!" she heard Caroline curse and snap her from her trance. "Thank God for whatever mystical force came up with hunter healing." Bonnie darted a look to where she was crouched over Jeremy, checking his bruised temple. "He'll be fine."

Bonne breathed a sigh of relief and dropped the poker, walking over toward the two of them, wordlessly easing to the floor on her knees beside them. They sat in silence side by side for a while, waiting for Jeremy to wake up, processing.

"What happened?" Bonnie asked, taking in the trivial carnage that struck the living room.

"I was upstairs and then there she was. I guess Lily was looking for Kai, and when she couldn't find him, she started in on the inquiries."

"Right. Are you okay?"

"Lily didn't do much damage. Not to me. She was going on and on about her family and—well, you know." Caroline glanced down at the unconscious figure. Jeremy must have set her off. He wasn't very good at controlling his impulses, especially when drunk or provoked. "I should call Stefan."

"You'd better." Bonnie eased onto her butt, leaning back against the couch for support.

"Are you okay?" Caroline asked, peering at her guiltily. "That must have taken a bit out of you."

"I'm fine." Bonnie smiled softly to put her at ease.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

She looked down at her witch friend a moment as if doubtful. "Then why would you lie?"

Bonnie could tell immediately to what she was referring and that the blonde thought it was because Bonnie was protecting Kai.

And was she? Maybe.

"Because she'd want to kill us," Bonnie answered after a second's thought. To her mind, it seemed the most logical and even the most honest answer. "And Enzo would have let her."

"Right," Caroline exhaled deeply, flashing her a smile as she jumped to her feet. "I'll find my phone and be right back."

"No hurry," Bonnie said, knowing the blonde hadn't heard her as she disappeared upstairs, leaving Bonnie to safeguard and patiently wait for Jeremy to wake up.

Which happened ten minutes later. Groaning, he pressed a hand to his aching and slightly bruised temple. "Bonnie?" he murmured when he saw her, blinking up at her in considerable shock. "Where am I?"

"The parlor," she replied softly.

He eased himself onto his elbows, appearing confused for a second and then in pain as he sat up.

"You okay?" she asked with concern, moving forward and onto her knees to help him sit up.

"Yeah, I— What happened?"

"You picked a battle with the wrong woman."

"Mama Salvatore," he grumbled as it came back to him, sounding like he needed aspirin.

"What were you thinking?" she asked, unable to keep the accusation from her tone.

"I wasn't," he admitted. "She said something and I reacted." Bonnie could see from the look of concentration on his brow he couldn't remember what.

"You can't keep doing that, Jer," she continued, feeling as though she needed to make herself clear, and saw a look of irritation mar his features. "You're going to get yourself, or possibly someone else killed."

"I don't need the lecture," he grumbled, pressing a hand to the side of his temple, wincing as it grazed the enflamed bump.

"I'm not trying to—"

"I already have a sister," he snapped, pushing off the floor, making her cringe as he made to hobble over to the home bar. She watched him take off his shirt and place some ice cubes into the bottom half, twisting the material to make himself an improvised icepack.

Bonnie stood, fraught with hurt as she made her way back to the basement. She charged down the stairs before she even knew why, appearing in the entranceway to his makeshift cell again. He didn't look at all shaken by what he might have heard upstairs or all that surprised to see her again.

"Where are they?" she demanded before even beginning to contemplate the idea of him denying her or the fact that he may not have heard what happened upstairs. He hadn't confirmed it before. "Where's her family?"

Lily's boisterous visit to the Boardinghouse had entertained Kai quite a bit, but he never showed how much. Wearing the habitual lazy smile, he opened his eyes to peer at the young witch, lacing his hands under his head. "Not where she's looking, I dare assume."

Bonnie hardly thought to stay beyond the border anymore, unable to contain her fury as both Lily and Jeremy had gotten under her skin respectively. "And where _should_ she be looking?" she queried, rather irked that he appeared so unsurprised and at ease. He must have been able to hear what was going on, he must have known that she was here. "Where are they?" she repeated, suddenly in need of an answer. How close? How far? How much more trouble was she in?

Her heart was picking up speed with every passing second, indicating the growth of her frustration and ire, and Kai wondered when she would start screaming and throwing spells at him to gain intel.

He propped himself on an elbow, regarding her with a condescending amusement. "You're having memory trouble again, Bonsy. Haven't I told you I wasn't here to make it easier for you? To help you ward off the danger and save your friends while they keep pouring shit upon your head and bitch at you when you slip in the pools of it?"

This wasn't about her friends anymore. This was about her. About protecting herself. Bonnie was over the idea of martyring herself and done taking chances with her life. She wanted to tackle the problems before they came to collect her head, like they just did. Hadn't he realized that even he was a raging example of that?

"If you wanna know something you don't and think I do – I'm not just handing it over. Now you will have to fight for it, work for it, win it. And don't wait for me to tell you how. You were smart enough to come up with a perfect vengeance plan when you left me in nineteen-o-three. This one should be a child's game to you."

"And here I thought we were making some headway," she replied, magically hauling him off the thin mattress, shoving the cot aside with the other hand, immobilizing him against the wall for better inspection as she neared. Bonnie hated his smug attitude. She hated how much pleasure he was getting out of tormenting her.

She stayed this way for another minute, making no move to choke or hurt him, purely securing him in place. She was angry and doing her best to contain the desire she had to _make_ him give her the answers.

And boy, was she angry. Kai sensed it coming off her in waves, like faint electricity in the air before a summer thunderstorm. She was eyeing him acutely, and he regarded her with the same lighthearted demeanor he had greeted her with. If there was anything Kai could read in her stare, it was struggling to refrain from torture. She wanted to do what he expected she would consider sooner or later: she itched to beat the answers out of him.

"I'm already giving you my blood," she reasoned. "What more do you want? Your freedom? I'm sure if you wanted that, you'd have taken it."

"You're so quick to belittle yourself, Banzai. What if it's your significant power and spells that keep me here?"

Bonnie liked to think she was finally being realistic. She had taken every precaution when she stationed him here and he had broken each one. The only reason Kai was here—and she believed that now wholeheartedly—was because he chose to be. Bonnie might be naïve to some extent, blinded by certain things and people, but she liked to think that she was steadily taking the blinkers off and allowing herself to see the truth.

"But it's beside the point. I have to remind you yet again of a thing I've already told you earlier – honestly, I really believe you gotta take notes or something. Here goes: there's nothing I want. I'm beyond wanting anything. Aside from blood, obviously, which I guess I hardly can function well without. Or who knows…" Kai looked at her pensively, then with an amusement of genuine wonder. "I actually have no idea if I can or not."

"I guess I should make things a fraction more uncomfortable then," Bonnie announced, summoning him to her as if he were a motionless puppet on a string. She centered him in the middle of the room so she could walk around him, careful not to give him leeway, knowing he'd retaliate. She wasn't prepared to duke it out just yet – not the second time.

The soles of his boots scrapped against the floor as she pulled him in place. She circled him like a hungry wild cat would a trapped antelope. Her fingers tucked into the collar of his denim jacket, sending goosebumps down his back, and pulled it off. She tossed it aside like a useless rag and stood before him, scrutinizing.

"I've been rather hospitable and accommodating to your requests," she said. "And frankly – as bad as I feel about what happened to your family and what I did to you – there is only so much I can do to make it up to you." Her eyes scanned his tee-shirt, and she touched her hand to his chest, fingers skimming the material where the hole from Caroline's fist should have been. Was he that vain that he had used magic to repair it? Or was she missing something?

She chose to brush aside the mystery and put on a deceptively friendly smile. "Not that I'll quit trying. Customarily, when I put my mind to something, I'm all in. And I am all in. But for right now and for this to work, I'm going to need you to loosen up, stop being so indifferent and throw me a bone. Because, like you, I, too, want to find some semblance of a normal life, and I can't do that with Mama Salvatore hovering in the background trying to conjure up new ways to kill me."

Her tone was calm and calculated, and Kai smelled an ultimatum looming just over the hill in her speech. He welcomed it with elated curiosity.

"So if that means I have to take a small break from my attempt to make amends in order to drain you of my blood, then that's what I'm going to have to do, right?"

Her fingers were toying with the rim of his shirt, and that calculated frivolity of her tone told Kai loud and clear she begged him not to make her do it. There was also her body language, letting him in on how unstable and possibly scared she was. And she had all reasons to be.

Bonnie wasn't sure she would go through with it, that she was capable of torturing someone – not like Damon, and yet, there was a part of her that was so scared of death and what she had experienced, that she would do anything to keep from repeating it. _Anything_. And that frightened her more.

Kai felt like a fisherman who's been sitting at a pond for hours staring at his float on the undisturbed surface and now has noticed the tiniest jerk. He was straining his eyes for any faint rings on the water to confirm it had been real and not his wishful thinking.

He clicked his tongue and canted his head, peering at her humorously. "You miss again, Bons."

It made her stomach drop, promptly turning her blood to ice. Bonnie missed the days of his cooperation, of that helpful smile she believed to be fake. This was like pulling teeth.

"For me, there's no semblance of a normal life I could want. I mean," he chuckled, "I don't even know what's normal, anymore, if anything is, at all. Let alone, if I want it. Probably not. Norm is something from science fiction to me."

She felt for Kai. She truly did. She was suffering the same problem. Bonnie convinced herself that once this was over, once Kai, Lily and the Heretics were all respectively dealt with, things would find some semblance of amity. Life and picking up the pieces thereafter would be easy and she would have the answers needed to slow her down. And yet—with Elena's life tied to her own so indefinitely—Bonnie now felt as if her existence had dribbled down into nothing and that taking things day by day wasn't allowed anymore. Bonnie needed to prove she deserved to be here.

She hated feeling like that and she hated questioning her worth for even a second.

He donated a mock deploring expression to her. "From the notes you should've been taking, I quote: I'm not throwing any bones unless you win them. End quote."

"Then we'll have to take a look at desiccation."

Bonnie ignored the end of his shirt, having intended to slice at his stomach a little in reminder of the stunt he pulled with Damon, hoping he'd be disinclined to push her any further. But somehow, she knew that wouldn't be the case, that with the mindset he was in he would push and push and push until his guts, too, were hanging on the floor. Bonnie didn't want to go that far.

She took a hold of his right wrist, feeling the light strains of magic start to take their toll. She wasn't accustomed to doing lengthy bouts of spells like this anymore and knew from experience that she wasn't built to go the extra mile, like some. There were limitations on her, on what she could do, and how much power she could use – there always had been, no matter the source.

Kai sensed magic seep in through the skin and crawl around like disturbed electrons, and looked at her with genuine curios anticipation that shot a bout of shivers up his spine. The float jerked again, and this time it sent ripples across the pond's surface. It was real. Her heart was starting to race nervously, but there was resolution in her eyes.

Bonnie drew her thumb along the length of his wrist, murmuring: "Manere aperta."

The flesh parted like a layered curtain but did not heal – and it wouldn't. Blood trickled down; Kai heard each drop hit the floor at his feet, _plop-plop-plop_. She repeated it with the other wrist, and neither wound healed. They were deep enough to have severed the veins and provided a steady flow of blood. It was going to take time, but not too long. He stood in two pools of his blood that were gradually expanding and soon would link into one.

"I know you're new to the ways of being a vampire so you're probably unaware of the next step," she said, taking a step back, mindful of the blood starting to pool at their feet and his gasp of pain. She didn't like what she was doing, she didn't take pleasure in it, and she sure as hell hadn't wanted to do it, but what other choice was there? What other means did she have that she could trust would get her quick answers? "But it's called desiccation. Your veins dry up, things become harsher and louder and you'll be desperate to sate your hunger, but unable… unable to move, to feed, and at the end of the day you'll be a dried up old husk of who you used to be. Not a man, not a vampire, merely a piece of decorative and deadly furniture."

Her eyes scrutinized him almost hungrily, eyeing her own float and hoping for a ripple. Wondering if his vanity or his imprisonment would allow him to succumb to something like that. She _hoped_ not.

"And I won't be able to help you as I wouldn't be able to give you my undivided attention. It's not fair to either of us."

Kai glanced down at the widening lake of red under his boots, wiggling his fingers lightly; they were starting to go cold at the tips. "Ugh, so bloodthirsty, Banzai. I'm shivering to the core."

_Bloodthirsty?_ Was that what she had become in wake of loneliness? Wasn't that what changed him? Bonnie, too, shivered, but for another reason, one that made her feel sickened by their more noticeable similarities.

He met her eyes and smiled a little. "Since you're up for some education, tell me, what's next? You bleed me dry, I lose my strength… and you still get no answers, and your town still meets its gruesome fate. So, what's the point?"

"There isn't one," she said, eyeing the blood flowing from his wrists in grisly rivulets. "I'm desperate." Giving no emphasis to the statement, feeling she could admit that without feeling any kind of shame. "I don't want to die for the sake of Damon's poor judgement. So if that means I have no choice but to make a run for it as far from here as possible, then I'm more willing to do that." She had already fought one battle and lost this night. She wasn't sure she was prepared for an entire war. "But there are no more in-betweens for me, no more taking unnecessary risks, no more leaving the hard hits to come to me or underestimating anyone. I'm done screwing around. I'm done negotiating." She had offered him leniency, given Kai the room needed to make up for what she did, but that was as far as Bonnie was willing to go, as far as she was looking to extent her arm—or neck. "Deal's off."

She released Kai, noticing him become a bit paler. He wasn't too weak but he was getting to a point.

Kai wavered where he stood, starting to feel weary from the blood loss. She walked away into the corridor and he lowered on the cot, closing his eyes for a moment to concentrate. A feeble warmth of power caressed the cuts. When he looked down at them, they skinned over sluggishly.

Bonnie walked over to the salt barrier, stretching to swat aside a few bloody grains when Caroline abruptly appeared in front of her.

"What the hell are you doing?" the blonde asked, staring at her friend and the blood all around. She reached down, hauling Bonnie away from the salt barrier and back out. "What's with the blood?"

"We're talking."

"Talking?" Incredulous, she peered inside again. "Are you kidding me?"

"What's going on, Caroline?"

She said nothing, raising a black shirt on her crooked index finger.

"And?"

"It's his," she said, confirming Bonnie's earlier suspicions. They both turned to look at him attentively.

"I liked your resolution, Bonnie," Kai said, ignoring the shirt matter altogether. "Time for negotiations or screwing around is running out quicker than any of you think. Sure, you can run, try to hide, but there's nothing to ever stand between the heretics and your family." He looked at her with a small shrewd smile. "You do have some left, don't you."

Bonnie swallowed hard at the thought of her mother getting caught in the crossfire the second time. Or even Lucy, for that matter – not that she was around or in Bonnie's life, but Bonnie knew Damon managed to contact her and that he'd even taken her blood for the spell they used to get to Bonnie in nineteen-ninety-four. Bonnie hadn't even been aware he knew Lucy or how to contact her. She herself didn't know how to reach her cousin—still didn't.

"Your line of witches helped put them in a prison world for a century – and since I've taken care of my coven, they'll never stop until all of YOU meet your horrid ends."

For an instant Bonnie saw her grandmother die, saw her mother's neck get snapped and her father's throat cut. All the people she loved had been expendable in some way or another, and not for a second had she thought it to be different now. She needed to warn her, to let Lucy know she was alive again and somehow get a message sent.

"There will be no negotiation or screwing around, you got that right. They're like terminators, the newest models that can't be destroyed by any means you know of. Your running won't even slow them down much. But you're free to try – I'll even wish you good luck. So, if you don't need me anymore, either kill me or let me go so I could resume my sacred vow to kill in your honor and share that pleasure with you for the rest of your mortal days." A falsely tender smile stretched his lips.

Bonnie thought with bitter irony how she had been moments from releasing Kai, seconds from opening that door and setting him free, stupidly thinking that his earlier threat to kill in her honor had blown over and that he'd had time to work through things.

"What is he talking about?" Caroline asked, intruding on her thoughts, tossing aside the bloodstained shirt.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes," she answered. "It matters. You're not alone in this anymore, remember?"

Bonnie nodded faintly, wishing they weren't having this conversation where Kai could prop, insert and stir. But there was no safe space upstairs. Not from Damon or Jeremy or anyone else that all of a sudden cared.

"Then tell me and don't try to cushion it," Caroline persuaded. "On a scale from one to ten… how screwed are we?"

"Terminators," Bonnie added. The blonde's nose wrinkled as she tried to wade through the reference. Bonnie arched a brow.

"What?" Caroline said with absolute innocence, reading her momentary exasperation. "I never watched the movies. I mean I did… but I slept mostly. You know they're not my scene."

"Twelve on the scale from one to ten," Bonnie mused in response, seeing her lips part in a light oh of displeasure.

"And there is nothing you can do?"

Bonnie shook her head faintly, ignoring the pang of irritation. Caroline meant well.

"But what about your research?"

"I have one pair of eyes, two hands, a lack of sleep issue, and a limited amount of time."

"I know… I just—I'm not sure if I can give up on this place just yet—"

"And how long is it going to take you to make that decision?" Bonnie interjected far more snippily than she intended. "Who is going to have to die next for you to see how fucked we are? Or are we going to stick with tradition and say: me?"

Caroline's eyes widening, her cheeks warming with obvious embarrassment. "Of course not—"

"Kai's right. They are going to come for me or… Abby. They always do!" Bonnie cast a look over her shoulder to see if any recognition dawned on him in light of her mother's name. How much did he know? How much had he told them?

"Then what can we do?"

"I don't know," Bonnie answered, glancing back at her wearily.

"And what about him?"

"I don't know," she repeated, feeling even more despondent.

Caroline fell silent, unsure of what to say, uncertain of what she could do to make this better or worse.

"Have you talked to Damon?" she asked, making Bonnie exhale wearily. "Maybe Stefan would be better. He could talk to his mother and try to tone down her crazy."

"You mean because that worked so well the first time?"

"Alright then," she said after a few minutes' consideration. "I guess we pack our bags and try to get as far from here as possible. Where should we go? Miami? Texas? Oh, maybe… Rome?"

Bonnie smiled, by no means possessing the heart to tell her that if she, Bonnie, were to leave, to make a run for it, she wouldn't be doing it with them. She would be alone and for safety sake wouldn't tell any of them where.

"You decide," was what she voiced.

Caroline smiled wider, putting on her best go-with-the-flow face. "I'll talk to Stefan. I mean… he should know of a half-decent place to set up shop. When should we look at—"

"As soon as possible," Bonnie interjected.

"I guess I'll go speak to him, then."

"Good plan." Bonnie made no move to follow as she started for the stairs again. "Oh, and Care… make sure Enzo doesn't catch wind of our intentions, okay?"

"Right. Got it. No Damon." A final nod and she was gone, forgetting why she'd come down here and why Bonnie stayed.

Kai had listened to their exchange with lazy interest, without interjecting. Their idea of just packing things and running amused him, and also let him in on the simple fact he had been almost certain of: none of them knew the true extent of the danger they were in, except for Bonnie who still doubted and fluctuated a lot in her assessments. She nodded and agreed when Caroline bubbled about places they could go and what had to be done before they did, but her heart was not in it, Kai could see.

Bonnie crouched down to pick up the shirt, inspecting it to take her mind off things. "So… tell me, were you being acerbic about spending the next however long at my side trying to make me miserable or have you really reached a stage in your life where you have nothing else to live for?"

Kai laughed. "Do you really deem my goals in life the most appropriate topic right now when you're that screwed? It's interesting, actually, how Caroline, for instance, acts like she has no fucking clue of what's coming, and she's been at the wedding. Amazing how your friends disregard any logic or facts when you're around. Know why? Because they know they don't have to overwork their asses or brains when you can pull your witchy juju and fix everything. Whatever the cost, they know _they'll_ be fine anyhow, because you go out of your way every time to make sure of that." He chuckled. "Wasn't it cute how much disbelief there was in her tone when she kept asking you if there's REALLY nothing YOU could do? Like she thought you were having her on saying there was no chance. Hilarious. It's like they're all blind in their arrogance, no matter how obvious the threat is."

Considering how much they had faced over the last few years and what they had defeated, Bonnie could understand Caroline's unwavering faith in her. But had she—they—forgotten the length Bonnie had gone to and suffered to achieve most those goals? None of them were easy and none came with a reliable price.

Kai squinted pensively, regarding her. "You remind me of Cassandra. Know that story? She was a clairvoyant woman in Troy who everybody deemed crazy, especially when she started running the streets and crying that Troy would burn and fall. Not one soul believed her! Because every citizen was arrogant enough to believe they were safe behind their walls. I think she died with the city. What a shame! Isn't it? She knew! Of all people, she did. Everyone mocked her, some threw stones telling her to shut up, but she kept warning them, and they kept laughing. I mean, if that were you – wouldn't you just leave them all to their fates and go? Save yourself to watch from the distance and gloat? Nah, she stayed and died with Troy she loved too much to abandon, even if there was fuck-all she could do about any of it. Died for nothing."

In the past – no, Bonnie would have stayed and fought, the same way she refused to run yesterday in spite of Matt's concern. She needed to finish this, she needed to put an end to what she had started, albeit unsuccessfully. Things were different now, far more out of control and deadlier than she cared to partake in and she didn't want to sacrifice herself – not anymore. Not for anyone. Not again. The days of her dying and watching her friends move on with their lives—forgetting about her—were over.

"And here's you, Bonnie of the ancient, powerful Bennett line," Kai concluded. "What are _you_ gonna do about your Troy?"


	16. Chapter 16

"And here's you, Bonnie of the ancient, powerful Bennett line," Kai concluded. "What are _you_ gonna do about your Troy?"

"I'm going to put as much distance between myself and this place as possible," Bonnie answered scrupulously, unwavering, uncaring that he now deemed her a coward. Whether or not everyone else heeded the warning she'd given Caroline and left as she had suggested – that was up to them.

For now—and from this moment in time—Bonnie's only true concern was Kai and her own safety.

"Don't get too comfortable," she said, gesturing around the makeshift cell, somewhat irked to see he was still in high spirits and that the blood loss hadn't gotten to him too much.

She needed a new spell, a new link, something that would prevent Kai from snacking on someone else and make sure he wouldn't be able to stray too far. If Bonnie was going to move, if she was going to force him to run with her, she was going to make sure he wouldn't be able to negate it, change up the plan and turn the whole thing over on its head.

"I'll be back." And with that, she started upstairs to face the music, convinced that Damon and Stefan were back by now and that they'd have a lot to say—or nothing—about Lily's appearance.

* * *

"We aren't going anywhere," she heard Damon announce, agitated and obstinate. "I don't care what Bonnie says right now, she's isn't thinking clearly."

"Keep your voice down!" Caroline ordered in a slight hush. "She's right behind me. Or she will be. And what does it matter if Bonnie's judgment is a bit askew. Have you forgotten she's been through a trauma?"

"Not to mention that she's been back less than two weeks," Stefan added.

"Trauma or no trauma, Bonnie needs to hear this," Damon iterated, still bitter—Bonnie guessed—about her inability to do anything for Elena. "We don't have time for a pity party fest or her unstable conscience."

Bonnie bit down the hurt at his words and walked into the parlor. All eyes swivelled toward her.

"Bonnie," Caroline greeted as if she hadn't been with her friend a couple of minutes ago, checking to see how much of their conversation Bonnie had overheard. "Everything okay? I mean with—"

"Peachy," Bonnie answered, cutting short the mention of the elephant in the room's name. She walked across the parlor, oblivious to Damon's glare. "Where's Jeremy?"

"Sleeping it off," he responded before Caroline could. "If you weren't so busy doing God only knows what with that lunatic downstairs – you'd know that."

"Is he okay?" she pressed on, staring Damon down, enticing him to further make a scene. He opened his mouth, preparing to spit something out, only to have Caroline cut him off this time.

"Little bruised, head and ego—but he'll live. I took him upstairs earlier—"

"And Alaric?" Bonnie asked.

"Oh, he—" Stefan began, taking the cue to ease into the conversation.

"Thinks that you're off your rocker," Damon finished, the glass he was drinking from poised against his lower lip.

"Quit it," Stefan reprimanded, his face shifting from stunned to that of contained fury.

"And that someone or something else returned from nineteen-ninety-four in your place. At least that's what we listened to him rant about for well over two-and-a-half hours."

"And is that what you believe?" Bonnie asked before she could think that she was playing into his set-up, powerless to keep the hint of hurt and fury from her voice.

"I didn't. Not until last night, not until you started sheltering a sociopath in my basement, and not until Caroline came up here with budding ideas of leaving Mystic Falls. My mother is NOT the problem—"

"Maybe not for you," Bonnie sneered. "Lily has yet to attempt to kill _you_."

"And who _hasn't_ attempted to kill you?" Damon retorted with a childish roll of his eyes.

"Stefan, Caroline," Bonnie supplied, feeling good about having a go-to reference.

"Whoop Dee Doo! That's only because you were too consumed by your paranoia—"

Damon gasped harshly and then grunted in agony when a sharp pain started behind his eyes and drove him to his knees.

Bonnie couldn't remember being this volatile. When they had been in the prison world things had never gotten physical, never reached that point—however aggravating he could be—and yet, now that they were back, now that Bonnie was struggling with life, trying to fit in the society and put herself first – it all felt wrong somehow.

"Bonnie," Stefan refuted in that gentle I-can't-bear-to-see-my-brother-in-pain tone of his. She glanced at him.

"Bonnie," Caroline replicated, flanking Stefan's side and reaching out to take a hold of the witch's shoulder.

"No," Bonnie said, shaking her off, ignoring her friend's pain, ignoring the blood running from his nose as it had from hers so many times over the years. "Your mother would have killed me tonight or she will when she's done with me."

She ignored the way Stefan's mouth opened and closed in uncertainty. She knew he wanted to tell her he'd protect her, that he'd make sure that wouldn't happen. But there was only so much he could do—like in the very beginning, when he first came into town—Bonnie knew he only had a limited hold over his family. And unfortunately, Lily was too much like Damon to put Bonnie at ease.

"I'm taking Kai and I'm getting out of here. I'm leaving."

"Bonnie," Caroline gasped, her voice peppered with apprehension. "You can't mean that—I—"

"I do," Bonnie said, hating to see tears in her friend's eyes. "I can't stay, Care. I can't wait for Damon to see past his angst or denial or whatever stage he is in right now and realize that his mother is about to bring hell on earth."

"I know you're scared, I know you think that we anticipate something from you and that you should have all the answers. But it isn't true."

Wasn't it? What of her earlier shock when Bonnie announced she had none?

"You're damn right I'm scared. And you should be, too. You saw what he is capable of."

Damon's grunts grew louder, his breathing shallower, harsher, until Bonnie was forced to look at him and concede. His blue eyes were narrowed and irate, a look of exhaustion marring his handsome face. Stefan made no move to go check on him. Caroline fell silent, unsure of how else to make Bonnie stay.

Bonnie finished her drink, set the glass down, and walked toward the entranceway. She wouldn't stay here tonight, she would grab her things and go. She didn't want to risk Lily making a round trip and returning in the middle of the night. And after Jo, after all the pain the doctor underwent, and the warning she'd received the day before, it seemed natural.

"I'm not letting you leave," Damon said, appearing in front of her, cutting off her retreat, making no move to wipe the blood from his nose and lips. He looked feral. "Not with him."

"I wasn't asking your permission," Bonnie said, staring him down unflinchingly, challenging him in the same way she had done for four months. There was a lot he let her get away with, a lot he let her do, but she could tell this wasn't one of those times.

"I know," he said and lunged, closing his hands around her forearms, hauling her against his chest to tuck into her neck. Bonnie gasped as his teeth broke through flesh and tore into her throat. There was a ruckus around her, and before she knew it, he was being ripped away from her and she was being cradled in someone's arms.

"Get me off me!" Bonnie heard Damon yell, and a fleshy thump as someone's fist connected with his face.

_"What the hell is wrong with you?!"_

There was another resound slap and something breaking.

Damon hadn't managed to take a lot of blood, but he stunned her. Bonnie peered into two concerned emerald eyes, wincing as Stefan pressed a hand to her neck. He gave her a baffled look.

"Caroline's blood," Bonnie responded half-heartedly in answer to his unspoken question, uncertain if she lied. She brushed aside his hand and slowly sat up. Stefan said nothing in response and extended a hand to help her off the floor. She ignored it.

"Back off, Blondie banks!"

"Are you trying to kill her?" Caroline accused, looking as ferocious as she had when she thought Kai was trying to maim her friend. "Is this about Elena? Are you that fucking selfish?!"

"Of course not!" Damon sounded affronted as he coughed, fraught with the little vervain that had been in Bonnie's system. "I'm trying to weaken her! Can't you see she's in need of an intervention and downtime?"

"An intervention with your teeth? How backwards ARE you?!" Bonnie could hear that Caroline didn't believe him, that her fear of losing Bonnie had taken her too far. As had Stefan. He rushed toward her, circling an arm around her waist before she could think to throw herself at Damon again, and pulled her back against his chest. "Don't you fucking touch her again, you understand me?"

"I'm trying to do what's best for her," Damon argued, refusing to back down. "She needs help before he—" He hadn't gotten to finish voicing his plan of action when suddenly his head snapped to the left as though struck hard. He crumbled to the floor, both Caroline and Stefan abruptly stopping to stare at Bonnie.

"When he wakes up. Tell him I'm sorry," Bonnie said, knowing that she was. She hadn't wanted their relationship to go this route. She pushed off the floor and stood. "For everything. For Elena, for the neck, for global warming."

"You know he cares about you," Stefan said as though he unexpectedly felt it necessary to make that clear, as if that had gotten lost in translation after everything that happened.

"I know," she said, glancing down at his unconscious figure, feeling that hollow pang once again take a hold of her heart and squeeze.

"Are you sure?" Stefan asked as she approached the archway.

"About leaving?"

He nodded.

"It's my best bet." And with that Bonnie started out, dashing across the foyer and upstairs to fetch her grimoire, her clothes bag, and to recast the linking spell. She would work out the finer details once she room to breathe.

* * *

The whole exchange upstairs had provided a great amount of entertainment as Kai took in the words and noises reaching his ears from the drama in the parlor as if he were on the first row watching the show on stage. Damon performed brilliantly, he had to give him that. Kai didn't expect it would click so well, every detail of the puzzle seemed to fit in ways even he couldn't have predicted. It was ironic how Damon helped most with something he fought so hard. Mother once told Kai, Whatever you resist the most is most likely to happen to you. Perhaps she was right, and Damon could relate to that little piece of wisdom had he known.

For a moment, Kai felt a subtle touch of uncertainty, like a whiff of icy air in the middle of a hot summer day. It seemed too easy. What if some higher power guiding their big game here in this world was coaxing him to relax to later yank the rug from under his feet? That shit happened too often. It was like a stamp. But if he thought about it, he couldn't quite state it went too easy for him. Not by a long shot, if Kai counted all of his misfortunes. So, maybe this time it was a legit luck turning on its brilliance to rain it upon him. He wouldn't mind. Nor would Bonnie, he suspected. Not for some time, at least.

* * *

"I should go with you," Caroline said after they threw Bonnie's bags into the back of Zach's Ford. Bonnie couldn't take Damon's car—that would be cruel—Caroline's was with Matt, and Stefan's was, well, adorable but unconventional for prison-convoy duty.

"No," Bonnie said, having been on this topic of conversation for fifteen minutes already.

"But what if he tries to kill you? What if this is all part of his masterful plan?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know." Caroline looked sheepish as they approached the basement to collect Kai. She had a vervain gun in her hand, one fully equipped and ready to stun his ass for transport. "I just… maybe Damon's right—or at least… he would have been, if you'd let him finish."

She was starting to sound like brainwashed Jeremy.

"He's not. Trust me."

"I'm trying, Bonnie. But…"

"But what?"

"Do you even know what you're doing with this guy? Don't you think that maybe you're in a little too deep?" She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, weighing up what next to say without obviously trying to hurt Bonnie. "Redemption and reforming the bad guy was Elena's thing."

"Are you saying I'm trying to compensate?"

"Are you?"

"No," Bonnie shook her head, clearing it of the sudden confusion, and reaching to take the gun from her.

"I know losing Elena was hard on you—"

"I'm okay."

"I don't believe you," Caroline said, reaching to take a hold of her friend's arm, turning Bonnie to face her.

"I haven't lost her. She's there. And when I can, I'll do everything I can to find a way around this."

"And what if there is no way?"

Bonnie shrugged. "I keep trying."

"Bonnie, don't do this," she pleaded, worried about Bonnie's mental space and where things were headed. And more importantly: what if Damon was right? "Let me go with you."

"I'll be fine," Bonnie said, reassuring her for the umpteenth time. "I'll call you, on the hour, every hour." At least for the first little bit and until Bonnie knew where she was going. Caroline, unmindful of the gun, reached forward, pulling her into a hug, holding onto her as if she were afraid she would never see her again. Bonnie hugged her back. When they loosened their grip on one another, Caroline looked hesitant to let go, afraid of what might happen if she did.

"I don't have much time," Bonnie said, whirling away from her, stepping up to the doorway once more and peering inside to see where Kai was. She was going to have to make this quick. Damon would wake soon.

Their emotional talk with Caroline didn't bother Kai much, aside from the points where it confirmed that Bonnie was heading in the right direction.

He observed her with an attentive mien of an eager student when she stopped on the threshold of his cell, holding a gun. He raised his hands in mock display of surrender. "You better have some spare shirts and a shower to promise me if you're gonna shoot this thing."

"If you're lucky," Bonnie said, and squeezed the trigger. She couldn't risk Kai trying to screw around on their way out, by no means ready for a physical altercation between the two most important men in her life. Caroline caught Kai before he tumbled to the floor, not wanting to get herself bloodied up more than necessary.

"Not to be morbid and off-topic but um… what about Jo?"

"She's there when Alaric is ready to bury her. Just make sure he doesn't take weeks, months, or even years."

Bonnie lowered the gun and overlooked the echo of sadness in Caroline's eyes, checking to see if there were any rounds left in the cartridge as she went to examine the motionless figure in the second cell. Bonnie stepped inside, crouched, and pulled the blue mesh back away from the woman's once expressive and friendly face. Jo hadn't decayed, nothing that Bonnie could markedly see, no discoloration, and no smell, nothing you'd expect from a corpse. But she knew that wouldn't last forever – not all magic did, and this one had been more than a temporary fix.

"Bonnie?" Caroline called softly. "Are you coming?" Bonnie could tell she seemed hopeful her friend had changed her mind in the last few seconds. As if somehow Bonnie'd had an epiphany. "Should I go ahead and load him in so long?"

"He isn't luggage, Caroline," Bonnie chided with a hint of vexation, incapable of containing a small smile of implicit amusement when she walked back out into the corridor and saw how the blonde was carrying him.

"You could have fooled me," she replied. Kai was thrown over her right shoulder, her arm enfolded around his legs to keep him from falling off. Bonnie had doubled the dosage of the vervain, making sure he'd be out cold for a bit.

"How are you going to contain him, anyway?"

"Same way I did here. Plus, as he referred to it, a magical leash."

"You should keep that with you," she said, gesturing to the gun Bonnie was still holding. "It might come in handy if things go belly up. I mean…I won't be around to save you if um… things get out of control."

"They won't," Bonnie replied, sounding confident while being by no means sure of how anything would go from here on out or if this was even a good idea. "Now let's go, vampires have an amazing rebound rate, as you well know, and chatty Kathy up there is going to be wanting to rage war when he wakes up. I don't want to be around for that."

Caroline walked ahead, bypassing the parlor where she knew Stefan was waiting for Damon to wake up in hopes of calming him down or serving him a drink to help with the pain in his neck. She loaded Kai into the backseat of the old Ford with Bonnie's help, mindful of his legs—at Bonnie's request—and her own care, making sure he appeared comfortable. Bonnie tossed the tranquilizer gun into the passenger's seat.

"What are you going to do about the sun?"

"Excuse me?"

"For him?" Caroline gestured down at Kai. That had completely escaped Bonnie's mind. "For Kai."

"I—" Bonnie began, peering around the garage for something she could strew across him.

"Give me a second. I'll be right back," Caroline said, disappearing from Bonnie's line of vision, headed back inside the house to collect a large blanket, which she threw over him upon her return and tucked in as to make sure none of the afternoon's deadly rays would singe him and cause a distraction. As much as Caroline loathed the guy, she loved Bonnie more.

"What are you going to do for money?"

"I have a stash at home, about two hundred bucks that should get me around. I mean… it's not like I have to worry about feeding him." Bonnie looked down at the hybrid. "No real food anyway. All I have to concern myself with is a bed."

Caroline signed and peered at the floor, resisting the urge to ask her to stay, and then reached out to pull her into another hug. Bonnie embraced her one last time, dismayed that they hadn't gotten to reunite properly. She wished things were different – less murder and mayhem, and more of what they had imagined a year-and-a-half back.

"I better go," Bonnie said at long last, pulling back from her, offering a smile, ignoring the sheen of tears in their eyes as she climbed into the driver's seat, slipped on the seatbelt, and steadily pulled out from the driveway.

* * *

Bonnie was respectively quick to loot her grandmother and father's houses, taking chunks of change from their cookie jars, fireplaces and an old hollowed-out book her grandmother tucked into the bookshelf for emergency purposes. By the time she made her way out of Mystic Falls, heading for the US-301 and James Madison Parkway crossing over into Maryland, she was a thousand-one-hundred-and-fifty dollars richer.

She bypassed the store, having found sea salt in her grandmothers kitchen, all of which she had stuffed into the trunk, along with a pillow, duvet, and a couple of the Martins' grimoires. Just because she was running—trying to find security—didn't mean that she was giving up or would be letting go of this heretic thing altogether. She couldn't. She was the reason they were here. But her hunt was devoid of pressure – at least for now.

She found a place to park outside the Thunderbird Motel under the shade of two trees, spending a good fifteen minutes listening to any sounds of Kai rousing in the backseat and hunting for the cheapest possible motel. There were two choices and only one that made the cut.

* * *

Damon blinked open his eyes and massaged his neck with a groan, waiting out the passing disorientation, a soft snarl bursting forth from his lips when he recollected what Bonnie had done to him.

"Where is she?" he said as his vision cleared and his brother came into view.

"Gone," Stefan replied, taking a sip of his whiskey. "She left thirty minutes ago."

"And you let her leave?"

"Did I have any other choice?"

"You should have knocked her out!"

"Damon—"

"Fuck you, Stefan!" Damon got to his feet within seconds, enraged. "I'm done with your principled 'let everyone think for themselves' bullshit!"

"You may be. But it's _her_ choice," Stefan argued.

Damon felt a squelching need to punch him. "Choice? What choice?"

"Give it a rest," Stefan said with vexation.

Damon whirled around and headed for the front door.

"Where are you going?" Stefan called after him, moving around the bar to track after.

"To hunt her down before she does something stupider."

"Like what?" Stefan asked, trying to make sense of what Damon was trying to _save_ her from.

"Him. Kai."

"Did you miss the part where Bonnie informed us of our mother's insistence to threaten her? Lily was here, Damon. She tried to hurt Jeremy. She _did_ hurt Jeremy."

"What's your point?" Damon asked without looking back. He didn't stop walking, either.

"How do you think Elena would feel about that?"

Damon reacted straightaway, slamming Stefan into the wall, a hand wrapped around his throat. Stefan countered, grabbed a hold of his wrist, and twisted harshly. Damon grunted as the bone snapped and the pain nearly drove him to his knees. Stefan shoved him back, watching as Damon righted his wrist with an aggrieved snarl, his eyes bright with detestation as he glared at his brother.

"I am not in the mood for your Doctor Phil routine, Stefan."

"Bonnie has a legitimate reason to be scared, Damon."

"I know that," Damon retorted, turning away from him to head for the door again.

"Then why are you fixed on dragging her back here?"

Damon stopped short, peering back at Stefan, indeterminate of how to reply to that.

"Just let her have tonight. Let her get some sleep somewhere without feeling harassed."

"Fine," Damon answered.

Stefan narrowed his eyes disbelievingly, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Fine?"

"Yes, fine. If you want to sit back and wait for Bonnie to waste time with her newfound need to redeem the irredeemable, then so be it. But I won't be hanging around to do the same."

And with those finishing words Damon was gone, the front door left wide open in his immediate retreat. Stefan walked toward it with a sigh, examining the driveway, trying to listen for where Damon might have headed.

"Everything okay?" Caroline asked, appearing behind him, cutting short his concentration. She gazed over his shoulder to see what he was looking for, rather concerned herself. "Where's Damon?"

"Witch hunting," Stefan replied.

Caroline moved around him and then stepped out onto the small porch.

"What if he catches up to her?" she asked, sounding as if she didn't want that to happen.

"Caroline—"

"No," Caroline held up a hand to silence Stefan. She didn't want to hear Damon's actions justified.

"He won't kill her," Stefan assured her instead, reaching out to take her hand.

Caroline stiffened. "But he'll hurt her" she withdrew her hand sharply, taking a step off the porch and onto the lush grass, looking fierce and protective.

"Then… call her, warn her."

"What?"

"Let Bonnie know that Damon is on the lookout and find out where she is."

"You don't think it's too soon?"

Stefan folded his arms, leaning against the doorframe, a knowing smile on his lips.

"Okay, so I already tried to call her once," Caroline admitted without a hint of guilt. "But… I wanted to make sure she was okay. Bonnie was so upset when she left. I just… I worry."

"Try again," Stefan encouraged, needing to know for himself, too. He'd sleep better knowing she wasn't getting herself into any more trouble. Caroline removed her phone, dialed her friend's number and waited.

Bonnie didn't answer.

"She's probably driving," Caroline mused after her second attempt, sounding anything but happy. "She's being responsible."

"As she is most of the time."

A grimace swept across Caroline face, one that belied her support of that particular remark.

"How is Jeremy?" Stefan asked, changing the subject, giving Caroline chance to calm down. Caroline had gone to check on the young hunter, to make sure Jeremy was still sleeping and that there were no lurkers. Stefan suspected she needed a space from Damon, given he'd driven her best friend away.

"Out cold," she said, still facing forward. Her mind was wandering.

Stefan nodded, deciding to give Caroline the space to adopt what she wanted to do next and to pour himself another drink. He downed it in one go and refilled his glass.

"I still can't get a hold of her," Caroline murmured when at last she glided into the parlor.

Stefan walked over to her, slipping the refilled glass into her hand. "Drink."

She sat down and did so without a word. Stefan smiled affectionately. Caroline thrived on control and things were unreasonably chaotic, far beyond anything she could think to comprehend.

"Give it thirty minutes and try again." He fished his cell phone out, flicking through his call logs.

"You think he'll pick up?" she asked with a touch of disdain and drank.

"No, I want to check on Ric. I left him with a nurse they recommended at the hospital earlier. Couldn't leave him there all alone."

"Oh," Caroline smiled softly, touched that he'd thought of such things, and finished her drink in slow sips while he made the call and conversed with the nurse he called Mrs. Whittle.

"Still asleep," he informed, toying with his phone and the idea of trying to call Damon despite knowing he would ignore it. "He will be for a while."

"Maybe we should—"

"It's okay," he reasoned before she could assign herself a new task. "Get some sleep, read a book or paint your nails."

She didn't look enthused about tackling any of those things.

"That speed dry blue is in my bedside drawer," he added.

"What speed dry blue?"

Stefan shrugged. "I found it amongst my clothes when I moved back from your place."

"But that was months ago."

Stefan smiled a little wider. "I decided to hold onto it in case of a nail emergency."

"Whose? Yours or mine?"

He chuckled and held his arms out, "C'mere." A slow smile claimed her mouth, as though she resisted it at first thinking it might not be appropriate to smile when everything was so grim. She shifted into his embrace, and he wrapped his arms around her, making her sigh with the closest to comfort she could feel at the moment. "It's gonna be okay. We'll pull through. We always do."

"That's the thing," she murmured sadly. "What if this time it's too much to handle? We always pull through because Bonnie finds a way to help it. And now… now I don't even know where she is."

Stefan tightened his arms around her unconsciously, wary that she would cry. But she merely gave a deep, shaky sigh. "Bonnie's still a witch. She can handle herself," he reasoned. "Besides, Kai won't kill her – it'd do away with the spell he put on Elena which he probably means to keep working."

"No one can know what that psycho means," she scoffed, scowling as more worry washed through her. "I should've ripped his heart out when I had the chance."

Stefan opened his mouth to say something objective, and didn't.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a joint effort written by @KaiJest and @NaturesParamour on twitter. We welcome your feedback.


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